Why is a trip to the walk-in centre a family outing?

[freeAnneBoleyn]

For some?

I went yesterday. Looked full to bursting when I came in, not a single free chair. Looked to be a lot of families with one sick/injured member, with both parents and other children in attendance. Why? If you have two parents why in God’s name would you drag your other child to sit amongst lurgy ridden patients for four hours and have to worry about keeping them amused as well?!

I eventually got a chair when someone else got called up- I had a fractured shoulder it turned out so not desperately ill obviously but still in pain and was anticipating, correctly as it turned out, a very very long wait.

Worst was family of five opposite- one feverish looking child asleep on mum’s lap, two older children and a dad. He’d brought sweets and sandwiches for everyone but the kids were bored shitless which led to the inevitable handing over of a phone to mess around on with the horrible pingy sounds of the game they played audible to everyone. Another toddler was left to just roam about, and started running up and down.

It made for an even more unpleasant waiting experience for people who are in pain and sick, exposing healthy children to germs, and bloody boring for them too.

I am NOT judging any parent that had no choice to bring other children along, but if there are two of you...why do it??

not everybody is able to get child care at a moments notice i have 3 kids and had to take them everywhere to all appointements etc my hubby is a hardworking man ( hgv driver ) retired now so he couldnt get of work at a moments notice luckily i very rarely had to go to a walk in centre or hospital that said my kids where always well behaved but i can understand where youre coming from. didnt feel comfortable leaving with neighbours either majority all of them working so that was not an option either.

@Gingerivy so what is the justifiable reason for a PP who had 13 people in a waiting room over a scraped face?

@petmad I think it's unanimous that if there's no one to look after your kids then of course the only option is to bring them along. But if your DH was available and your other children aren't newborns etc, you wouldn't drag them all along would you? I was in a similar situation in the summer holidays, my son broke his elbow and we had various hospitals trips and appointments. When my DH was working I had to take DD with me, we have no childcare on hand. What I didn't do was bring aunties, grannies, the neighbours, her teacher and half my colleagues like some people seem to!

Whether people do or don't isn't really the crux here, it's the behaviour once at the centre or supermarket that is the problem. If all behaved in a reasonable manner, considered others and yes I mean children too, no-one would notice how many folk were there. It's the usual me, me, me scenario again.

The ones that make me laugh are 17/18 yo in the walk in who bring their girlfriend or boyfriend AND their mother/Nan/sister/brother. I regularly work in a walk in centre and one (hugely sexist thing coming up) noticeable thing is that a lot of men bring Their mother/girlfriend/wife along to do all the talking. ‘He’s hurt his hand at work’ says the woman whilst man holds hand out. This only happens in reverse (man speaking for a woman) when the patient is elderly. Women do not bring their husbands along to talk to doctors and nurses for them

Gunpowder "justifiable reason"?? I don't have a clue. Not my business. I don't worry about it.

But if your DH was available and your other children aren't newborns etc, you wouldn't drag them all along would you?

Yes, actually when I was married, even if my DH was home, I took both children. They are autistic. DH had an alcohol problem and mental health problems, so leaving them with him wasn't an option. He was also controlling and sometimes insisted on coming along.

Of course, you wouldn't know that, seeing us in the waiting room, as you don't know me. Perhaps we should be required to wear a placard with our "justifiable reason" so you can determine if we have a right to be there? Or you could mind your business.

FYI nobody minds children, it’s usually obvious no brainier if it’s mum and Dad staying together or just that the DC are small. But it’s very common for people to bring teenage children along, grandparents and friends and then not get up and move when visibly unwell people come to the department. I see it with my own eyes! There is a sign saying please keep visitors to a minimum and we send larger families to a specific children’s area that has toys and more space for the DC. We can’t exactly start sending large groups if adults to the play area although I may start 😂

@Gingerivy I think you're taking all these comments far too personally as that question wasn't even aimed at you but another poster! No one is upset at you looking after your autistic children, despite this being very clear you're arguing as if its the opposite.

You're saying every situation will have a reason behind it - as an impartial person do you believe it was fair for that other person to bring 13 people to a walk in appointment, taking up room and making things difficult for everyone? Is the reason that poster gave for 13 people being there justifiable for the disruption it will cause?

And yes when you're affecting others adversely there absolutely does have to be a justifiable reason.

Not really taking it personally, but merely pointing out that you do not have any idea what other families are going through, what their situation is, why they are bringing more people with them. Admittedly, 13 people is not ideal, but don't be so ridiculous - you keep banging on about "13 people" blah blah…while some are complaining just about the other parent and another child! I find it hard to believe that there are tons of people that regularly drag a "13 person" posse with them to the waiting room of an OOH or A&E. Frankly, I think that when people are in the waiting room and feeling poorly, they tend to be in a less than optimum mood for dealing with others, and that is likely to be creating a lot of harsh judgey feelings towards others.

As far as disruption is concerned, my two children can often cause quite a bit of disruption, even when they are the patient, as they do not cope well with waiting rooms (which is why we're usually outside waiting room in the hallway instead or in a separate room). But sometimes when you need to go to OOH or A&E, the situation is not always ideal.

i get that i wouldnt bring every tom dick and harry relative wise but i had to bring my other children with me as hubby was working not ideal but had no choice i couldnt even ask my own parents for help as id get told their youre children you look after them. when i had my coil put in after the birth of my second child i had to bring them along as the other was too young for nursery so had a room full when its was put in but hey you do it i could have asked a nurse to watch them but thats not their job im their mum. but that said my kids have grown up to be healthy young adults despite having to be dragged to appointements.

I find it hard to believe that there are tons of people that regularly drag a "13 person" posse with them to the waiting room of an OOH or A&E

As someone who until very recently worked in the NHS and this environment I can assure you it's not that uncommon. People adore the drama of emergencies.

And as I said earlier a lot of the "extra parent and child" scenarios are hapless men who find it easier to bring kids along than have to entertain them at home alone. Sad but true.

I really don't think anyone has said extra children shouldn't come along when they need to, but you can't blame people for being baffled when extra people and extra children who DON'T need to be there (such as pregnancy scans) rock up and take up room

I'm sure there are possibly people who do it with an alternative but I honestly can't understand why you would. What you don't know however is the circumstances.

I have a disability. I cannot deal with medical stuff alone. I am married but we have only a couple of people we could call on to babysit and one of them is too far away to be called on in an emergency.

If I was injured and our local babysitter was unavailable we'd all have to go and be "one of those families" Looking at me in a waiting room you'd have no idea that I've never been unaccompanied to medical appointments in years because I simply can't cope.

Spent time waiting to be seen in A & E recently. Group of people came in, girl of about 20 who was the 'patient, with both her parents and grandmother, plus her older sister and two friends and patients boyfriend. A real family outing! And they all kept popping out for a smoke. She didn't look that ill to me. She waited 3 hours to be seen and then got sent round to med occ for another few hours wait. Dr's surgeries were still open when she got there so really she should have gone there really. Took up a lot of the chairs in A & E from sickly patients who had to stand.

And as I said earlier a lot of the "extra parent and child" scenarios are hapless men who find it easier to bring kids along than have to entertain them at home alone. Sad but true.
yes I believe you. Which is shit for everyone else except the dad.

I can beat that. DS broke his arm a few months ago so I took him to A&E (on my own!). There was a poorly toddler there with not only mum & dad but also grandparents and an uncle, all chipping in to make sure the staff knew X,Y & Z ! I can only think he was a very pfb and they all worshipped him as A&E on a weekend is literally the last place I would ever want to be for a family outing. It was very crowded and they didn’t need five adults for one child.

You'll be the first to judge why it's only mums not dads at the hospital...you'll judge why they're both there...you'll judge why the whole family is there (some families are united in that way) ....noise cancelling earphones and mind your business.

you'll judge why the whole family is there (some families are united in that way)

'United' doesn't mean 'literally joined at the hip' surely? I understand why relatives would want to know how the ill/injured person is, we've all been in that horrible nail-biting wait for updates, but you don't need 10 people in the waiting room to do that.

YY you can be united and not actually hovering round them all the time.

Also, it's not a 100 acre green, waiting rooms are small spaces and turning up in droves is not a god given right because "we're united". Have some respect for other people.

United? Get a fucking grip. A family outing to the walk-in doesn’t demonstrate unity. It demonstrates, unless it cannot be avoided, a ridiculous show of NHS related drama and tourism.

Why should poorly people with banging heads wear noise cancelling headphones because the feckless drama llamas can’t get their arms around the fact that a trip to the NHS isn’t like a day out at Legoland.

It’s not ‘united’ - it just adds to the stress for everyone else when there isn’t enough room to sit with a poorly child or severed finger or bad burn because it has turned into a bloody village event. The times I’ve been in A&E have been shite, and I’ve had support from close family texting whilst I’m there to ask for updates, but they don’t need to be there mithering away next to me. There was a girl who clearly had been injured badly (think broken leg) on one occasion and I felt sorry for her mum as all the teenage friends had turned up and were sat frantically texting, going out for ciggies and on social media etc. It just makes it worse all round, especially if you’re desperately anxious.

Astounds me that the people being quiet and not flouting the rules have been told to wear noise cancelling headphones.

When in god’s name did it become the norm for people to get so bloody entitled and just do what the hell they want?!

Had this is in the cinema last night (one of the expensive cinemas too, central London, screening The Favourite. Bloke a few people along had his phone out, Facebook messenger. All I could focus on was the bloody glare of that screen. I told him to please put it away, which he did begrudgingly, after much huffing and puffing, but then him and his girlfriend got up, got their things and barged past everyone to get out, with the woman hissing ‘that was an emergency phone call you bitch!’ at me. Bollocks was it.

How am I the wrong party in that situation?!! Twats.

so you’re telling me that I should be fine sitting there with a painful fractured shoulder, for four hours, being irritated by noisy bored kids opposite who do not need to be in the vicinity, and a bloke taking up a chair for no good reason, moaning about the wait or people he thought were getting seen too quickly when they’d been there ages, fucking phone noises pinging away, and that I should just ^suck it up and wear noise cancelling headphones’?!!

No. Just maybe try not being a selfish twat, and we’d all be happier.

If you wear noise cancelling headphones can you still hear your name being called....?

The problem with having 10 relatives is that it can make assessing a patient quite difficult.

‘Helpful’ comments based on something they read on Facebook last week, anecdotes about Great Aunt Marjorie’s cousins heart attack and how once their uncle’s cousin’s grandparent’s dog’s friend had a cough 3 years ago. Just let us talk to the patient. Gah....

If you wear noise cancelling headphones can you still hear your name being called....?
No, and it’s very irritating as a member of staff having to bellow people’s names before you realise it’s the numpty with headphones on 🙄