AIBU to ask if there is anybody else on this board who wants to dress better?

[ConfusedWife1234]

It is my New Years resolution because I am really, really unhappy with my style but not sure yet how to change it.

Actually a woman I know has told me that when we first met she thought I was desperately poor because of the way I dressed. I am actually not... I hope nobody takes offense... I think that there are many, many worthy and valuable people among the poor but I am actually not poor and think it is odd I look like this... and yes I think I do.

I have the odd habit of wearing things until they fall apart. New Years Resolution is to throw them away (donating clothes actually cause much harm in Africa because donated clothes are cheaper than the ones the local tailors produce. So I decided not to donate clothes to charity anymore).

What were you wearing to make you look ‘desperately poor’.

The charity thing is very strange imo. Causes harm in Africa? Do you live in Africa?charities in England take clothes.

Why can't you donate to a charity shop instead? That way they can sell them in the UK and no harm to Africa?

Anyway, back to op, yes I would like to learn to dress better! I wear stuff until it falls apart and then I will sow it back up and keep wearing it until it is really dead. My problem is not that I fix things etc, it is that I have too many cheap clothes. I want to invest in some well made pieces and get rid of all the primark leggings etc

I also want to seperate the clothes I wear to work and what I wear at home.

I'm sure if you ask for some help in Style & Beauty www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty they'll be happy to give you some good ideas.

If your clothes are not falling apart then give them to charity shops as they sell them in the UK and raise money to support all kinds of charities. They don’t send the clothes to Africa. Re. not wanting to look poor, then just go to a shopping centre and try on some new clothes. Look in magazines to get some ideas of what you think looks nice. If you have money, you could go to a department store and book a personal shopper. Put aside a day and try on things you wouldn’t normally consider, maybe bring a friend. You might even enjoy it!

@littlechocola The day I met her. Not sure... but I do think red corduroys that have been mended (like I said I have the habit of wearing things until they fall apart), fairisle pullover and wellies and I think my ugly brown jack Wolfskin jacket. I do hate this jacket, but cannot find a good replacement which has the same quality... apart from another allweather jacket that looks just as ugly.

I often wear corduroys when it is to cold for dresses because I am not sure what else to wear. I do not like anything slim fit because I like it comfortable (also I do have ugly legs).

Same here, I hate the way I dress but I mainly wear skirts and can not stand wearing jeans or trousers so have no idea where to start. I know mine is connected to bring over weight which I need to work on too.

I did read that if you want to change your style you have to try on things that you wouldn’t usually choose and you’ll be surprised by what suits you but I’m sure I still wouldn’t buy those things

I live in Germany and charity shops over here often ship used clothes to Africa and it actually cause much harm. Only the high quality used clothes are sold in Germany... but that is only 10 percent. The rest cannot be sold in a ric/ country like this.
Are you sure that is different in the UK?
However I decided to just throw them away.

Who wears corduroys?! Wear jeans!

Like I said. I do not like slim jeans... and not sure... but I think boot cut or relaxed fit jeans look like you are desperately poor too.

If you don't want to donate to charity, can you make use out of the materials you have before throwing them away? Cleaning cloths, for instance, or if you have somebody handy with a sewing machine, cord is a nice texture for baby sensory items.

I think that there are many, many worthy and valuable people among the poor

Kibbe body styles might that help, there’s a series of You Tube videos that you can follow to find your body style and then how to dress to suit it.

Boot cut jeans make u look poor ??? You have a very weird outlook on clothes and almost an obsession with not looking poor .. very odd

There's loads of people, enough for a whole Style and Beauty topic.

If you post in there, with some indication of your budget, what clothes you need to buy (a whole wardrobe?) and other stipulations - ethically made, preferred colours and fabrics, kind of 'look' you like, then there will usually be heaps of advice.

There have been a couple off massive threads about how to look 'expensive'. Two consistent pieces of advice are good haircut and good bra.

I'm in the UK and I was fairly sure that donated clothes would stay in charity shops, though I don't know about Germany.
In regards to what you were wearing when she said you looked poor, I think that over here, it would be assumed that you were quite middle class but maybe that's just me.

Me! I feel like I've been pregnant or breastfeeding since winter 2014 and can't wait to dress better. My clothes are all primark or new look but once I stop feeding this one I'm going to take a leaf out of my husbands book. He has 2 good pairs of jeans, a few good tshirts and 3 good "going out" shirts. I'm going to start going quality and have fewer nicer items rather then loads of less quality stuff

@Spikyhedgehog Well... I am upper middle class, live in a upper middle class neighborhood, my son will attend a good school soon... of course I want to fit in and not look desperately poor... by poor I mean look like a homeless person... wear ill fitting and out of style clothing.

If you wear clothes until they fall apart and they are very old why don't you just bin them?

I'm all for reducing waste but we aren't talking about new clothes that have been worn for a couple of seasons. We are talking about very old clothes. Just bin them and buy new.

I’ve got sloppy. Always wore a tailored suit for work (not necessary these days) but now just wear matalan pants and smart t shirts. This week I’ve bought 3 dresses from next, presumed I’d need an 18 because my weight has crept but the 16s fit great. Nothing edgy, all from the work wear range in black/navy/white mixes but I know I’ll look and feel better in work. Not pricey either. Now to tackle my casual wardrobe, which where excess weight is a problem

I do prefer ethically made.
I also do prefer colorful clothing, however I am not sure I I can wear them because I do have very milky skin and they tend to make me look pale. I wear a lot of pastels and Browns but I am not happy with it.
What kind of look I do like? I am not even sure... that’s the problem.

I’ve not RTFT as there are some odd ideas on here BUT for me I’ve finally managed to turn a corner and not look like I’ve thrown on rags anymore by....

1. Getting measurements done by a tailor
2. Using the “size guide” every single time I buy online. I vary between a 12 and a 16 (18 in Warehouse WTF) and my returns have gone right down
3. Banning myself from Primark. One occasional gem in 50 purchases = false economy
4. Spending more on high quality basics and throwing ANYTHING out stained, baggy, worn out, overstretched etc
5. Wearing neutral colours that suit my (fair) palate. I can’t get away with neon and leopard anymore as I’m no longer 22 and into “nu-rave”.
6. Making sure I wash every day (DISCLAIMER: am not minky, my skin dries like paper) and now moisturise PLUS wear a decent light primer and BB cream combo, neutral make up and a slick of good mascara. Boots No 7 in the gold tube.

@Nikifree In all honesty I am not sure why I just don’t bin them. Psychological reasons I guess. I guess because my parents come from socialist countries and taught us to use everything until it fell apart plus I grew upon post socialist countries and there were quite a few grown us with the same mindset.
This and ecological reasons.

Yeah, but I decided to just bin them. My New Years Resolution .

Charities in the UK do send clothes to Africa but it's not always unethical.

I volunteer for Oxfam. Anything we can sell in the shop in the UK we will sell as it's all about raising as much money as we can for the charity. Some stuff goes to "rags" - because it's ripped, stained, too poor quality - and then it is sorted again, centrally in a depot. They will search through it again to make sure there's nothing which can be sold in the UK.

Then the clothes and textiles are graded - lots of it goes for shredding and ends up as stuffing in sofas, cushions and the like. Some does get sent to Frip Ethique in Senegal. There's no point sending them heavy jumpers, winter coats and tights because it's West Africa. So they just get the decent quality, summer clothes.
It's a tiny percentage of the stuff which is actually donated over the counter. Second article says only 14% of what goes for "rags" is sent to Africa, and I'd estimate that only 20% of the clothing we get goes for rags in the first place. So 3% of total donations?

oxfamblogs.org/fp2p/should-oxfam-be-collecting-bras-from-the-public-welcome-to-bra-gate/

www.resurgence.org/magazine/article3690-the-ultimate-in-recycling.html

Im in Germany, too. (And we also live in a rather expensive area...)
Well, I've just bought some absolutely lovely slim fit boot cut trousers at Zero. One pair for home and one pair for work. They look good on me and make me look slim. They weren't cheap, either.
I used to get my jeans from Next before we moved. Not met anyone wear corduroys...especially red ones.
However, if wellies and Jack Wolfskin coats are your normal attire, you are either a farmer...or a teacher.
Get yourself to your nearest shopping centre and check out some of the more grown up shops.

Have you got a nice clothes shop nearby that you can go in and get them to sort you out with a couple of outfits? Also what about booking a personal shopper at your nearest John Lewis? It might be worth studying women whose style you like and adapting it for you.

I decided a while back to smarten myself up a bit. I made a few boards on Pinterest and browsed different styles to see what I liked.

I looked at posts about capsule wardrobes to get an idea of what I needed to be able to create some outfits.

I've found a shape of dress that suits me and am much more adventurous when trying on clothes in shops. Ok so I don't buy lots but I have found the odd surprising garment to help.

I've invested in key pieces. I now have one good day handbag and two clutches for evening which go with most things. I know in the sales in after a pair of flat brown boots and a heeled black pair. I'm not going to buy a load of stuff that I don't need.

Go through your wardrobe and see what is really tatty and get rid of it. Try stuff on and see what you like.

I getbwhat you mean about the coat. I had one that was great for work because it was so warm but I hated the colour and style and kept wearing it even thiugh it had a ripped pocket and is lost the belt because I couldn't find a suitable replacement.

Style and beauty have helped me out in the past they are definitely worth a post.

Good luck