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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To worry about retirement with your oh?

48 replies

DanielleEvans · 30/12/2018 22:54

Don’t get me wrong- I do love my hubby but I do worry about the future when we are both retired.

I think holidays like at the moment seem to highlight my fear, I’m quite looking forward to going back to work next week (he works from home so is always here).

Hasn’t really done anything in particular but he’s starting to annoy me now, anyone else worry about retirement and having to spend a lot more time with their partner?

OP posts:

Singlenotsingle · 30/12/2018 22:58

Not really. I'm retired now, and DH works three days. We manage quite well. I think the best idea is to plan ahead for it.

ginandbearit · 30/12/2018 22:58

Friend of mine recently retired at the same time as her husband and I asked her how it was going..."half the money and twice the man"...she wasn't looking too chuffed

NicoAndTheNiners · 30/12/2018 23:00

Dh will be dead by the time I retire as he's quite a bit older than me so no I don't worry about spending time with him. I worry about being on my own and lonely though.

Ta1kinPeace · 30/12/2018 23:02

I'll never have the money to retire
nor will he
sorted

Sausagerollers · 30/12/2018 23:03

Nico; sounds a bit harsh. People can (though obviously it's rarer now) retire in their 50s & live to be 100, so how come you're so sure he'll die before you??

I'm quite looking forward to retirement. I imagine I'll work part time for a while when DH retires & that way he can keep the house ticking over whilst I come back to a nice meal in the evening.

Got a few years to go yet though!

isthistoonosy · 30/12/2018 23:06

We always seem to have a project on the go, we talk wistfully of being home and bored, but I can't ever see it happening, or us really wanting it.
So I'm more worried that retirement will be harder than being at work.

Guineapiglet345 · 30/12/2018 23:08

No, I can’t wait, but DH and I work for the same company so we’re in the same building most of the time anyway providing we can ever afford to retire!

maras2 · 30/12/2018 23:11

We are having the best time ever.
Together 50 years.
2 DC's
3 DGC's.
Lots of hobbies.
Lots of lie ins.
What's not to love?

Pagwatch · 30/12/2018 23:11

It’s quite a shock.
DH retired really early and honestly, he got on my nerves. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy his company but because he didn’t know what to do with himself
We still have school runs and stuff so the day still had a 9 to 5 feel but he had nothing he had to do.
I’m the end he and I opened a shop and that works well. He’s also realised that we can go out to lunch even though it’s not the weekend and the cinema lets you go in in the afternoon

It’s pretty fab now

CloserIAm2Fine · 30/12/2018 23:14

My parents are seem to manage by being independent enough to have separate interests and do things apart from each other, so aren’t stuck together constantly which I think they’d find claustrophobic.

Anyone is irritating if you’re with them 24/7, that’s why it’s important to have friends, hobbies and a life of your own.

Eilaianne · 30/12/2018 23:16

Er, we're both of a generation that likely won't be able to retire

My parents have a similar problem (dad's "always under her feet" these days) - being able to choose being a SAHM, buying a property on a single (relatively unskilled) salary, then dad retiring at 58... It's hard to have sympathy some days.

Pagwatch · 30/12/2018 23:21

So not really a thread for you then

5foot5 · 30/12/2018 23:23

Really looking forward to it.

We both still work FT but DH is 61and I am 56 and since we do have considerable personal pension provision we hope to both retire in the next couple of years.

We have lots of hobbies and interests, many of them shared. We also have travel plans. Perhaps most importantly we are best friends and enjoy each others company. Bring it on.

AnnabelleLecter · 30/12/2018 23:24

DH and I can't wait to retire in the near future. We do loads together, have a busy social life and lots of friends, plus some same and some separate hobbies.
We've been out every day and quite a few evenings over the last 10 days and are dreading going back to work.
DH is going part time from April and I already am and we're making so many plans.

pinkdelight · 30/12/2018 23:25

Why would you be worried about retirement with my OH??

(Sorry, couldn't help myself)

Original poster

DanielleEvans · 30/12/2018 23:26

Yes I think it’ll be ok as long as I ensure we have lots of friends, hobbies and activities to keep us occupied,!

OP posts:

homebirds · 30/12/2018 23:31

I don't look forward to it at all. We have no shared hobbies and I can't even begin to think what they would be!

blue25 · 30/12/2018 23:37

I really don't believe that whole generations won't be able to retire! It's in your own hands to build careers, pensions, savings etc.

Anyway, we can't wait to retire and have plans for travel, hobbies, sports. We do have our own friends and interests though which hopefully will stop us getting under each other's feet!

FlippinNora1 · 30/12/2018 23:40

We can’t wait, we are planning on travelling the world together. It’s our lovely little dream we wallow in when things are crappy. Our retirement is a long way off though.

RollerJed · 30/12/2018 23:42

Ta1kinPeace you always give good advice on money, budgeting etc and I think you're an accountant? I'm surprised to read you think you won't be able to afford to retire.

Mossyhill · 30/12/2018 23:47

I can’t see us ever retiring (40 odd years away at the current age).

But yeah, I think being with him all the time would drive me mad. Although this is the first time we’ve ever had all of Xmas and new year off and we’ve had a wonderful time.

SerenDippitty · 30/12/2018 23:49

Not worried, we have lots of plans.

Whowouldathunkit · 30/12/2018 23:50

How lovely of you. Would you be happier if he was dead?

If not, stop being so miserable and get on with enjoying life.

YouTheCat · 30/12/2018 23:51

I wish we could retire now. I love every second I spend with dp. No specific plans, just love his company.

BackforGood · 30/12/2018 23:52

I think this will be split, depending of you are (both) people that have hobbies, interests etc.
I am looking forward to retiring, but we both do lots of things outside the home, and turn down other opportunities because we haven't got time whilst we are at work.
I don't think dh and I could spend 24/7 with each other, but that's not how I expect our retirement to be.

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