Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you think of this age gap?

43 replies

DirtyDishes · 29/12/2018 21:35

The people in question are not me but someone close to me.

A 22 year old female with an 18 year old male.

She has finished uni and has a full time job, he turned 18 earlier this month and is doing his A levels.

I think it's odd - am I being judgemental?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 29/12/2018 21:36

What 'age gap'? Confused

Bambamber · 29/12/2018 21:36

I don't think it's odd at all

animallikeyou · 29/12/2018 21:38

Hmmm, I’m not sure it has a good chance of lasting as when I was 22 I was in a totally different place to most 18 year old males.

That said, it totally depends on the people in question and it’s legal so why not?

Beamur · 29/12/2018 21:38

It's not that many years but they're at different places in their lives. If he's going to Uni it may fizzle out anyway. I wouldn't be too concerned.

LeggyLinda · 29/12/2018 21:38

Ok.
In some ways you could argue healthy

SerenDippitty · 29/12/2018 21:38

I think it’s a bit odd. Not the age gap itself but the stages in life they are at. He’s more or less still at school. Bit of a gap in life experience. It wouldn’t matter if she was 30 and he was 26.

WatchingTheWheels85 · 29/12/2018 21:39

My mother moved a 17yr old in the day after she met him, she was 34. There's nothing wrong with the age gap you are talking about.

tinydancer88 · 29/12/2018 21:40

I agree that most people have changed an awful lot between 18 and 22 and are likely to be at different stages, but I doubt most people would think anything of a 22 year old going out with an 18 year old if the sexes were reversed.

Singlenotsingle · 29/12/2018 21:42

They're both too young. Especially him. The
so-called "age gap" isn't a problem. I'm 3 years older than my dp but we're both grandparents so we don't notice it.

Shockers · 29/12/2018 21:42

At 22, most 18 year olds were more mature in outlook than me...

Passmethecrisps · 29/12/2018 21:43

It’s not the age gap as much as the stage of life which is the issue. At 22 I was a full time teacher so I would have been in a totally different head space to an 18 year old.

In 5 years it would be different I think.

Unless she is a teacher then there is no harm in it but I imagine it will see its course naturally

CrispbuttyNo1 · 29/12/2018 21:43

That’s not an age gap.

WWWWicked · 29/12/2018 21:45

It’s odd - not the age gap as such, but an independent, working full time, 22 year old, in a relationship with a just turned 18 year old who is still at college.

Lovingbenidorm · 29/12/2018 21:47

I’d be more concerned about the stages they are at tbh.
22yo has completed university and is now working full time.
18yo is still at school and if planning on university is looking at 3 yrs of study and fun meeting new people.
Can’t see it lasting I’m afraid

JacquesHammer · 29/12/2018 21:47

The age gap is negligible, however they’re at two very different stages of life.

I wouldn’t be concerned about the relationship in any way.

Belenus · 29/12/2018 21:47

It really would depend on the people. As pp have said it's not really an age gap - it's a difference in life stages. I wouldn't worry about it though - they're both young adults.

YankeeCandlePong · 29/12/2018 21:48

Nothing odd about it at all. Some people on here look for weirdness where there isn't any.

Bound · 29/12/2018 21:49

I was 25 when I met DH and he was 20. Still together nearly 20 years later. Their immaturity might cause it not to work out long term but the age gap is fine.

SerenDippitty · 29/12/2018 21:51

they're both young adults.

Albeit he has only just become old enough to legally buy alcohol and vote.....

jessstan2 · 29/12/2018 21:52

It happens. I know a couple who got married when he was 18 and she 22 and they are still together forty odd years later.

Nothing wrong with it at all though I must say I wouldn't have wanted an eighteen year old boyfriend when I was 22.

OohLookAtThat · 29/12/2018 21:54

4 years is hardly an age gap.

WorraLiberty · 29/12/2018 21:55

They're both too young. Especially him.

Too young for what though?

They're just young people going out with each other from what the OP has said.

If she'd said they were moving in together I'd agree they're too young.

Crunchymum · 29/12/2018 21:56

At 22 I was dating a 18yo. Amazing sex, lots of lust, had a right laugh.

Met his parents and he met mine. Met respective friends etc.

He worked, I studied fwiw.

Lemoneeza · 29/12/2018 21:57

I was 30 when I started seeing then 18 year old dh.

Youmadorwhat · 29/12/2018 21:59

10 yrs between me and my hubby and I wasn’t finished uni when we met 🤷‍♀️