Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - 15 yo dd wants to spend NYE hanging about in the park

43 replies

waterandlemonjuice · 31/12/2018 17:07

I’ve said no, she and her friend are welcome in the house or our garden but that hanging about in a dark village park late at night is not on

She says what is my problem

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
waterandlemonjuice · 31/12/2018 17:08

We are going out to eat 7-9 ish do this would be after that, her and a girl friend. We live in a village, park is pitch black and about 5 minutes away

OP posts:
EcoCalc · 31/12/2018 17:09

Stand your ground. Bizarre and risky behaviour

PlumpkinStew · 31/12/2018 17:10

YANBU, I wouldn't let her either.
I think it's a good compromise for her to have her friends over at your house.

Oddcat · 31/12/2018 17:10

Absolutely not - I wonder who else will be there ?

Original poster
waterandlemonjuice · 31/12/2018 17:11

I am suspicious that some teen boys are scheming to meet them there

OP posts:
Original poster
waterandlemonjuice · 31/12/2018 17:11

But I have absolutely no evidence for this

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 31/12/2018 17:11

God no, I wouldn't allow that.

Theimpossiblegirl · 31/12/2018 17:11

Our village park sounds similar. There will be a few teens there tonight escaping families. As long as they are not drinking or smoking it doesn't bother me if mine go.

2019rubberband · 31/12/2018 17:12

am suspicious that some teen boys are scheming to meet them there

Eh?

It's totally normal for teen girls and boys to hang about together?

What's with the weirdness?

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2018 17:12

YANBU

I wish more parents would say no to this sort of thing.

My house is one road away from a park and the constant screeching, laughing and shouting from teenagers til the early hours, does everyone's heads in.

EspressoButler · 31/12/2018 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stickerrocks · 31/12/2018 17:15

I would be worried that they are not openly outlining their plans with you. There's a lot more scope for too much drink & drugs at a park. I wouldn't let my DD go.

pigsDOfly · 31/12/2018 17:17

Absolutely not something she should be doing, ever.

She's asking what is your problem?

I imagine your problem is that you love her and don't want her to get herself into potentially harmful situations.

Sit her down and calmly explain your problem with this terrible idea and stick to your guns.

Greensleeves · 31/12/2018 17:17

Mine are boys, but the 15yo is allowed out until 9.30 and the 16yo until 10 tonight. I want them home by then partly because we want them to see in the NY with us eating/drinking/playing games, and partly because it's cold and not very pleasant in the park late at night and they're not quite adults yet.

I didn't think our approach was particularly unusual. It's a compromise, basically. They need some space and freedom to see their friends, and we need them home/safe/with us for the later part of NYE.

PlumpkinStew · 31/12/2018 17:18

At the end of the day - you are her mother and you don't actually need a reason to say no but it's good she's been open with you so sit down and talk to her about you being worried for her safety but she can have people over.

Haworthia · 31/12/2018 17:18

Teens only hang out in parks at night to get absolutely shitfaced. It would be a no from me.

milliejones25x · 31/12/2018 17:20

Teens often drink in parks and want to celebrate these holidays with their friends. I think you should let her go. My mother died when I was only little, so my aunt helped raise me. She would let me do things as long as I told her the truth about what happened. I found this really effective, as I could still experience things, but with her guidance and not hiding things. Obviously, if she thought it was too much for me at my age, she would put a stop to it, but I think that it was a great technique. I am like this now with my teenage son, he is only thirteen but we are taking things as they come. I think you should ask her about what she plans on doing tonight and then make a decision together, maybe compromise on times and things.

SinglePringle · 31/12/2018 17:20

16 and home by 10pm on NYE?! Blimey...

That said, I used to hang out in the park at 15. That’s why I’d try to stop my kid doing it now!

XiCi · 31/12/2018 17:20

If she's anything like we were she'll be meeting a gang of mates to get pissed. As pp said I'm surprised she hasn't just told you she's going to a mates!
God, dd is only 8 and thinking about the teenage already brings me out in a cold sweat!!

Greensleeves · 31/12/2018 17:21

SinglePringle to be fair his girlfriend is coming home with him Grin

daisypond · 31/12/2018 17:22

Perhaps it depends what your area is like. I think it's OK for a 15-year-old to be out locally with friends on New Year's Eve, though better at a house with friends than at the park, I admit. I'm in London and mine were out with friends at that age.

SinglePringle · 31/12/2018 17:24

Greensleeves, ah, fair enough!

Moussemoose · 31/12/2018 17:24

Teenagers hanging round in parks.....ahhhh happy days.

Drugs, cider and groping in the bushes - good times!

My kids don't want to go.

lottiegarbanzo · 31/12/2018 17:39

Ah, very much what I did at weekends at that age. Not terrible but not great either and, not to midnight. No. Park til ten then home, or at somebody's house?

Andro · 31/12/2018 17:41

No, that wouldn't be happening here - not safe imo.

That said, I'd find some way of rewarding her honesty - probably some increase in privileges - because a lot of teens wouldn't have been that honest.