To LTB in New Year's Eve?

[mamagrinandbearit]

Long time poster who name changed recently after lots of posts about my OH and how difficult he was during my pregnancy, birth and early weeks of babies life.

I've realised I've made a really awful mistake in my OH. I don't regret my wonderful DS (now 7 months) for one second but so wish I had chosen a better partner and father. He was borderline abusive throughout my pregnancy and I wanted to end our relationship. He was horrendous during my long difficult birth and was barely there, constantly moaning about how long it was taking and pushing me to have a c-section. I had a natural birth eventually but had a short stay in TCU as DS was a little poorly.

OH was awful the first few weeks offering no support, constant arguments and criticism. I have pretty much raised DS alone to this point and found OH only a hinderance.

Over the last few months there have been a few big rows and I thought perhaps we had resolved our issues but over Christmas things have once again been very strained. We argued on Christmas Eve as OH was drunk and I got so upset I was sick. He has once again caused a huge row tonight.

We went for a few drinks with friends this afternoon and he suggested we pre order a takeaway for this evening that he would cycle to collect (5 minute cycle or 15 minute walk) I ordered the food and put DS to bed and OH (who had continued drinking at home) then said he would drive as it was cold. I told him that was a ridiculous idea and he stormed off saying he would walk in the freezing cold, he came back minutes later shouting that I didn't care if he froze and he was only trying to be nice etc etc.

I've calmly told him that I think our relationship is over and I will stay at my parents for a while whilst we sell our house etc. I really hope I can follow through with this. AIBU to make such a big decision right now?! I feel like I've been putting this off hoping things will be ok because I really didn't want this to be the outcome but I feel like I have no other choice.

Sorry for the long post. No one to talk to as everyone is off having a lovely nye!

OH is full of apologies this morning and trying to get me to stay. Feel a bit weak as I've backed down. I feel like if I stay it's just until it happens again. Almost like waiting for things to get worse but a part of me hopes it might be better.

I did this. Each time I hoped it would get better and I ended up staying 10 years. Leaving 5 years ago, a week before Christmas, is the best thing I have ever done for me and my children. You know what you need to do OP. Don't be manipulated.

its a massive step to take.

I left my DH at New Year a long time ago, stayed away for 9 months, then went back to him.. worst fucking decision I ever made.

It took me another 6 years to pluck up the courage to walk away again.. this time its been permanently and i'm now 16 months free of him.

You won't leave until you're ready.. and its the hardest most gut wrenching thing to do, but you need to put yourself and your baby first.. you've a right to be happy and safe and not having to wonder when the next argument is going to happen.

One day you'll look back and be SO grateful for this! It's difficult and scary to follow through on decisions like this but please do. It's the best for yourself and you child. You both deserve happiness and this is the first step! What perfect timing - new year new start. Good luck xxx

Without trying to sound too harsh (I've been there and done that), when you feel your resolve weaken, ask yourself; Am I really willing to put my own desires before what my baby needs to grow up safe and secure.

As above. Wise comments. CONGRATULATIONS! Stay strong and think of how much happier you and your child will be.

Hi OP . I hope you are ok. Please just go. Go go go. Pack the most essential things and just leave. You will think more clearly when yoh are away feom the home. Nothing will ever change, just a cycle on repeat. Forever.