To aak if you want your ds to turn out like your DH?

[lizzlebizzle33]

DH and I have 2 ds, age 2 and 1, it's been a very tough few years and I think we have drifted apart.
I really want to make it work because I do love him but he can be so horrible (during an argument( he is lazy around the house, short tempered. Forgetful and often selfish.

It occurred to me the other day that I do not want our kids to turn out like him, but that then led me to thinking what that means. Do I even love him if I don't want my sons to be like him? Surely boys should look up to their father.

It's made me question a lot of things. Have any of you ever felt like this? Am I normal?

I've always thought that you shouldn't have children with someone unless you would be proud of your children if they turned out just like him. That doesn't mean you want them to copy every characteristic, but overall the good should outweigh the bad.

I would live my youngest son to be just like my husband when he grows up , perhaps with a little more confidence though.

My eldest son however , I would be gutted if he grew up to be like his dad (exh). Exh is lazy , verbally abusive, and he hates women.

Yes and no and the same with me too. All people have good and bad sides and I hope my children inherit the good from us and discard the bad.

I'd love my ds to grow up like his dad. Kind, stable relationships/friendships, good to his mum, intelligent and good looking.
Not sure there are many things I'd like him to inherit off me though, which is a bit depressing!

I would love my DS5 to turn out like his dad - funny, patient, kind. My older son reminds me of my Exh in a lot of his mannerisms, which is a shame as he can be extremely irritating!

No. No. No. No.

Did i say no?

Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes. Of course there are things that irritate me about DH but he is kind, generous, hard working, funny, a fabulous husband and parent. I’d be thrilled if my ds is the same.

Yes, definitely, that’s why I had dc with him. I don’t think it’s normal to feel otherwise, but having small children especially close together is hella rough. It’s a matter of whether this is a rough patch or you truly just don’t like him.

That said, I really hope my dd doesn’t turn out as uptight and neurotic as me...

Yes, dh has loads of great attributes and is a really good strong but gentle man. I really hope Ds does identify with him and inherits a lot of his traits.

It's a big fat NO from me

My DH is similar to his father in many ways which is fantastic. I’d be happy if both my
Sons were like DH or FIL. I’d think they were extremely lucky.

There are qualities I wish our kids would get from my partner. But there are qualities I wish they wouldn't have. Similarly, there are qualities I wish they got from me but some I really wish they won't have.

Not at all, hence why I’m divorced. Thankfully at 15 there’s no vestige of his dad in him

God no.

I don’t want my DDs to end up with someone like their father either.

Misogynistic, lazy, narcissistic cheating wanker.

Yes. My husband is exactly what I want my son to be like (maybe a little more ambitious!). He is a great role model and I hope my son filllws suit and is a daddy boy not like his daft mum!

I would love DS to turn out like DH in many ways - his generosity, kindness, intelligence, affection, feminism. I would hope however he develops a bit more cynicism however, as DH has a rather frustrating way of thinking the best of everyone regardless of what had happened previously, and accepting poor service because he hates confrontation.

DS has demonstrated his maturity and thoughtfulness, and is extremely well trained in cooking, laundry and ironing like his dad, so i have high hopes!

I want DS to be 100% like his dad. My DH is lovely, kind , generous and the nicest person I know.

They will learn how to treat the women they love from watching how they saw their Mum being treated.

It doesn't sound good enough to me.

Maybe 2019 is the year you change it around? Try contacting Relate for some sessions.

Overall yes, he's loyal, moral, kind, generous, hard-working, funny, clever, non-chauvanistic and caring. He has his faults too (and so do I) but they are far outweighed by the good stuff.
Our son is bloody lazy, rude, opinionated, self absorbed and irresponsible - he is a teenager though lol, so goes with the territory! I can only hope he gets more like his dad in due course.

Yes if I had a son then I would want him to be like my fiance. He's a fantastic lovely man.

If you wouldn't want your kid to be like his dad then you have a problem in your relationship

Yes, less sweary at sports but otherwise just like him.

I'd like him to be tidier than DH but other than that, yes.

Yes, I would be so happy and proud if our two were like DH as adults.

Yeah but a bit less iPhone addicted . Seriously though, I would be happy for DS to end up like Dh as he is kind, funny, respectful, and super-smart.

But............ could be tidier, less of a worrier and not mutter so much.

DH would say he hope DD had my drive and self-belief but would be less noisy

We're none of us perfect.

My kids have a step-dad now. It's him is love them to turn out like. He's amazing and lovely.