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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

15 year old from Croydon to Guildford

72 replies

BlueBerryRep · 31/12/2018 13:47

DD wants to go out with a group of 8 friends to Guildford on the train to go ice skating or something in the afternoon. I said no because it’s too far and I can’t pick her up if something goes wrong. She said that I’m being ridiculous since I barely let her go out around Croydon with her friends and that most parents are already letting their kids go up to London alone. AIBU? Should I let her go?

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/12/2018 13:50

If they all plan to stay together it is an easy enough train journey.

ForalltheSaints · 31/12/2018 13:50

Not today as there’s strike action and a reduced train service.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 31/12/2018 13:50

At 15 I’d let her go.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 31/12/2018 13:52

Def let her go, I don't see anything risky at all about that - she's 15!
Mine were going to London by train at about 13 with mates. You can't wrap her up forever, let her go.

waterrat · 31/12/2018 13:53

At 15 I lived in London and was going right to the other side of london with friends. Not sure I asked permission! Within a year or two she won't have to ask so you would be better off supporting her to make confident choices now while she still listens to you.

BikeRunSki · 31/12/2018 13:53

Hie are they getting there?
As someone who grew up in SW London, I don't think that sounds too bad.
Is it a single-leg train journey?
I’d say that at 15 she needs some trust and freedom to go out with her friends.

But - I grew up in London in the 1980s and my own children are only 7 and 10, so I may be looking at this from a completely different perspective.

Original poster
BlueBerryRep · 31/12/2018 13:54

It would be on Thursday ForAllTheSaints

OP posts:
Original poster
BlueBerryRep · 31/12/2018 13:55

They would have to swap trains at least once

OP posts:
HRTpatch · 31/12/2018 13:56

Yes she should go. Can't believe your 15 year old has not been.into London.

SmilingButClueless · 31/12/2018 13:57

I was going into London and Guildford on my own at that age (didn’t live in either city, but one train away from each). Not sure I see the issue here unless there is some underlying reason for her to not be able to manage?

londonmummy1966 · 31/12/2018 13:57

I think your dd is right - at 15 she should be able to navigate a fairly straightforward journey by public transport -plenty of 11 year olds (mine included) manage a daily journey to school in and out of central London or Croydon.

Pagwatch · 31/12/2018 13:58

Yep.
I’d let her go.
Croydon to Guildford isn’t difficult. The leisure centre is a walk from the station. Those lines are fine - it’s an easy journey.
Kids get to schools around her by train from 11 years old.
Dd was doing journeys like this at 14/15

titchy · 31/12/2018 13:59

Wow massively unreasonable! How the hell do you expect her to learn to negotiate the world in a couple of year time if you don't think she can cope with a fairly straightforward journey with friends Confused

What's the worst that can happen - she misses a train or gets the wrong one.

Hercules12 · 31/12/2018 13:59

Dd is 15 and travels around London with her friends all the time. I do think it's a bit odd you don't let her. How does she get to school?

Irish3008 · 31/12/2018 14:00

Let her go. She's 15, not 1.5!

WWlOOlWW · 31/12/2018 14:02

Ermm I mean this kindly but yes you should let her go! Ideally you should have been gearing up to letting her travel more and more over the last few years but seeing as you haven't I'm afraid you are going to just let her dive right in.

My DS has been traveling into London for a good couple of years. He went to Stratford yesterday but regularly goes to central London/west end.

London91 · 31/12/2018 14:02

Personally I'd let her go. It's not too far and she's old enough to have some freedom. If anything goes wrong then obviously it doesn't happen again. Set some boundaries about a time she needs to be home for, but other than that I'd let her go.

Cherries101 · 31/12/2018 14:02

I have seen 10 and 11 year olds go into London on my commuter route for school. If they can do it why can’t your 15yo?

BuffaloCauliflower · 31/12/2018 14:02

It’s a longish walk from the station to the Spectrum, half an hour maybe (I used to live half way between the two) but fine for young legs? The trains are fine too, let her go. At 15 I was all over London on the tube, this is how she learns to be independent and responsible. The rink at the Spectrum is worth travelling for as well.

goldengummybear · 31/12/2018 14:02

Your dd is right. One change is easy peasy.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 31/12/2018 14:04

Croydon to London is about a 15 minute direct train journey, why haven't you let her do that before now?

lastqueenofscotland · 31/12/2018 14:04

She’s 15 not 5!
If she’s got to 15 and wouldn’t be able to navigate a simple train journey that’s pretty shoddy parenting on your part. I was flying Aberdeen - London -Hong kong and back regularly without an adult at 14

skippy67 · 31/12/2018 14:09

Let her go.

RedWineIsFabulous · 31/12/2018 14:09

If you let her go out in the area that is Croydon alone then she’ll be absolutely fine with mates travelling to Guildford.

riotlady · 31/12/2018 14:14

At that age I went to London from Aberdeen alone!

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