Giving up on bibs - AIBU?

[PleaseLetMummySleep]

My 16 month old hates wearing a bib. Mealtimes involve him pulling it off several times. He is a good eater tho.

My DH is being v strict "no bib no food" and takes his plate away if he takes his bib off. This leads to crying and interrupts eating, so often he then won't eat any more even once he has his plate back.

I'm more relaxed and don't really care. I only insist on a bib if it's a messy meal like soup, otherwise if it's fingerfood I don't mind as he doesn't get very messy and I think it's not a battle that's worth having.

My DH said letting him eat with no bib is letting him run wild, he will ruin clothes etc 

Opinions please?

Your DH is going to create a whole load of issues with food and mess for your child. He needs to chill out. Just strip the baby to a nappy and wipe off with a flannel after dinner, problem solved!

I think it's worth picking your battles (or suggesting your dh does!?) eating is important and it will be messy. I agree a couple of t shirts in larger sizes is a good plan, I started buying cheaper clothes from the Sainsburys 25% off tu sales and realised that I wouldn't be sending these to friends once dc grew out of them!

I dont understand how your DH is being so strict about food but will feed your child a snack in the middle of the night. Surely this is more problematic and sending mixed messages?

Bloody hell these responses are predictably Mumsnetty! Your DH is being consistent and beginning to teach your child obedience.
Yes, it's tricky now but fuck me, it'll make life easier in the future.
Hint: It's not about the bib!

I'm not trying to teach my kids obedience. In the long run I'm trying to teach them how to be well adjusted adults.

Withdrawing food as a punishment isn’t productive. If anything you’re just setting your toddler up for food issues.
Obedience is great but not at the cost of a toddler not getting fed
.

What mumshappy said.
Your DH is being ridiculous

You can't teach a toddler 'obedience'. They can't understand it or process it any more than a baby could.

Ds hates bibs so we never used them. Usually he eats in just his nappy or in a t-shirt that is already covered in god knows what.

Taking food away from a toddler is just mean and counterproductive.

I don’t bother with bibs as DD pulls them off; if it’s something that would stain I’ll strip her down to her vest as I’m less worried by them being marked. I find with DD that I have to pick my battles and bibs aren’t one of them for me

At 18 months dd would have needed a hat as well as a full body bib to keep clean.The spoon waving alone could decorate a wall.
We tried not to notice although the washing for a small person is hugh.
How will he cope with painting,mud pies and the fact that if they have school meals they always c ome home with a small sample on their uniforms?

I've had four kids and I didn't use a bib for any of them. I didn't even own any after the first baby. They didn't have mushy food, just finger food and later on they had soup of whatever we had. For finger food there was really no mess and we stripped them for messy meals, since they'd have to be washed at some point anyway and babies are easier to clean than clothes.

This isn't a hill I'd choose to die on at all. Some children (and adults, I'm one of them) hate the feeling of anything touching the front of their necks. It can feel really choking even for light fabrics.

As for obedience training for toddlers, behave yourself! There are things they need to learn are absolute, but they mostly do that by learning that when you make a fuss, it's important. Making a fuss about everything or about minor issues just makes every issue the same. Hence a toddler won't know the difference between an urgent command and just normal non-important things.

Any messy meals mine just ate in nappies from about 9 months to 2 years....

Obviously not if we were out.

Also dark patterned clothes.

So much this. And do not make meal times miserable for a baby. Removing food. That's just fucking cruel and would seriously make me angry. Get your husband to wrap a thick scarf tightly round his neck and eat whilst wearing it. See how he likes it.

My ds refused bibs from the moment he could pull them off (about seven months). Food is messy when you're learning to eat. Let him be messy. He's a baby ffs.

This is one of those battles you just don’t fight. DD is 11 months so very messy. I just strip her off and wash her down and dress her when she’s done.

I have coveralls from Fill your Pants. Com that are amazing for my 2 youngest toddlers. Less washing = Happier me!

We strip the dts to their nappies for their breakfast porridge - bastard oats get everywhere.......

Breakfast legs!

Aquilla. How is stopping a small child eating and possibly giving him issues around food and the need not to make a mess helpful in the future.

At 16 months he won't understand discipline like that and why his food is being taken away, all he'll feel is hunger and the frustration of something vital, his food, being removed from him.

He needs to eat and he needs to learn to eat different things. The withdrawal of food is not something that should be used as a bargaining tool or punishment with anyone let alone a small child.

Withholding food from a baby to the point where he's waking up hungry in the night is not teaching discipline ffs.

DH is in for a shock with the food throwing, refusing to sit in high chair, laughing at him when he scolds her etc starts.