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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my sons he’s grounded

58 replies

Juststopit · 29/12/2018 01:34

15 year old Son has repeatedly been told to turn off his xbox but I woke up at 12.45am to find him still on it! This has been happening every night despite repeated warnings. AIBU to ground him tomorrow when he’s supposed to be going out with his dad to a football match? For context exdh is a pretty usless dad, doesn’t co parent just does fun stuff , never had him to stay etc etc. If I am am bu what else could I do? He’s also not done his revision. I will be removing the Xbox/ internet from a more respectable time from now on.

OP posts:
susiegrapevine · 29/12/2018 01:37

Surely just take the xbox away entirely for a week?? Don't just remove it at a respectable time?

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 29/12/2018 01:38

Yanbu. Goodbye fun day out with crap dad and goodbye to the power cord to the Xbox.

KC225 · 29/12/2018 01:39

Remove it. Give it to a neighbour for a week.

Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 01:39

Your right. It’s going in my secret hiding place when I get up tomorrow. And it’s not coming out until next year.

OP posts:
goldengummybear · 29/12/2018 01:40

Keep it hidden in the boot of your car for a while.

KeepServingTheFestiveSnogs · 29/12/2018 01:40

the removing the xbox is an appropriate punishment - it fits the crime.

Pissing on the contact will just cause resentment by both of them, and your ex might scupper it anyway.

I'm sorry if you've got a useless ex, but that's a different topic.

DeRigueurMortis · 29/12/2018 01:42

Yes - don't ground him. Just remove the Xbox. As per pp your car boot is a good place.

Whyarealltheusernamestaken · 29/12/2018 01:42

I would say remove the Xbox but don’t make it an issue which prevents him seeing his dad, no matter how crap he may be. Keep the punishment within your home

Lovingbenidorm · 29/12/2018 01:43

Did you tell him that this would be the consequence?

Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 01:44

Good advice. Hadn’t thought of bootof the car. Neighbour would probably sell it so that’s out the window!

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Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 01:44

Yes he knew this was the consequence. Still ignored me so I m following through. Bloody Xbox and bloody teenagers.

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BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 29/12/2018 01:53

I’ll probably get flamed for this, but the reason I said I’d cancel the football match is that he knows he will get the Xbox back- be it a day or a week. He can’t get the football match back. That puts a real sting in it and might make him think twice.

Maybe I’m horrible, but I remember when I was bold as a teenager and it wasn’t the things that were taken temporarily that I remember, but the things I missed out on as a result of being a brat.

MildlyMiserable · 29/12/2018 01:54

I’m much more ruthless- set a PS4time limit and shout when there’s 30 / 15 /5 minutes left so both he and his friends can hear - I’m past negotiating, any whinging and plug is removed from the wall and all game progress is lost - his friends don’t goad him to ask for more time now. It’s only available during weekend and holidays otherwise homework would never be done or would be rushed to get game play. It’s also the reason there is only one tv in our house, can either watch a film or play. It’s taking time but the arguments are petering out, my Will is definitely stronger and although my 15 year old owns the PS4, I own the router 😁

AnxiousMama101 · 29/12/2018 01:57

Remove the power cords; not the consoles. They can't do anything without the cables. Grin

Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 01:58

I’ve just changed the WiFi password too. Ha! And yes I think the match will have more of a sting. It will also illustrate to Disney dad that actually there is parenting to be done and if he was supportive shit like this wouldn’t happen.

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SleightOfMind · 29/12/2018 02:09

I’d be so tempted to ground him too in your shoes and give Disney Ex a wake up call too.

FestiveSnogs has it right though. Disney twat won’t magically get it and your DS might blame you for his dad not being as involved as he should.

Take the Xbox away but don’t stop him going to the footie with his dad.

Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 02:13

Hmm it’s a tough one. I’ve text Disney fuckwit and we ll see what happens. Xbox is definitely going for a while though.

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Userplusnumbers · 29/12/2018 02:13

I get what you're trying to do OP, but removing the xbox is a far better punishment.

Unlikely as it is - if your DS decides to act out while with his dad - are you going to put up with him dictating terms to you? That's the precedent you're setting.

Userplusnumbers · 29/12/2018 02:15

For example - dad gets annoyed that DS won't put his phone away at dinner - knows you're planning on taking him to pizza hut the following evening, so says he can't go?

user1473878824 · 29/12/2018 02:17

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil I would agree if it wasn’t for the fact he’d be missing contact with his dad it sounds like he gets a short straw on anyway.

MidniteScribbler · 29/12/2018 02:19

It's not your place to get involved in contact with his father. If I were him I'd be pissed off with your for trying to dictate what could happen during my time. Tickets have obviously been purchased, are you going to reimburse your ex for those?

Just remove the xbox - that's the logical consequence for his behaviour.

Winterberriesonatree · 29/12/2018 02:21

Our 33 year old single son is still using his PS4 at this time of night in our living room. Fortunately he will leave on 2nd January to go back to his own digs in London.

Be inspired by the possibility that all young people may eventually leave home. It just takes much longer these days.

BlackCatSleeping · 29/12/2018 02:26

I agree, I don’t think it’s fair to cancel the football match.

You need to set a time every night to finish playing on the Xbox and take it away every night. He’s a teenager, they don’t exactly have great self control. That’s what I do. Every night at 9pm, I go around and gather up all the phones and games consoles and put them away until the next day. It stops people sneaking out of bed at midnight to play on them.

StoppinBy · 29/12/2018 02:26

It's fair if you told him BEFORE you punished him, it is not fair of you told him that he was grounded after the fact.

It is fair to remove the power cable or the Xbox due to him not doing as you asked with it.

Original poster
Juststopit · 29/12/2018 02:28

But if the father does zero parenting someone has to right? I know he’ll go anyway. And surely him having virtually no contact normally means that he’s dictating what I do in my contact time ie parenting an obstinate teenager and all the chores that come with him. Anyway that’s beside the point.
Xbox is going on a vacation. Job done.

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