Gluten free not coeliac

[madcatladyforever]

I have catered for a gluten free family on the run up to new year, gluten free not because they have coliac disease but because they think they are gluten intolerant. It has cost me at least £100 more than my normal shop because all of that free from stuff is expensive and also cost me about 3 hours I don't have in supermarkets scrutinising labels.
Now I have a friend coming for 2 days, along with a whole lot of other people, who is gluten free and dairy free because some non medical quack told her these items should be banned from everybodys diet.
I'm an ex nurse and I'm really sick of all this faddy diet nonsense and I have told her that I cannot cater for special diets as there are too many people coming and please can she bring something she can eat to the buffet.
She has gone off in a major strop and won't talk to me.
AIBU?

No yanbu. I've got no time for faddy people. Those intolerance tests tell everyone to cut out all the gluten and dairy food groups it seems. She either brings her own or goes hungry doesn't come. And I speak as a lactose intolerant veggie who doesn't eat eggs. Nurse here too and these people take the piss.

Meh just give her oven chips or a baked potato.
I was dairy and soya free for a while due to my DC being intolerant and breastfed. It must have been a pita for our hosts at Christmas, but less inconvenient than the DC screaming and vomiting and crying all night

DS (2.5) is gluten intolerant. The paediatrician tested his bloods and they were negative for coeliac disease and refused to diagnose him with a gluten intolerance. The only time his symptoms flare up is after consuming something containing gluten.

I appreciate a GF diet is expensive, believe me, as does my DM who accommodated us for five days over Christmas. I was ridiculously grateful because it meant DS could enjoy Christmas eating the same thing as everyone else. I’m sure the family you catered for is grateful too.

I’m unsure whether you’re calling all intolerances faddy or just the next people arriving to stay with you? It sounds as though theirs is more of a preference, in which case I’d say you’re largely NBU. If you’re lumping actual intolerances in toI, then YABU.

Catering gluten free doesn't have to be really expensive. I can't see how it would cost you £100 extra unless you're literally not cooking yourself at all and buying replacement products.

The friend you are referring to is obviously suffering with their health, why else would they have spoken to a doctor?

DS is coeliac and people like your friend get my goat. It’s exhausting having to be really careful because it’s medically necessary. Give her a jacket potato and have done with it. If she was that bothered about GF a jacket potato will be fine.

YANBU, I'm sensitive to gluten but not coeliac but I definitely don't impose it on people.

I'm lucky that I'm not coeliac so the worst that will happen is IBS/constipation/gas.

YBVU

£100?! What on Earth have you been buying? I’m GF. Have been for years. I have IBS. Negative coeliac biopsy despite doing a 6 weeks gluten challenge. As soon as I cut out gluten I improve. But if I attend something I’d always offer to bring stuff with me. Even for a full buffet and cake and I wouldn’t expect to spend £100 though.

My stomach can’t handle Gluten, but Im not Coeliac. TBH if it’s that much of a big issue for your friend, she/he should be buying their own food x

What are you making for the rest of the guests? A lot of goods are naturally gluten free

Foods not goods!

No not medically necessary, I will happily cater for someone who has actual medical probelms but this person is always on some different faddy diet after reading something or talking to somebody and it really gets on my nerves.
I bought gluten free pasta, flour etc because the kids will only eat very limited things and I don't have time with running my business to make everything from scratch.
When I was vegan for 10 years I would always cater for myself and bring it to parties with me.

you can cater for gluten free without having to buy expensive stuff.

just have curry and rice or chilli or casserole or whatever - instead of pasta bake for dinner

cereals, porridge, eggs etc for brekkie

lunches can be salads, soups, crisps, hummus, crudites, cold meats, boiled eggs... anything really

desserts can be fruit salads, mouse, yoghurts, ice crema etc

sweet treats can be sweets, rice krispie cakes. that kind of thing.

ask them to bring their own gluten free bread biscuits etc

YABU. Food with gluten in it doesn't agree with me. It doesn't completely disable me like it does my coeliac friend, but it leaves me with a churning stomach and belching and farting constantly. I don't claim to be coeliac but gluten makes me feel ill and embarrassed so I avoid it. I don't ask people not to serve it to me because of precisely the sort of stuff that you're coming out with, which is hilarious given that no one would bat an eyelid if I said I only ate white meat or didn't like celery. I don't use the phrase "gluten intolerant" even though it is a precise description of how gluten affects me. I either eat round it or if I can't because it's something like pie I eat it and then spend two or three days feeling miserable and upset-stomachy. Not how I'd want people feeling after supper at mine for the sake of offering potatoes or rice instead, but there you go.

The non dairy stuff - why is that so hard? Chicken wings? Roasted vegetables and hummus? It's hard to cut out dairy permanently if you're used to cooking with it (I have no intention of giving it up) but it's not that hard to do one non dairy, non gluten meal.

Was it for several meals? There are loads of traditional foods that just are gluten free. Meat, veg, potatoes. Ice cream. Jelly. Cheese and grapes. Coffee. Guess it’s marginally harder for several meals, but salads, yogurt and fruit, eggs etc.

I kind of agree with you about faddy eaters though. Modern life and attitudes can be a pain!

YANBU and i say that as someone with a child who has a severe allergy to milk. We take safe foods, meals and snacks with us wherever we go, parties, relatives houses for dinner etc and would never expect anyone to cater for her dietary requirements
People doing the diets for faddy reasons annoy me as well i feel like it minimalises the issues these foods cause for people who are properly allergic.
The comment 'oh im lactose intolerant as well but if i eat small bits i'm fine' annoys the hell out of me because a tiny bit of contact with any form of milk in something as simple as a crisp or biscuit makes me child very unwell and usually leads to a hospital trip !

No, you’re not being unreasonable. I can’t eat gluten but would never strop at someone for asking me to bring something I could eat - I always offer to bring dishes to share that I know are fine for me. Tbh if someone was cooking a buffet I’d rather bring my own food because not everyone at the party is going to know and probably wouldn’t think about contaminating GF dishes totally accidentally.

I know people have said it’s not that expensive and that can be true, but it’s either expensive in money, or it’s expensive in time because you have to make things from scratch which isn’t always possible with a big party. I’m try to be aware of the imposition and your friend needs to be as well.

1. If it makes you ill it’s not a faddy lifestyle choice.
2. They should be happy to bring some if their own ‘free from’ stuff. I certainly would be.

A family member rolled their eyes at me recently when I said I react to gluten (not coeliac) but have another bowel disease. I was happy to tell her I chanced some dip and a piece of french stick which meant I had the shits between 2-5am that night. No doubt she also thinks it’s a faddy Choice 🙄

@00100001 cereals contain gluten!

You'd be surprised how many things do contain gluten.

I loved with someone who couldn’t tolerate gluten. But wasn’t a coeliac
It’s easy, why would you even try and cook something with rice or flour when you can make a curry and rice or meat potatoes and veg. And it is a real issue.

Ok both sides here
I have 1 child with severe allergies. It drives me INSANE when barbra doesn’t fancy something and is ‘intolerant like your little Jonny’
However, I’m not allergic to anything, but since my son has had a more restrictive diet I’ve changed mine so that cooking is more simple and he doesn’t feel so isolated, and now that has inadvertently given me massive intolerances to some foods- ie one meal is fine, many are not
So I would always say ‘Jonny is and list all the allergies, and I don’t really eat x y z as it upsets my stomach, what shall I bring to make it easier’
I don’t want to be forced into declining food someone has gone to effort of making, when it was difficult for them to cater and wouldn’t expect them to spend time and effort on it
Just say- thanks would you mind bringing x y z which are suitable for you- everyone brings something surely, so not an unusual request
Also as a note- nearly all ‘normal’ Not processed food is fine for coeliacs and GF stick with plain food and all will work- eg meat and veg / veg and dips / fruits and so on

Nope tell her to bring her own food- anyone with such a special requirement should expect that. If i had a coeliac round (not a ‘gluten intolerant’ I would probably ask them to bring own food as I wouldn’t want to make them Sick.

I’m so over these dietary fads and everyone who became gluten intolrerant overnight despite being fine until someone on the internet said so.

I'm someone else who doesn't get why gf was that much more expensive. DH is coeliac and we don't spend loads on food - potatoes and rice instead of bread and pasta, jelly and fruit salad instead of cake, and none of it costs any more.

I do try and accomodate people but I am catering for so many I really can't be doing different dishes for everyone.
Your last sentence brighteyeowl, that. And it was so last minute as well. If you have time ok but the day before, no.

@madcatladyforever people obviously haven't even bothered to read your OP