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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my parents dog?

66 replies

Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 16:15

I'm not a big fan of pets at all in general anyway... but I understand other people get very sentimental about them so despite my worries I said it was okay for my parents to bring their dog over Christmas. They usually leave it with friends but that was not possible this year.

I bloody hate the thing.
I've got a toddler and a 5monty old baby.
It's just been a nightmare. It chews my childrens toys, it climbs on the sofa (which its allowed to do at my parents house so they dont tell it off and I dont feel I can) it was everywhere and then the wee dries and I have no idea where it was but can smell it... so I have to clean the whole floor because of my children... and also because our house is small everyone gets in a strop with me because they all have to move out of the living room whilst I do it... it's like no one cares that my children are essentially playing in dog excrement... it's me that's uptight!
They've made a bed for the dog in the bedroom they are sleeping in (which is mine and my husbands bedroom because it's the better room) out of my cushions and one of my bath towels...
The stupid dog is frightened of the garden so it has to be escorted out for a poo every night... and so it pops and wees in the house if it can...

Today parents went into the town without the dog. I stayed in because me and the children are ill. My husband is at work. The dog has howled constantly and scratched at the door and keeps trying to come upstairs... its shat all over the living room floor despite being let out often (it cannot stay in the garden alone as it has a public right of way through it and sometimes people leave the gate open and the dog has form for just running off)
It chews stuff it finds and leaves bits of slobbery stuff everywhere...

I don't know if it's just coz I'm not used to dogs but it just seems absolutely grim. I'm used to a certain level of mess and yuckiness because I've got two young children and I thought I was quite relaxed but this dog is making me want to burn the house down and all of my possessions so I can start over and be away from the disgustingness....

I dont have time to babysit this emotionally needy pile of hair whilst I'm trying to look after my children...

Before anyone has a massive hover me i haven't been mean to the dog or my parents and I'm just having a vent here.

I hate domesticated dogs. Dogs should live in the wild.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

OP posts:
ScreamingBadSanta · 29/12/2018 16:33

Poodles are very intelligent dogs which need lots of stimulation - my guess is that he's stressed by all the strange people, and climbing the walls in boredom when he's been shut away.

Costacoffeeplease · 29/12/2018 16:33

Dogs should be in the wild?

Yeah right - you lost me there

The dog is obviously anxious and stressed and possibly untrained - not the dog’s fault

RandomMess · 29/12/2018 16:33

Is it a standard poodle - you know like large. They need so much exercise physical and mental and are known for being a bit loopy...

There is a reason why we chose a "low maintenance" dog!

Original poster
Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 16:34

I'm aware I'm just quite unsympathetic to animals being indoors... so I couldn't tell if this was just me being uptight! They have 5 cats at their house too and I hate all of them.. everything is covered in a layer of cat fur.. I'm not a pets person at all so this is winding me up.
I am aware I shouldn't blame the dog and I do make every effort to be nice to it.

OP posts:
willyloman · 29/12/2018 16:35

Sounds like a badly (un)trained dog! Unless a puppy no excuse for pooing/weeing inside. Disgusting! I love dogs and have had many over the years and they are a delight and comfort but need attention and training. Your parents need to step up and invest some time into teaching dog better ways. No wonder friends declined to dogsit...Good luck!

DisplayPurposesOnly · 29/12/2018 16:36

I love dogs. You don’t have a dog problem you have a parent problem. That poor dog isn’t trained and is scared to go outside. They don’t bother listening to you when you say you’re not comfortable with it climbing on your (rented) sofa. They have no respect for you or your property.

Honestly? I’d be having words with your parents. It’s not fair on that poor dog for a start.

Absolutely this. Id be having strong words with anyone who behaved like this in my house. It's not the dog, it's your patents.

Original poster
Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 16:41

Yeah it's easier said than done to 'have words with your parents' isn't it? They've been great this Christmas and supported us with a lot of stuff... not to mention they devoted large parts of their lives to raising me... I can see that they might come back with 'and you cant even put up with our dog that we live for a few weeks?!'
You're right though I do worry about thier ability to cope with these animals. They live abroad in the middle of nowhere in this large old house with five cats and a dog... my mum is disabled and finds it hard to move around so it's essentially my dad.. who is getting on a bit now, trying to look after my mum, their old house and these animals... but that's an extremely hard thing to bring up with them

OP posts:
puppymouse · 29/12/2018 16:41

I am crazy about dogs but this would tip me over the edge, YANBU.

Iseveryusernametaken · 29/12/2018 16:42

I adore my dog, I think he may actually love me more than my kids do. He would never do any of these things though. Don't get me wrong, he can be naughty. He snaffled a packet of crisps one day, couldn't deal with the salt content and wee'd in my hall (tbf he flooded my hall, he's quite big) but it was an accident. We also had a nightmare week when he managed to pick up ecoli from goodness only knows where, but again, not his fault and I was so scared he was going to die that I didn't care that I was up 3 times every night to bleach the hall floor. He's mortified if he has an accident! He does sleep on the sofa sometimes (I buy leather so can wipe clean with dettol wipes) but gets down if told. I can take him anywhere though and he regularly stays with my parents without any bother at all. I would not accept this behaviour from a visiting dog. They need to take him home or find a good kennels. Minimum expectation should be house trained.

Jenb2104 · 29/12/2018 16:44

I love dogs. Our dog is part of our family and sleeps in our bed but I wouldn't be happy with this. I would also be mortified if our dog behaved in this way. I would say your attitude to dogs in general is unreasonable but you are not being unreasonable about this situation. Tell your parents they need to go home.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 29/12/2018 16:50

Yeah it's easier said than done to 'have words with your parents' isn't it?

Up to a point, yes; but that point has well and truly passed. I'd've let it go for a weekend or a couple of accidents, but they are being lazy and irresponsible over the course of a fortnight. Meanwhile you are blaming the dog but it's the owners that are at fault.

CatnissEverdene · 29/12/2018 16:51

I've got 2 dogs but I wouldn't tolerate that from house guests.

Next time, the dog goes to kennels or they stay home.

It's a very unhappy dog to mess in its environment, btw. They don't sound very responsible dog owners at all.

Izzy24 · 29/12/2018 16:54

This is awful. You poor poor thing!

Words fail really !

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2018 16:55

the sofa isn't ours it belongs to the landlord

Well, you can probably wave your deposit goodbye if the dog wees and poos on this as well as the flooring - and rightly so. It would be a shame for your sake, but you really can't expect them to be happy about that

Actually, couldn't the landlord be used as an excuse for not having the dog again? Maybe tell them he saw evidence of the fouling at an inspection and has refused all animal visits in future?

DowntonCrabby · 29/12/2018 16:55

This isn’t about a dog, it’s about your hugely disrespectful, rude, ignorant, pet neglectful twats of parents.

ILoveChristmasLights · 29/12/2018 16:56

Did they bring the 5 cats too then?

missyB1 · 29/12/2018 16:57

I have a quite well behaved dog who is small cute and chilled. But even so I get stressed at the thought of staying in other people’s houses with her, because I know that people who are not dog owners often struggle with one staying in their house.
Your parents dog is clearly poorly trained and not coping. I’m amazed that your parents aren’t feeling guilty as hell and constantly apologising- I would have gone home with the dog if I was them.

I think for all your sakes you need to suggest they find a good dog boarder for their next stay with you.

Original poster
Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 16:58

The dog has not weed or pooed on the sofa just the floor and the floor is all wood or slate. So it's not as bad as it could be... him climbing on the sofa just makes me tense because it's not ours and I have to worry about it staying clean.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 16:59

No the cats are with the friend who always has the cats. A different friend usually takes the dog but couldn't this time. Apparently the dog is no problem when he stays with them.

OP posts:
DointItForTheKids · 29/12/2018 17:00

Well in all honesty OP, it might be tough to have those words with your parents, but it's up to YOU to sort this problem out. You say you're worried for your children but have had the dog around shitting everywhere for days and days and days and days so far and done nothing - if you can't stand up for yourself or your children and speak to your parents then about the only option left is to simply refuse to host them ever again with the dog. Otherwise it's daft to come on here asking if it's unreasonable to hate your parents dog and then say oh well I can't possibly say anything!

Unreasonable to hate their do - yes, it's not the dog's fault but unreasonable to have an untrained shitting and pissing dog in your home making it filthy and unhygienic - not unreasonable at all.

Santaissleepingoffmincepies · 29/12/2018 17:01

When ds brought his un house trained ddog it was garden only -
Ring them to return, they need to find a kennels tonight or go home early.
Bloody disgusting they expect you to accept this.

Claw001 · 29/12/2018 17:02

Yabu it’s not the dogs fault.

If you don’t like dogs at the best of times, big mistake allowing to stay for 2 weeks!

UnleashTheBulsara · 29/12/2018 17:02

You are ill and your parents have gone out and left you to watch and clean up after their untrained dog...? They are BVVVVVVU. They need to bring their visit to a close and go home. Where are the cats if your parents have been with you over a fortnight - a FORTNIGHT! - already? Shock Are they in a cattery, fending for themselves, got a neighbour popping in to feed/check on them..?

Of course it's difficult to tell your parents that their visit should end. But you are not well and are deeply stressed by the additional cleaning you are having to do as a result of their dog. Their animals are their responsibility, not yours. You are not being unreasonable at all.

Original poster
Ribbonsonabox · 29/12/2018 17:03

I wont have the dog here again dont worry! I'll say that much but I dont think I'm going to be having words about them having the dog in the first place.. when I dont think they can really cope with it... part of me feels like I should but a larger part knows it's none if my business! It is my business when its here though so I'm going to say it's not welcome back.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2018 17:07

Glad to hear at least it's left the sofa unsoiled, but you did say "it was everywhere and then the wee dries and I have no idea where it was but can smell it" . If some of the floors are wood there's every chance the wee will have been absorbed by now, and good luck with getting that out

Whether the landlord smells it or not, though, what did you think of the idea of using them as an excuse as to why the dog can't come again?

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