Giving up on bibs - AIBU?

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

My 16 month old hates wearing a bib. Mealtimes involve him pulling it off several times. He is a good eater tho.

My DH is being v strict "no bib no food" and takes his plate away if he takes his bib off. This leads to crying and interrupts eating, so often he then won't eat any more even once he has his plate back.

I'm more relaxed and don't really care. I only insist on a bib if it's a messy meal like soup, otherwise if it's fingerfood I don't mind as he doesn't get very messy and I think it's not a battle that's worth having.

My DH said letting him eat with no bib is letting him run wild, he will ruin clothes etc 

Opinions please?

I got round that by buying a pack of cheap t shirts two sizes too big.

Good idea thanks I'll give it a go. I'm not sure if DH will think it's 'letting him run wild' 😂😂😂

Oh dear
My motto was 'never get into a fight with a toddler'.

Mine never liked bibs so didn't wear them. At home I'd usually take their tops off. Skin is easy to wipe clean.

We didn’t use bibs, I got good at stain removal and clothes only let a few months at that age anyway

I gave up on bibs very early. Mine pulled them off then stopped eating. I have bigger battles to fight plus clothes only last 2 minutes either through outgrowing or ruining a bit of food does no harm. If it's beetroot or something I take their top off.

Can DH do a few days of sole responsibility childcare? He might quite quickly adopt a “choose your battles” mindset.

We’ve got a couple of bumkins bibs with sleeves which are fab - more like a top than a bib so can’t be pulled off but might feel less like an annoying scarf to tug at as well. They’re expensive but worth it - wipeable, keep clothes clean, and waterproof.

16 months old and your DH is taking his food away for not wearing a bib. Why would anyone do that? Of course he's going to cry and not want to eat afterwards, poor little chap.

So what if his clothes get a bit mucky?

Your DH is setting up problems and making food and eating into a miserable experience for your small child. Let him eat his food in comfort. At that age a lot of eating involves mess and learning about the texture and taste of food, getting it on his clothes and in his hair is all part and parcel of that process.

Your DH is being mean and silly.

Is there something about the bibs he doesn’t like? Can you get softer ones/pull on etc etc.

Any messy meals mine just ate in nappies from about 9 months to 2 years....

Obviously not if we were out.

Also dark patterned clothes.

We've tried all sorts of bibs and he doesn't like any. We have slightly more success with the smock type ones but often half way through the meal he notices he is wearing it and takes it off, resulting in DH removing his plate, meaning DS stops eating after only half his dinner and he then wakes up at 3am with an empty tummy rather than sleeping through. DH gets up gets him a snack and milk etc but then DH is grumpy due to broken sleep... and then the cycle starts over!

I just can't be doing with getting into a Mexican stand off with a baby over a bib and some T-shirt stains!

We never used a bib with my second. We tried at 6 months, but he would try and eat the bib and then get more of the food down himself than without, so we just never bothered. I really don't think they are important, your DH is creating a problem for no reason.

I stopped trying to get my son to wear a bib at around 14 months as he hated it. I felt like I was getting him to wear them for the sake of it and stopped trying when I realised that I didn't really give a monkeys about whether he wore one or not. His clothes aren't ridiculously dirty and if he gets a bit of Bolognese sauce on his shirt I'm not that bothered - most of the time it comes off in the wash anyway. That was one of the first times I truly picked my battles. It's nice to feed him now that the kicking and screaming has been eliminated. Haha. Obviously this is up to you OP, but I have read that this is the age when some parents give up the bibs because toddlers get a bit funny about them.

Buy some cheap t shirts in a larger size or old shirts and cut the collar off. Put on back to front and use a button to fasten. Use those for bibs.

We use dh's old shirts that way for painting and craft aprons.

Your dh is being an idiot though. What's he going to do as baby gets older and no longer wears bibs but still spills food. It happens sometimes.

Also; what's he like with mess generally, if baby does painting etc?

Invariably clothes and child will wash.

We had the same issue I gave up and brought a pack of short sleeve no leg sleep suits pop him in one for each meal and whack them into the machine with napisan- no exactly mess free but better than food everywhere

Couldn't tell you the last time dd2 wore a bib. Hated the things and trying to keep them on turned meals into a war zone. Seriously not a battle worth having - just wanted her to eat without dramas.

I either strip her to a vest / bodysuit or to bare skin whenever possible. Bizarrely the lack of a bib hasn't caused her to turn unto a feral monster - she is really quite tidy with her foods and will ask for her hands to be wiped if she's sticky.

Obviously it's up to you but children do get in a mess it's part of learning and it all comes off in the tub.

We gave up on bibs early on. Just invested in a good stain removing product! Your husband is creating an issue around mealtimes that could be really damaging in future. Tell him to pick his battles!

Another early giver upper on bibs. Now DS is 2 and just getting him to have more than a few mouthfuls is a battle too many.

My son stopped wearing bibs at about 17 months old. Would go mad if I put one on and try and rip it off. In the grand scheme of things I didn’t think it mattered too much so stopped fighting it. He’s now two and an incredibly tidy eater for his age I think.

Bibs are as sign of weakness imo 😁 (as in weak arms from a life without scrubbing stains out of babygrows)

I kid... obviously.

We gave up on them as I was doing that much washing and changing his outfits so often it didnt really matter 🤷🏼‍♀️ we just used to change him after a meal if he got covered. So much less stress.

Babies dont really need bibs. You just need microfibre cloths and flannels for after 😁

Tell your DH bibs are for commoners and that might change his mind (if the recent middle class threads are anything to go by!)

Seriously though. They're bloody pointless unless you're in a restaurant and baby has a nice outfit on. And even then we just take a change of clothes now.

I think we stopped with bibs around 14 months. Just seemed pointless as he would pull them off. I don't care if his clothes get stained because I buy them cheap or second hand.
Your dh is being an arse. I find it's very much a case of pick your battles with toddlers and this isn't one I'd be getting into.

I've never used bibs with any of my 3...your husband really said no bib, no food? That's so odd. Tbh, pick your battles because no food isn't a great option!

I think your DH is being too draconian with DS. It really really isn’t worth having a fight over. It’s not as if it’s even a habit you want him to have when he starts school or when he’s an adult.

What’s behind this? Is it that DH has to have the final say / power over the toddler? Is he weird with mess? Is he very image concious and doesn’t want a messy child?

It’s far more important to let your DS enjoy eating, your DH is creating drama where there really doesn’t need to be any.

I have a 19 month old and can't remember the last time I used a bib. Occasionally I use one with long sleeves but mostly I just strip her down to her nappy or vest when she's eating. Obviously not practical when out and about