To wish my ILs would go home now

[ILsGoHomePlease]

ILs arrived on 23rd, & we realize now that they don't intend to leave til 1st or 2nd. We knew they were coming but they wouldn't decide how long for. I wfh, kids are off school, DH is off work (but having a big lie in every day after wine consumption every evening).

I am working this week & it's a nightmare finding somewhere to work away from everyone. ILs require waiting on (MIL not good on feet and borderline doolally, FIL can just about make cuppa & slice of toast but that is all).

I am fed up, full of a cold, tired. Having to get up & sort kitchen, sort kids brekkie & then make MIL tea & then get on with my work day.

We need to food shop as didn't know they would be staying for so long & I just know that this'll fall to me tomorrow. I want to cry. This really feels too long for a visit and my grin & bear it capacity is at an all time low so just wanted to vent.

Kids do love them being here as does DH but this feels a bit like they're taking advantage. I know DH would never ask them to leave sooner & I suppose I wouldn't really want him to, but I feel like screaming all the same. Any good IL coping strategies?

What’s your husband doing to help? They’re his parents - he need to step up and look after them, and get the food shopping in too!

You’re working! So your husband can host. Wake him up in the mornings, kick him out of the bedroom, and work from your bedroom.

This is totally too long I really feel for you.

On a practical note can you get an online shop delivered tomorrow or use the shopping as an excuse to disappear all day?

Also, it’s not IL coping strategies you need. You just need your husband to pull his weight, especially as he’s off work and you’re not.

Yep OP has to step up here. I would threaten him with me booking a hotel with spa overnight. A cold flannel on the feet and ripping off the duvet when you get up should get him moving.

Your Husband needs to step up and help out .

Tell him to lay off the grog in the evening if it’s causing him to be a lazy bastard the next morning.

Can you work somewhere else? The library? It's not your job to leave and be put out, but maybe your dh will just have to crack on if you're not there?

Your DH can do the shopping, online or in person. And he could damned we'll get the kids up and sorted.

Having to get up & sort kitchen, sort kids brekkie & then make MIL tea

Why isn't your DH doing all this?!

Stop waiting on them! You’re working, DH is off. Kick him out of bed in the morning and head out to a coffee shop so you can concentrate. He can drink what he can handle while still being useful the next morning. He’s your husband, they’re his parents. He can make tea and toast, entertain them and do a food shop. Don’t be a mug OP.

And don’t agree to open ended visits again, tell them what suits ALL of you and stick to it.

Yes to trying to get him to do food shop, it'll probably require a stand-off situation though to make him realize I won't do it.

Think tomorrow & Sunday I just won't budge in morning from bed so he can sort everyone out.

(Unfortunately cant work in our bedroom as we have loft room with slanted ceilings)

Blimey that is a long time. Is DH doing the cooking/tidying/general looking after them too or are you copping it all?

Tell your lazy ass husband that you are working so he needs to get out of bed and sort his guests out.

Yes to trying to get him to do food shop, it'll probably require a stand-off situation

A stand off? lazy git!

He is cooking so I'm not doing it all but I'm begrudging the rest more and more. It really just is too long. And yes no more open ended visits.

Liking the idea of working from a coffee shop or somewhere else Monday - good suggestion

Tell him he's taking over completely from now. I'd be off somewhere else to work in your shoes tbh. Not that you should have to.

I'd be giving him hell. Is he always this selfish?

& stand off may just involve me having several hr long bath with book & cuppa til he realizes I'll not be tootling out for food

Definitely take yourself off for a long bath or go out to a friends for a coffee for a bit.

Why does there have to be a 'stand-off' with DH? Just remind him you're working so he has to get up, feed the in-laws, get the shopping in, sort the kids etc. Does he think those are all your jobs? WFH is actual working. Just tell him.

And maybe tell him to have a conversation with his parents about leaving in the next day or so as you have to work!

Don't cave, OP, make him do everything if he's off work. Stop being a doormat and tell them they need to go home or get him to, he's their son.

If at all possible you need to leave the house for your whole working day.
DH must take resonsibility for everything else while you are at work.

Why isn’t he getting out of bed and dealing with his parents?

I am fed up, full of a cold, tired. Having to get up & sort kitchen, sort kids brekkie & then make MIL tea & then get on with my work day.

What on earth is DH doing while you're doing all this?! You're WFH, he's off work, he should be bloody taking care of his parents!

Yep I know you're all right, I had been feeling like DH was entitled to some lie-ins while he is off work as he does work hard but enough is enough. When you wfh it's too easy to fall into role of doing things you shouldn't have to when you're working. Monday I will up & away in the morning & leave them all to it. I am off next week starting the 1st so will strongly encourage them leaving them! Cannot wait!!!