AIBU to ask if there is anybody else on this board who wants to dress better?

[ConfusedWife1234]

It is my New Years resolution because I am really, really unhappy with my style but not sure yet how to change it.

Actually a woman I know has told me that when we first met she thought I was desperately poor because of the way I dressed. I am actually not... I hope nobody takes offense... I think that there are many, many worthy and valuable people among the poor but I am actually not poor and think it is odd I look like this... and yes I think I do.

I have the odd habit of wearing things until they fall apart. New Years Resolution is to throw them away (donating clothes actually cause much harm in Africa because donated clothes are cheaper than the ones the local tailors produce. So I decided not to donate clothes to charity anymore).

I am actually not a farmer or a teacher but I do have relatives who are farmers.... (and noticed I dress like them a bit... though I do not like it very much because I do not think they are very well dressed) and I do nearly live in the country. The neighbourhood I was talking about is really surrounded by a great landscape... but a lot of people here do not enjoy the countryside... they just drive to work with their cars. I really do not get them.

I enjoy riding and I am out with the dogs and the kids a lot... I need clothes that are right for this kind of lifestyle...

You know, I am not afraid my legs will look fat in slim fit jeans. I am afraid they will look even more skinny... because I do think I look to skinny and that makes me legs look ugly.

I posted there: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/3464082-I-want-to-dress-upper-middle-class

BTW what exactly is a capsule wardrobe?

Is English your first language??

No, most unfortunately English is not my first language.

There's nothing wrong with your English, but it may explain why some of the tone reads a little unusual

A capsule wardrobe is a small amount of clothes that you can wear in lots of different ways and combinations to get more outfits out of them.

Think along the lines of a well fitting pair of black trousers which you could wear to work, or with a dresy top to go out or with a t-shirt for more casual wear.

"Looking poor" or "like a homeless person" is nothing to do with the style of the clothes you are wearing. It's to do with wearing them after they have become torn, mended, faded and so on. And also a bit to do with wearing clothes which don't actually fit you properly. You could avoid this by regularly updating your wardrobe and trying on clothes to make sure they fit.

Looking stylish is a different thing. That is to do with choosing clothes which suit your particular colouring, body shape, and personality. You may need help with this and I would suggest going to a large department store and booking time with a personal shopper. They will be able to show you clothes which suit you and make you try on lots of things you wouldn't normally, so you can see what you like.

As an aside, I have a bag hung up in my wardrobe for ragging and it works really well. When I get a hole in tights, or a jumper falls apart etc I stick it in the bag. When the bag gets full I empty it out, cut everything up so that it can only be used as rags. Then I take it to the clothes recycle point in a plastic bag. The stuff I donate in this way would not be useful as clothes, and I hope I save someone at the recycle plant a job of checking all my useless old stuff, they can just stick it in the rag pile. Any decent clothes I tend to eBay or charity shop them.
I’ve recycled about 5 rag bags this year, Iwas surprised as I tend to hold on to stuff but I used to stick tights in the bin which is a waste.

I probably should make more effort but it’s such a faff. I have work clothes which is dress/jackets/mid heels in dark colours. My closet has about a dozen sets that is more or less enough as I mainly work from home. Other than that I don’t really care. Scrunch hair up into a clip, muck boots in winter etc. A few more formal things hidden at the back somewhere and still in dry cleaning bags. That’s about it. If people like me, to not for how I dress.

OP if you want to dress like I think you want to dress look here:

www.outdoorandcountry.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMItfnq8K3H3wIV2YXVCh1ZzweiEAAYASAAEgKmPfD_BwE

You get pretty good deals on certain things that are made and last well.

To be honest, I don't know anyone here in Germany who'd talk about themselves as "upper middle class" or have any clue what that's supposed to look like in terms of outfit.
DS attends a private nursery (a lot pricier than the state ones but with longer opening hours) and the parents I meet there are all either going to work or have just come from work, so are dressed accordingly. The vast majority are professionals, who have very decent incomes due to our location.
We live near a major city but in the country. I also commute into work, as does DH. The only person I keep seeing in "scruffy" clothes is my neighbour and her children. I don't think they are poor but they are quite "alternative" (kids go to Steiner nursery, no tv, etc.)... It's her choice. Nothing to do with income or "class".

I look like a sack of shit all the time. I hate clothes shopping because I hate how fat I am post babies. I'm currently wearing a tatty dress and maternity leggings.
I've recently bought a couple of pairs of skinny jeans that fit well and some nice boots. My legs are OK, it's my tummy that's the issue. On the look out for some floaty tops to pair them with.

You sound like a toast kind of woman. Which is very fashionable

www.toa.st/uk/sale.htm

I don't understand Toast.

Overpriced little house on the prairie style dresses.

Had a look at toast. Jesus Christ, just no. 50 quid for a striped t-shirt? How is that fashionable? Not fashionable myself, so probably don't have a clue. Corduroy will provoke responses from people OP. It is nice to wear but worse than leggings in opinions you will get. Sorry @Travisandthemonkey don't mean to be unkind particularly when I have no good suggestions myself.

Having never heard of Toast I just followed the link. Am a little confused; this dress looks a bit like what my friend wears to work (he’s an archdeacon)...