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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Brother’s lunch invitation

36 replies

TerracottaDream · 26/12/2018 20:22

Knowing my mother-in-law was coming for Christmas and was eager to babysit my sister-in-law invited us over. I was shocked when it turned out to be a lunch invitation and was even more shocked when we arrived to find my niece and nephew were at home.
I mumbled something about how I would have brought the kids if I’d known to be immediately shot down by my brother and sister-in-law.
Apparently their kids behave impeccably when they’re on their own but misbehave when other kids are around and the whole afternoon would have been spent dealing with them.
My other brother died; he was ill but the end came unexpectedly. Family is important to me.
Would you be pissed off?

OP posts:
Nothininmenoggin · 26/12/2018 20:27

Actually no I wouldn't be and I don't exactly understand why you areConfused

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2018 20:28

Would you be pissed off?

What by? Have you missed out a paragraph?

Santaisonthesherry · 26/12/2018 20:28

At least they blamed their dc and not yours!!

AGHHHH · 26/12/2018 20:29

I'm lost...

todayisnotthedayy · 26/12/2018 20:29

I don't understand the problem

MyPoodleisWorthTenofYou · 26/12/2018 20:30

I don’t understand what you’re apparently so ‘shocked ’ about.

FlirtyRomanticToast · 26/12/2018 20:30

Are you angry that your DC weren't invited but their cousins were?

Bouncebacker · 26/12/2018 20:30

yep, I would be put out by this. YANBU. I love my kids and want to spend time with them so would want them to be invited to a lunch time event with other children, and we get so so little child free time that I’d hate to spend it with other people’s kids, however much I like them!

Returnofthesmileybar · 26/12/2018 20:30

Loads of kids are like this though, my nephew turns from a lovely kid into a nightmare around my kids. They blamed their own kids and not yours so I don't see the problem really

bbcessex · 26/12/2018 20:31

Do you mean you thought it would be adults only, OP, and it’s a ‘waste’ of a babysit as their kids were there??

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 26/12/2018 20:31

No I wouldn't be pissed off if my brother invited me to lunch and I don't know why you are

bbcessex · 26/12/2018 20:31

Because if you do, I agree!!

GimmeGimmeHellYeah · 26/12/2018 20:32

I'd cherish the time spent with my niece and nephew.

Myneighboursnorlax · 26/12/2018 20:32

Why would you be shocked that your niece and nephew were in their own home? This reads like a reverse to me...

ThistleAmore · 26/12/2018 20:32

No: it sounds as though they know their children's limits and, as they were keen to spend time with you and not their/your children, they put the limits in place appropriately. Presumably your mother was quite happy to babysit?

Family is important to me and my immediate siblings and cousins too: but as half have children and half are childfree, we plan accordingly, because it's important for the adult part of the family to spend time together without having to herd kids all the time.

LordEmsworth · 26/12/2018 20:33

So your brother's wife invited you for lunch, because she knew your husband's mum wanted to babysit for you, and you were expecting your niece and nephew wouldn't be there, but they were.

It's odd but hardly shocking surely?! I wouldn't be pissed off, no. Though it wouldn't happen in my family, but equally I wouldn't blame my SIL for something that presumably my brother knew about and had agreed to either, so presumably we have different family dynamics...

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2018 20:33

I mumbled something about how I would have brought the kids if I’d known to be immediately shot down by my brother and sister-in-law.

Why didn't you bring the kids? Didn't you want them to see their auntie and uncle? Xmas Confused

**

todayisnotthedayy · 26/12/2018 20:34

@LordEmsworth I finally understood what the OP was about after your summary, thanksGrin

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2018 20:35

Why would you be shocked that your niece and nephew were in their own home? This reads like a reverse to me...

Quite possibly. OP hasn't yet returned to the thread to clarify, which could mean she's waiting for the YABU posts to stack up before the big reveal.

I hope not though. The firing squad really is too good for reversers. 🔫🔫🔫

Returnofthesmileybar · 26/12/2018 20:38

Although it does seem like a waste of a babysitter so from that point of view I might be a bit miffed but not from the perspective of my kids not being invited, if you get me

FlyingElbows · 26/12/2018 20:40

Nope, I'm not getting why you didn't just ask beforehand. Why on earth are you surprised that your brother's children were in their own home? Honest to god at least 90% of the issues people post about on mn could be very easily avoided or sorted with simple conversation.

Original poster
TerracottaDream · 26/12/2018 20:43

My kids weren’t invited so my mother-in-law babysat. I assumed their kids would be with her family.
I am upset that my kids weren’t invited to play with their cousins. I am not blaming my sister-in-law but her and my brother equally.

OP posts:
bbcessex · 26/12/2018 20:51

Terracotta - I agree with you.
Why would you leave your own DC for an afternoon with other DC, unwittingly.

All fine if you had known & were happy with the plans beforehand.

Quite weird of your brother & SIL to spring it on you.

Are they generally odd?

abacucat · 26/12/2018 20:56

Sounds like they actually wanted the chance for the adults to talk without dealing with their kids misbehaving. Fine IMO

abacucat · 26/12/2018 20:57

Either that or your DCs are a nightmare. Only you knwo which scenario is true.

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