Gluten free not coeliac

[madcatladyforever]

I have catered for a gluten free family on the run up to new year, gluten free not because they have coliac disease but because they think they are gluten intolerant. It has cost me at least £100 more than my normal shop because all of that free from stuff is expensive and also cost me about 3 hours I don't have in supermarkets scrutinising labels.
Now I have a friend coming for 2 days, along with a whole lot of other people, who is gluten free and dairy free because some non medical quack told her these items should be banned from everybodys diet.
I'm an ex nurse and I'm really sick of all this faddy diet nonsense and I have told her that I cannot cater for special diets as there are too many people coming and please can she bring something she can eat to the buffet.
She has gone off in a major strop and won't talk to me.
AIBU?

I’m gluten intolerant and refuse to eat things that make me ill
However I would not expect anyone to cater especially for me
I don’t buy any free from type stuff anyway - I just don’t eat bread pastry biscuits cakes pasta most desserts or ready meals
I can always find something to eat on a buffet eg eggs, cheese salads etc
I eat fruit veg salad and dairy along with eggs meat fish and poultry

Thankfully I can eat chocolate and drink most things so am quite happy!

I can't have any gluten as I am quickly quite ill even with traces my mouth starts to tingle. The Dr said we could try again but would I do anything different and to be honest I wouldn't. In future I would try to steer clear of gluten substitutes and cook things naturally gluten free such as potatoes, rice etc.

Having said that I would generally prefer to bring my own unless I know that you are used to catering for a gluten free diet due to cross contamination risks.

I have serious chronic IBS and have a restricted diet because if it. My intolerances are not a minor bit of bloating. Before I was helped through the low fodmap diet by a dietician I was losing huge amounts of weight because I was in constant pain and regularly throwing up after meals. If I eat food I have an intolerance to I will end up bed bound for hours and experience sickness and pain for up to three days before my guts settle down again.

Food intolerances can be serious and debilitating and I am fed up of people acting like because I'm not celiac or likely to die from an allergic reaction. that means I'm just being a bother. There are many reasons why people need a restricted diet. If you don't feel able to manage people's need than maybe just don't cook for other people.

How have you spent so much? My child is dairy and gluten free and the cost isn't that different. For example for a roast dinner, I make the gravy from scratch with gluten free flour (double the price of regular flour but £2 rather than £1) , make stuffing with gluten free sausage meat (again £1-£2 more than regular?) and the pigs in blankets were made with gf sausages (£1-£2 more?)
The remainder of the gf flour can be used to bake a cake.

Personally I also just take my own food everywhere anyway as I am so blooming complicated. Usually if you just ask someone what they would like they will have an easy option or offer to bring their own.

Just because they aren’t coeliac doesn’t mean it’s a faddy diet.

My son is 3 and isn’t coeliac but has a gluten intolerance. Not diagnosed as they wanted us to put him on gluten for months first and we refused to do that.

He had never ever had a solid poop in his life until he was 2.5 years old when we cut out gluten and he went from diorhhea every day 5 times a day with waking during the night 5 times crying... to now he had 1 normal stool and never wakes in the night. He’s been like a changed child.

Gluten free food is very expensive but really not THAT expensive.

I am a coeliac and cannot understand how you spent £100 more than you usually would, that is insane. Yes, the free from items are more expensive but a) not that much more and b) there are plenty of items available which are naturally gluten free which are no more expensive.

brighteyeowl17 please inform yourself about the different types of bowel disease which can result in intolerances before you spout off such nonsense.

BiglyBadgers - exactly. I was going to write something about FODMAPS in reply to brighteyeowl.

It is possible to eat GF cheaply, but if the OP has already planned and purchased a buffet of sausage rolls, bread and cheese, crackers and quiche, suddenly switching to a curry or stew or providing gluten free alternatives is going to be expensive.

As a Coeliac faddy dieters deciding to cut out gluten for no proven medical reason are an absolute headache.

There are so many cafes and restaurants that list food as gluten-free but, it is not unusual to discover that they only mean for faddy dieters as it is cross-contaminated, i.e. cakes cut with the same knife as gluten cakes, fried in the same fryer with breaded items.

Personally I always carry snacks with me and take bread and other staples when visiting anyone as I am aware of the costs.

My SIL sent a hair sample off and now claims she cannot have dairy, tomatoes, gluten, soya and umpteen other things so I cook her food meeting her alleged needs, yet when we meet in a cafe she orders buttery flapjacks or puddings with a jug of cream! Drives me mad!! Let alone me attempting to explain that a hair sample only reflects what you have eaten falling on deaf ears because 'that's not what the test says'.

I would love to not have Coeliac's Disease but there are far worse things to have.

I cannot understand anyone thinking gluten-free is healthier- higher sugar, fat, salt and chemicals in most gluten-free foods. Let alone higher prices.

@MrsNai
Have you thought about the positives?
Like a huge amount of ranges of good for you in a normal supermarket?
And restaurants able to cater and understand

Chateau Coeliac ici with extensive FODMAP acres by order of NHS diagnosis, surgery & ongoing treatments. Not for moi, but nearest & dearests across several branches of family tree.

The amount of effort, label reading, double-checking, contamination avoiding etc is a pain in the arse for me BUT significantly worse arse-wise, medically perilous or uncomfortable for familials who must must must avoid gluten &/or benefit from low FODMAP scoff.

So we keep a gluten-free kitchen, cook from scratch, buy only guiltful GF foods at a hefty premium & take generous GF foods with us when guests, & will often pitch to prepare the GF stuff for every one to try.

It is thoughtful of OP to buy FreeFrom stuffs as it is over priced & some of it horrid. Many a Coeliac has their preferred breads, bikkies, beers gin etc & will bring their own. We have arranged a Tesco/Ocado delivery to ou hosts at times.

I say, anyone who must be GF will happily bring their own stuff & it is reasonable to ask them to do so.

TwllBach I read somewhere that blood tests for coeliac disease aren't that reliable in under 2s. It might be worth testing again when your DC is older (I know that would involve returning to a gluten diet so may not be practical).

YANBU. My gluten intolerant friends bring their own snacks etc - my coeliac family members we always try and provide for but almost always bring their own food as they know what tastes best!

Apile that’s really interesting, thank you. He reacted to a tiny smear of branston pickle (contains barley) the other day and he seems so sensitive to it. It’s worth bearing in mind as he gets older I suppose!

The increase in range is helpful but confusing restaurants, cafes and hotels with demanding gluten-free but not needing free from cross contamination jeopardises food safety for those with medical needs and renders Coeliac's as often considered just another faddy dieters.

YA mostly NBU.

DD2 is intolerant. If she eats conventional pasta or bread, the result is severe pain and diarrhoea. She can handle traces but we try to avoid.

So if we go to a friend's house for food we will brief them, and we will also bring our own safe food where substitutes are tricky. And we will absolutely bring GF baked goods for everyone to eat - with a bit of practice, you can bake GF things which are a fraction of the cost of bought, and ten times nicer. A bit of give and take on both sides works wonders.

I have no patience at all for faddy diets.

I am gluten intolerant, (tested negative for coeliac unsurprisingly as I failed couldn't bearto eat vast quantities of gluten for 6 weeks prior to blood test) but I would NEVER EVER expect someone to cater for my intolerance, ever. I take my own GF bits to eat. As an aside, you don't need to buy special GF stuff, I only eat special GF foods occasionally. Will just eat rice/potatoes/quinoa if rest of family are having something like couscous or pasta. I don't miss bread at all! GF bread is usually rank!!

My SIL is like this, first the 8 year old was gluten free, then he was dairy free, and when they last visited, sugar had been to the list in order to control his ADHD. She has taken all three out of her diet now as she has been unwell (still complaining though) along with the 12 year old daughter 'to be on the safe side'. She scrutinises every label and packet. None of them have an allergy - its a food choice.

I had to get DH to have a word after her DD told my 10 year old their grandad had died because he ate bread. Their grandad had a complicated heart condition and died of heart failure.

Next time don’t buy any of the free from stuff. I find coeliacs tend to have their own stuff they like as a lot (especially bread) as much of it tastes shite.

Next time do roast dinner (meat, potatoes, veg) and have pavlova for dessert - job done

There are pretty well evidenced diets for a number of conditions that include giving up gluten. I followed it for endometriosis (and yes I also gave up dairy and a number of other things). Might sound faddy and is certainly awkward but it had a huge impact on my life. From being constantly in pain, regularly hospitalised on morphine drips and spending at least a week a month doped up - not to mention frequently spending the night vomiting and annual surgery - I was virtually symptom free within a month.

It turns out that I am coeliac but I'm not sure that's relevant - cutting out certain food made my life enjoyable again. I have friends with crohns and other conditions who also avoid gluten. I'm not giving you my medical history just so you'll feed me.

As I know to my cost, coeliacs isn't that easily diagnosed and often before that you just know gluten is affecting you.

Just putting this out there...
I am wheat intolerant, due to an accidental cock during dishing up, I got given the wrong accompaniments. I haven't said anything as it wasn't deliberate but I had diarrhoea for 24 hours.

I don't expect to be fully catered for (for Xmas, I provided pigs in blankets, stuffing, bread sauce, gravy, xmas pud) but I do get a bit upset (but quietly and I don't strop) if I'm constantly left out. Is it really too difficult to say, there will be salad, dips, cold meat, cheese and I'll get some gluten free rolls and a gluten free cake. Your friend can then bring anything else she wants.

What really pisses me off is when I bring my own (usually homemade) free from items which everyone else wants to eat in preference to the gluten containing processed shop versions.

Do you happily cater for vegetarians/vegans/religious restrictions? If so, then these are surely equally valid dietary choices.

Me too littletabby not coeliac but have up gluten because of endometriosis and it changed my life!

OP for one I can’t see how you’ve spent £100 and who is this person that you have so much contempt for? Why are they coming to stay with you if you don’t like them?

Plenty of normal foods don't contain gluten eg potatoes, rice, vegetables, cheese and meat! Rather than buying free from prepared foods simply ensure you serve foods that never contained it in the first place eg salad, a rice dish and cooked meats. If guests want bread etc it's quite reasonable to ask them to bring some with them.

I've just had to deal with a vegan and it's a pain, but managed to avoid most additional costs by thinking through menus.