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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would go to this wedding

36 replies

GreyBlanket · 30/12/2018 17:01

I have NC

If your Dads ex-wife was re marrying. Would you go to the wedding?

Im unsure if it is right to go or not, even though we are invited.

OP posts:
malmi · 30/12/2018 17:01

That would be my mum so yes.

OohBabyBabeh · 30/12/2018 17:02

Depends on the relationship you have with her surely ? Is it good? Do you still talk occasionally? If no then no...

Jackshouse · 30/12/2018 17:02

Are you close to the ex wife?

malmi · 30/12/2018 17:03

Sorry for the useless answer but the point is, it completely depends on the relationship you have with her and whatever history has gone on

Original poster
GreyBlanket · 30/12/2018 17:05

Its his second wife so not my mum.

Would the new man really want his new wifes ex husbands kids there though?

It is good my half sisters are there when we visit, But only see them all occasionally maybe a few times a year.

OP posts:
BroomstickOfLove · 30/12/2018 17:09

I count my stepmum as one of my parents, so when she remarried I didn't even consider not going to the wedding. But I suppose it depends on how close you are.

FoxFoxSierra · 30/12/2018 17:10

I wouldn't go but then my ex stepmother is a cunt

JaiNotJay · 30/12/2018 17:12

If you are invited she obviously wants you there. If you like her and get on well, go.

Pluckedpencil · 30/12/2018 17:18

Did you live in the same house together? She must consider you part of her family to invite you. If you like her, then go!

PicaK · 30/12/2018 17:25

Is it your (half) sister's mum? If so I would go. But then I like weddings! Or I'd send a very nice decline and present. Your dad introduced her into your life and you accepted her so I wouldn't feel guilty or disloyal. She will also be your neice's/nephew's grandma in future.

Whataboutbobbo · 30/12/2018 17:29

No

IAmMumWho · 30/12/2018 17:35

Was she good to you while she was married to your dad? Was you nice to her? Treat her as a mum n daughter or was she the evil stepmum from Cinderella?

If you feel you have a good relationship with her AFTER her divorce from your dad I don't see it a problem. But only you can decide if you want to go.

She clearly wants you there otherwise she wouldn't have invited you.

💐

WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 30/12/2018 17:36

I would go, families aren’t always straightforward, but they are still family. She is your sister’s mother, I would totally go.

Dollymixture22 · 30/12/2018 17:37

It’s lovely that she invited you. Clearly she thinks of you as part of her family, regardless of her marriage.

If I had a good relationship with her then I would go. Your half sisters are getting a new step dad, so I would go to be part of that.

ShalomJackie · 30/12/2018 17:38

If the ex wife is the mother of your half sibling and was a nice stepmum to you when she was married to your dad then why not? she still thinks as you as her DSD

AWishForWingsThatWork · 30/12/2018 17:38

Like everything else in life, it depends.

If you have a nice relationship with her, go if you want to. Wish her well.

If you don't, don't.

It's not really that hard. And if your dad gets cross, that's his problem. He brought her into your life in the first place. He should be happy if you have a good relationship ... surely that was the goal originally?

brownmoose · 30/12/2018 17:38

Nope. I would send a card explaining why.

Ngaio2 · 30/12/2018 17:39

Disregard the relationship in law and consider the emotional relationship. If you like her and intend to continue to have a relationship of sorts with her and your step/half siblings then do attend the wedding. A refusal would seem like a rebuff and she obviously thinks enough of you to want your presence

bridgetreilly · 30/12/2018 17:41

If you care about her, and want to stay part of her life, even though she's no longer married to your dad, then yes, go so long as your dad is okay with that. She's obviously been an important part of your life and cares enough to invite you.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 30/12/2018 20:17

If you have sisters who she is mother to then she’s always going to be in your life. Go if you are invited and want to go. Why wouldn’t you?

greendale17 · 30/12/2018 20:19

No

Original poster
GreyBlanket · 30/12/2018 23:18

Thank you everyone for your responses.
Still mixed.
Ee get on with her. He doesnt like us so much.. That is the only thing putting me off as hes questions why she still speaks to us.

OP posts:
Linning · 30/12/2018 23:37

Would she be really happy to have you there? If so I would probably go (considering you like her)

My mum got married last year and I didn't go but if my stepdad (her ex) was getting married I would definitely go to the wedding as we get along very well and he is like a father to me. It genuinely depends how the two of you get along and what she means to you.

mindutopia · 30/12/2018 23:52

Depends how close you are to her. I am still close with my dad’s ex from when I was younger. My dad died when I was 18, but they were together from probably when I was 10-17. That was 20 years ago now! We no longer live close but if she invited me, I’d do my best.

PissOffPeppa · 30/12/2018 23:55

If it was my dad’s second wife I would. We’re still in touch, I visit when I’m in the area and she’s the mother of my half-sisters.

If you’re invited, I’ll assume both want you there (or at least one wants you there and the other is perfectly happy for you to be)