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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is impossible?

51 replies

Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 11:33

Trying to work from home as having childcare issues. AIBU to think this is impossible? If you manage it how? Tia xx

OP posts:
DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 27/12/2018 12:29

You can't combine working from home with childcare.
This is the truth, absolutely. For 7-ish years I had to do it because I had no other choice. It nearly killed me and I was a screaming, hysterical wreck at the end of it. My work was rubbish and I was a terrible mother. I hated everyone and I'm sure they hated me right back!
By trying to be all things to all people, you will be useless to all of them.

Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 12:33

It wasn't planned I have been trying to get DS into childcare he did his settles and then had a run of bad health. The nursery can only do PT hours now and not sure it's the right fit anyway. Am trying to find childcare urgently but not getting anywhere and won't until it's not holidays anymore I don't think. Which leaves me two options 1. Put off my work until childcares sorted or 2. Try and get some work done beforehand

I was going with put it off until childcares sorted but it's taking longer than I'd thought and deadlines looming

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 12:34

Also I became a single parent fairly recently

OP posts:
WhatsUpHun · 27/12/2018 12:35

when you have SAHP saying that looking after DC is a full time job, how can you possibly look after DC and WFH effectively?

Lazypuppy · 27/12/2018 12:36

I don' mean to soubd harsh, but th3 circumstances don't really chage anything. You can combine work/childcare. Most employers would not allow this, and also your colleagues are likely to start resenting you.

The work has to wait until childcare is sorted

Bluesmartiesarebest · 27/12/2018 12:57

Does your child see their father? Can you work during that time?

Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 12:57

I don't really have a choice
I have been trying to put it off until everything's sorted but I will run out of time

OP posts:
GenerationSnowflake · 27/12/2018 12:58

at best if your child naps, you can do 1 hour during the day, and work from say 8pm to 1am - it's still 6 hours a day 7 days a week (no weekend when you work with children I am afraid).

If you don't have to follow business hours, it's possible that way - but again it's exhausting in the long term. I did it for more than a year, can't say I enjoyed it!

Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 12:59

I wasn't the SAHP my ex was. Now we have split, leaving me with all the financial fall out and no childcare
We broke up due to abuse, he is not allowed to see DCs

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2018 13:00

I think working at the same time as doing childcare is impossible. You need child care.

Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 13:01

I only need to do this for 2-3 weeks tops until childcare is sorted

OP posts:
Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 13:02

Might have to give up on getting anything done during the day and focus on working in the evening.

OP posts:
Cherries101 · 27/12/2018 13:15

You need to use a childminder, babysitting or a nanny while working from home. If the 18 mo is climbing all over you, I strongly suggest you try and book holiday (paid or unpaid) instead and use it to find appropriate care. I have a childminder come in for my dn when I wfh and she’s nearly 7.

loubluee · 27/12/2018 13:17

My mil helped with my ds when he was little and I worked from home, it was still impossible.

HairyDogsFeet · 27/12/2018 13:26

Is your employer insured for working from home with children present? Mine wasnt and it was a massive international company

GruciusMalfoy · 27/12/2018 13:32

If possible you may have to try and cram as much in as possible in the evenings. But it's not feasible to work properly with a toddler around. They need so much attention.

LetsSplashMummy · 27/12/2018 13:36

Honestly, given your circumstances have changed so drastically and it's short term, ask friends and family to help. Nobody will think you cheeky, they are probably wanting to support you in some way.

If you have no support network, then start building one. Join a couple of single parent groups, local FB groups etc. At the very least they will be able to give you babysitter recommendations. Good luck, you're doing really well keeping it all together.

JessieMcJessie · 27/12/2018 13:38

Why on earth would you think it was possible? You wouldn’t take your child into the office and try to work with him there, why is it any different at home? Caring for an 18 month old is also a full time job. What makes you think you can do two jobs simultaneously? You need to take leave (annual or unpaid) from your job until you have childcare. Parental leave may be available for this, have you looked into that?

JessieMcJessie · 27/12/2018 13:42

Anyone being given permission to WFH for my company has to sign to say they have childcare in place during working hours. Trying to work while responsible for a child would be a breach of our employment contract. At a push you could maybe do some work while your child is asleep but your employer would need to consent to you not working full days or during normal working hours.

Chocaholicjellybelly · 27/12/2018 13:58

I never had the luxury (?) of being able to work from home when my DC were young( work for NHS),but I couldn’t imagine getting any work done with an 18 month old constantly wanting my attention.

Original poster
Bumblebee39 · 27/12/2018 16:07

I think I may have solved the child care issue thankfully
Going to try and put an hour in in the evenings where I can so I'm not too far behind but otherwise focus on DCs

OP posts:
WishIwas19again · 27/12/2018 16:16

Impossible. My Dh and I work from home occasionally and recently tag teamed a day working from home whilst looking after our sick 14 month old (we had deadlines for that day and neither of us felt we could take more leave as we had both already had time off the week before when he was ill with something else -bloody nursery!).

Was a nightmare as except for his naps was so hard as he was clingy with being poorly and it wasn't fair to him so we felt so guilty.

ToffeePennie · 27/12/2018 16:51

I do it. I run a fairly successful business from our living room: my baby (13 months) plays on the floor/chats to me and I do my work on my laptop/do the design work etc then when he has a nap I do the heavy work and the element of my work that requires a lot of heat. That way I’ve done all my website and Facebook orders for that day.
Then I do orders through a shop front/word of mouth when the kids are in bed.
All advertising is done around the kids (leaflet drops when I take the big one to school or Facebook when I’m waiting to collect for example) and I have Mondays off to attend a baby group.
It works well for me and my family and I seem to be making some money from it so it can be done, yes.

JessieMcJessie · 27/12/2018 17:34

ToffeePennie working for yourself is completely different to working for an employer though. You are not contractually obliged to do anything.

ToffeePennie · 31/12/2018 09:35

I agree the contractually obliged bit is different but if I don’t work, we won’t pay the mortgage. So although I don’t “have” to do anything I do need to do stuff.
But the question was “is it impossible” the answer is no, it’s not impossible.

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