Parents and anniversaries

[NoShelfElf]

Is it usual for parents to acknowledge their offspring's wedding anniversary? Celebrate it? Offer to babysit even? Or nothing, no mention, despite being involved in the wedding itself.

Far too many variables to simply answer that.

A bit of co text might help, because not everyone is the same. There is no 'usual'

I don’t think it’s common for anyone other than the married couple to do anything to mark anniversaries.

I’m very close to my parents and they don’t remember/acknowledge our wedding anniversary. Now, they don’t ignore it so if I mention we’re going out for dinner because it’s our anniversary etc they’ll wish us a happy birthday/remark they can’t believe it’s been X years since our wedding etc.

I certainly wouldn’t expect them to “celebrate” it.

My lovely, very thoughtful parents never mention ours. I doubt they even remember when it is. DD is older now anyway, but they'd have readily helped out with babysitting if asked.

^Wish is a happy anniversary, not birthday

My parents (and a couple of Aunts) send us a card, and I find it a bit weird TBH. In my head, anniversaries are private celebrations between the two celebrating them. It would never occur to me to send someone else an anniversary card.

That said, if I explicitly asked them, "hey, we'd love to go out for our anniversary, any chance of a spot of babysitting?" they would likely oblige and I would bite their hand off!

My incredibly lovely and thoughtful parents remembered and celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary (sent card and champagne to hotel room where we were staying), then forgot the next 4. I never brought it up but I was a bit miffed haha given I do my best to remember theirs! Hey ho. I’m sure they would have congratulated or offered some childcare if we’d mentioned we were doing something for it. No big deal.

No. No ones remember, we usually go out for dinner and ask MIL to babysit, but she doesn't get card or anything nor would we expect one. Only big anniversary's silver, golden, diamond etc should be celebrated.

Mine do, but they’re nuts.

I've been married 28 years and mine don't, apart from a card on our 25th anniversary. I don't acknowledge theirs either, apart from the big ones.

I think I’d only acknowledge very major anniversaries of the long service medal duration ie Silver, Gold, Diamond so is less likely to mean parents congratulating offspring.

However, my DD got married this year, and it was a major event for us all as a family, so I can imagine sending a card to mark just the first anniversary.

No, I think we might have got a card on the first anniversary but not after that. If we asked them to babysit, though, they probably would if they were free,

No, neither my mum nor very thoughtful in laws mark ours, and we don’t mark theirs either. Do you send your parents a card on theirs?

If it's recent then I would think they might remember and offer to have the kids overnight ;) after which I would be cheeky and ask!!! After a couple of years probably nothing til a significant one e.g. 10 years etc xx

No. Some do, but generally anniversaries are only a thing for the couple themselves. If you want babysitting or whatever, you should ask rather than wait for it to be offered.

My parents don't remember when ours is. But if I mentioned it on the day, they will say happy anniversary. My mum sporadically (not every year) will hastily get us a card. But this is only because she is a card orientated person. I just tell my parents happy anniversary when it's theirs (because my mum likes for it to be acknowledged) - she even gets cards from some of her friends. We've never bothered with getting them a card though...If my parents insisted on throwing a milestone party for theirs then for sure I'd buy a card. And likewise if I was throwing an anniversary party, I would expect at least a few cards from some of the attendees. Sorry that was an unnecessarily waffley answer I'm aware lol

No - I'd never expect anyone to recall our anniversary (now getting quite high in number).

And to be clear I'd never expect my parents to take initiative and offer to watch our kids so we can go on a date or whatever. And we live next door to them. I don't think many people would think to offer that nor would I expect it.

Mine (married nearly 50 years) don't even remember their own, let alone ours!

We don't do anything ourselves other than to comment 'oh, it's our wedding anniversary today' or if DH hasn't remembered, I'll say 'Guess what we were doing (e.g.) 11 years ago today!'

I should think myself lucky then! Parents on both sides always send cards and my mother always sends flowers. Sister and sister-in law both send cards from them and their spouses. (but we always send family and relatives anniversary cards as well), it's just a thing we have always done. We dont have anyone babysit, or go out celebrating though. (although we might celebrate next year as it will be the 25 year mark!)

Interesting, I just wondered. No agenda or anything, we have 1 set of parents who mark it and the other day not. I just wondered which was more usual!

To me its just for the couple. However in families it is a bad move to make comparisons

I always send a card to my DC on their anniversary, and offer to babysit. But my DC live within an hour's drive and I see them every week for childcare, and babysit regularly anyway.

I always sent my parents a card. I wouldn't expect anyone to send us one.

Mine don’t. Yet get the hump annually if they don’t receive a card and a phone call and a decent present for the ‘big’ ones. We were expected to remember when we were little too. (I should mention that this level of remembering does not extend to my brother, only me... 🙄🙄🙄)

We send cards to siblings and parents and them to us. If we were staying with them on the day they might offer to babysit while we go for a meal.