AIBU to feel uncomfortable going to my boyfriends for the holiday?

[Whateverletmepost]

I think I’m totally over reacting. I was supposed to spend yesterday with my bf’s family, but ended up not going after he let slip that he’d told his mother in depth about recent blazing rows we’d been having. He tells his mom everything. This made me uncomfortable and I couldn’t bring myself to go down.

So that I didn’t spend the rest of the holidays alone, I said I might come down today. He was sweet as pie, saying no pressure, anytime you want to come down is fine. I still felt awkward but messaged him asking if I could come down today. He replied oh we didn’t realise you wanted to come down today, I’ll have to ask as we’ll have to rearrange things. He also said I could only come for a couple of days instead of the original five.

I know they have no obligation to have me. But the whole situation now feels as awkward as fuck and I’m torn between desperately not wanting to be a burden, and potentially be staying with a family who don’t like me, and also not wanting to spend the holidays alone.

I’ve also just quit nicotine, so I don’t trust my emotions.

Him telling his mother about your rows would be a total deal breaker for me. He has violated your privacy and tarnished your relationship with his mother before it's even begun. You need to have a serious think about this relationship.

Sorry but fuck that -I'd be the same as you. I probably wouldn't bother continuing the relationship.

Thanks, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal at all and said how dare I be upset when he is giving me the privilege of allowing me to stay in his family home at Christmas. He said he hopes I’ve realised how badly I’ve treated him by being upset

I’m so relieved to hear you guys say that, thank you

It feels as awkward as fuck because it bloody is

You bailed at the last minute and now you’re scratching around to be invited back again.

It’s rude and I’d be so embarrassed if I were you.

If the roles were reversed surely he would feel uncomfortable to?
I hope it's you using the word privilege to describe the stay 😂 have u been together long?

Ditch him.

He's basically told you already your feelings don't matter and you aren't allowed to feel upset.

Redken no only a few months. He said the word privilege. I’m so upset and feel like a child because I don’t want to be in a shitty student house over the holidays on my own. But I feel so fucking awkward about going there now.

He kicks off if I even mention we’ve fought to my friends

Youarenotkiddingme yeah that’s the jist of most of our arguments

Oh, avoid like the plague! Look at this as your last mistake of 2018! Start afresh for next year - he doesn't sound a catch at all. Don't go to his family just to avoid your student accommodation.

Couple of months, leave him. He’s a twat

Oh wow, he sounds fucking terrible. I would consider it a lucky escape and dump! Merry Christmas

That would be the end of him, he violated your privacy, made you look bad to his mother, and is talking to you like he is some kind of demi god, no thanks.

He's a mummy's boy - it can only get worse.

Aside from the current situation, if you are already having "blazing rows" after a few months then you aren't in the right relationship.

I would rather be in my student house, than with him.

He’s now said tomorrow is more convenient. So I’ve spent two hours packing and getting ready. For nothing. I’m so so fucking angry right now. Christmas and Boxing Day on my own. Fuck him.

Stuff him op, dump his arse, new year, new start. Take pride in yourself.

Ive never felt surer about cutting someone off. Thanks everyone for the supportive comments.

Tbh blazing rows would be the end for me. Life is short.

The rest is just gravy,

Gamerchick they absolutely were for me, but I always caved and took him back. I would keep asking to drop whatever we would argue about, and he would refuse/be unable to. Such a shit relationship.

Then it's time to get rid OP. This isn't what you need.

Do not take him back this time. Honestly it's not worth it.

Jaysus OP, no. That's not how it's supposed to work. Bin him.

You are definitely better off without being with him. He is already showing signs of being emotionally abusive. Several red flags here:

It's all about him,

You are supposed to think you're lucky to be allowed to spend time with his family,

You're to allowed to have a different opinion and he can't even agree to disagree,

He discloses private relationships issues to others.

Bin him off.

Do you have any friends who would invite you to spend the rest of the holiday with? My Eldest DD is at uni and I would happily have a friend of hers who was all alone for Christmas come and stay.