Why is a trip to the walk-in centre a family outing?

[freeAnneBoleyn]

For some?

I went yesterday. Looked full to bursting when I came in, not a single free chair. Looked to be a lot of families with one sick/injured member, with both parents and other children in attendance. Why? If you have two parents why in God’s name would you drag your other child to sit amongst lurgy ridden patients for four hours and have to worry about keeping them amused as well?!

I eventually got a chair when someone else got called up- I had a fractured shoulder it turned out so not desperately ill obviously but still in pain and was anticipating, correctly as it turned out, a very very long wait.

Worst was family of five opposite- one feverish looking child asleep on mum’s lap, two older children and a dad. He’d brought sweets and sandwiches for everyone but the kids were bored shitless which led to the inevitable handing over of a phone to mess around on with the horrible pingy sounds of the game they played audible to everyone. Another toddler was left to just roam about, and started running up and down.

It made for an even more unpleasant waiting experience for people who are in pain and sick, exposing healthy children to germs, and bloody boring for them too.

I am NOT judging any parent that had no choice to bring other children along, but if there are two of you...why do it??

I said up thread that I don’t care if you bring your entire family but I’d like to know, where do they sit?

Always baffled when a labouring woman turns up with the whole family in tow. At our trust only 2 in a labour room for various reasons one of main ones on safety in case of emergency can't have 5 rellies in the room too taking up space. Triage is the best one though as you often get multiple relatives trooping in with them telling you when the contractions started how long they are lasting if they've had a show also if the waters have broken. Its as if the woman can't speak for herself. It drives me nuts but you just have to keep smiling. I'm sometimes tempted to say wow you said all that without moving your lips.

noise cancelling earphones and mind your business

I may have heard it all now. How many people going to hospital due to serious injury and illness are likely to have noise cancelling headphones stashed in their pockets or handbags?

If I have ever had anything that means a visit to A&E I have either been very ill or in a lot of pain. Personally the last thing I would want is lots of relatives there asking how I am. I can imagine it is only okay for the actual patient, if what they have went for is fairly minor.

And I have noticed that the latest thing extremely rude and inconsiderate people say is that anyone annoyed by their behaviour should wear headphones. Instead of actually addressing their bad behaviour.

As far as I can tell, only one of these accounts by posters (personal accounts that is, not things they have witnessed) matches what OP was getting at.

12 people (5 women, 7 children) supporting their mom/gran (so 13 people including the patient).

Is that right? It seems a lot of people are feeling defensive when OP wasn’t talking about them.

Seems to be different where I am, most people keep support people numbers to a minimum not out of consideration for anyone else but to avoid unnecessary exposure to other people’s germs!

I asked my sister who is a doctor about supporters. I think the view of health workers needs to be heard since excessive “support people” surely creates extra work, decreasing the standard of care they can provide for the patients?

I’m having visions of “Mrs Jones, Mrs JONES!” being called while poor Mrs Jones is on her knees with toys desperately trying to keep her four restive kids away from any patients (since they may well have infectious diseases, no?) unable to hear due to the hideous ear infection she came in for.

While the ever supportive “Mr Jones” in his new Bose headphones is busy taking selfies for his FB update “takin lil wifey to doctor.. hahaha lol wot ya gotta do hey boyzz innaya innit..”

By the time the nurse locates Mrs Jones they could have had two patients in and out!

It is just a general abuse of the NHS though. How can you possibly keep a hospital clean with so many people around. I think hospitals should charge 50p and sell those plastic overshoes that the forensic people wear and make everyone wear them.

We have a family of 5. I don't drive. I plan to learn but at the moment we cannot afford it (I tried years ago but 6 months of lessons only got me crawling along back roads so I know it will cost a bit).

We don't have walk in centres but on some occasions we have taken the whole family to the GP. For example I had a standard appointment a couple of weeks ago. Irregular busses that would not get me there in time. Drive from home one way is 5 mins. DH took me with 3 children (inc newborn) in the back of car. He had a choice 1) sit and wait in car which would have resulted in older 2 fighting from boredom (they hate the car) or 2) take them home but 5 mins there and back is 10 mins (same amount of time as my appointment), so he wouldn't even have time to unload the children, nor would he if he went anywhere else. Easiest for him to come in and wait. Children impeccably behaved with a combination of toys in waiting room and pre packed bag of colouring things. There were louder adults in the waiting room.

My children have a lot of hospital appointments and on a general basis I try not to take everyone. Some of the appointments though I am only allowed to take in the patient so extra children need supervising outside. DH can't always get the time off so I ask my mum to help who will wait in waiting room with toddler for example. She's not up to looking after toddler on her own at her house which would be for 3 or so hours due to busses and waiting etc vs 15 mins in the waiting room. So yes we all go together but toddler is busy playing with mass of toys and is behaving.

As for supermarkets, I have tried sending DH on his own. He comes back with stuff we don't need and can't afford or stuff that's wrong (eg waterproof plasters when I've said not waterproof). I'm not talking extravagant stuff but things that most people consider basics. He's not stupid and he's incredibly helpful but shopping on a budget is not his forte. Our budget is very tight and increasing our income is planned for this year but for now I need to be the one to do the shopping. Again, Aldi is 10/15 mins drive from home so by the time I've done shopping it would be time for DH to come back. It would be pointless and painful for him to get them out the car for 30 seconds and then straight back in again. So we take them in - toddler and baby in trolly (baby sleeps, toddler reads books, plays with bubble wrap etc) and eldest helps with shopping and has her own list that she enjoys crossing off. No drama and no shouting children. Oldest 2 know it would be straight to the car if there was any drama.

Where ever we go, if it's all of us we are organised. Changing bag for baby and backpack of other necessities inclusive of many toys, books, colouring things and snacks. Bags are permanently packed for emergency situations too. It might not be ideal but often people have their reasons. Whilst yes sometimes you do get loud noisy families not all people are like that and sometimes people have reasons. We're not trying to inconvenience you. In fact where ever we go, right in the forefront of my mind is how to minimise disruption.

Please sign my petition!!

Q: how many supporters is best?

A: however many the patient needs not wants (key distinction)

NB: it is the patient’s needs not the supporters that matter. Yes, 9 assorted relatives may well “need to know Aunt Betsy will be okay;” meanwhile Aunt Betsy would prefer them all, bar her niece Susan, to bugger off home.

As this thread has shown, some patients do
need more support than others so while “one adult supporter” may often be enough, in many cases it may not.

Sometimes there may seem to be more supporters than needed. For example: a patient with a minor injury bringing 5 adult supporters.

Female patient, 93, suspected lower leg fracture, supported by:

• oldest daughter, 70 (key emotional support, also best able to communicate with and for Gran who is hearing impaired)
• youngest son (56) (across the health insurance details etc) and together with grandson (26) can assist Gran moving about
• two granddaughters (20s), to assist Gran in the bathroom, Mom is there too but doesn’t have the body strength.

Oops posted to soon. Five supporters in this case seem fine. Any less and orderlies or nurses would have had to assist Gran, taking away from medical work.

I don't mind people being there with partners and children- I can see how that might be unavoidable. But people seem to come along accompanied by more than one adult family member, kids, Uncle Tom Cobbley and all at times and it really does seem like they've come out for a family day trip.

I've also had it once at DD2's party when we had a whole class party. Someone's granny tucking into the food before the kids.

OP not sure if you’ll see this but do you agree with my five supporters? Interesting thread!

@petmad that all seems perfectly reasonable

I agree with PP, KidsI think everyone agrees that kids are

Oops *kids are fine if you need to take them.

Er.....Qwerty I wasn’t sure if you were being tongue in cheek.

Of course that situation doesn’t require five ‘supporters’

I completely get what you mean but I’m afraid we were one of those families. Our 2 yr old had pneominia (we have 5 kids). I arrived to hospital with sin in ambulance, dh followed with baby! I’d have preferred him to stay home for baby’s sake, but I do understand why he wanted to be there also. I’d hate to stay at home with baby whikst dh in hospital with really sick ds.
The other 3 kids are 16 and above so stayed home.
It really annoys me though when you see the whole family running around laughing etc and you can’t actually tell which member is needing accident and emergency.

I think Qwerty was saying that it is patients needs that are important and that a patient may need more than one adult for the different needs. Most people won't but some vulnerable people will and if you start having fixed rules about only one adult per patient it means that some people don't get adequate access to healthcare.
My son really needs 3 adults with him.
Two to deal with him personally and one to communicate to staff for him and to be able to listen to what is said. In reality he usually has only two and as a result his access to healthcare is not as good as most people's. It would have to be life or death before I would take him to an appointment on my own.

One reason is when only one parent can drive especially if it is dad as mum will want to be there for their sick/injured child too.

I'm a single mum now so would have to take my children with me but back when I wasn't I had my very Ill 8 year old to a&e and was made to sit with him on the floor in the waiting room with him on my lap. The children's section of a&e only has about 15 chairs max and all were being used up by families with one child.

We tag teamed as both kids broke bones playing sport over the summer and we live next to hospital so dh sat with child then we swapped due to boredom / other stuff to do. Can’t imagine both sitting there like lemons why would you want to hardly a pleasant environment

I agree with not taking a whole family to A&E. I have friends with very young children. To save their own sanity, wherever possible (Dr etc) one adult takes 1child while the other stays with the 2 others at home (or in the car park if shopping trip so they can help load shopping).

QwertyLou I think you've missed a few off your list ....

• the grandchild who can pop to the vending machine for cups of tea for everyone (plus another grandchild to help them carry them)
• a friend to update the patient's WI group
• a neighbour who is waiting to see if the patient needs her to pop in and feed the cat

.... the list is endless (the seating and space available in A&E, Minor Injuries or Walk-in Centre is not however)

Omg the poster bringing 13 people for her mum’s bleeding face - unbelievable!! Were you and your sisters not embarrassed!? You have phones for crying out loud, why do they need to be told “in person” that your mum was ok??!? She was hardly going to die from a scratched face, regardless of her calcium and iron levels

Jesus wept

And to be fair, it sounds like you created the drama in the first place by messaging the group chat in a panic. I’m guessing you over exaggerated how serious it was

I've been to walk in clinic with DS (head injury after walking in to a window - soaked in blood) to find it full with two extended families except.... they all leapt up, offered seats, tea for me, chocolate for my son and were generally lovely and very kind.

NothingOnTelly that's not what she meant and you know it but yeah, MNeters can be assholes, particularly when they are gaslighting others for providing a salient point.

Take a seat.