Child giving expensive gift

[twentytimes]

DSD(10) got a necklace earlier this year which her friend really loved and had asked for the same one for christmas, they have both been really excited about having matching ones.

Her friend didn't get the necklace and DSD has asked if she can buy her friend the necklace which costs £125 for her birthday in a few weeks. She can afford to do this if she wants but I think it's too much for a child to spend on a present and it will be awkward for the friend and her parents as they either couldn't afford to buy it themselves or didn't want their dd to have it.

Do other parents agree it would be unreasonable for a child to buy such an expensive gift for a friend?

Yes

She could give some vouchers for the company (maybe 20-50) and the parents could top up the rest? I agree though, the necklace is inappropriately expensive for her to buy as a gift.

Too expensive for a 10 year old. Which is probably why the friend's parents didn't buy her the necklace in the first place.

Your DD could buy two matching necklaces for much, much less than £125 that would satisfy the desire to "have the same"

Totally unreasonable. I’d feel so uncomfortable if my DD received something expensive like that from a friend. It is such a kind thought by your DD though.

Absolutely not appropriate.

No, it’s far too much money for children that age to spend on a friend. If the friend’s parents didn’t buy it for her, it’s most likely either because they can’t afford it or don’t want her to have it - so either way, your DD giving it to her is unlikely to be welcomed.

It’s a lovely thought on your DD’s part, but a good opportunity to talk about gift etiquette and so forth.

Of course it’s unreasonable, need you ask.

You should have managed the situation and explained to your DD that the necklace was a special piece to be worn on special occasions and maybe both girls could get much, much cheaper friendship necklaces.

Not many 10 year olds would wear expensive necklaces on a daily basis.

Give a jewellery voucher for £20

I'd probably make her return it to your daughter tbh it's far too expensive a gift.
As pp said you can buy inexpensive best friend matching necklaces for much much less.

Yes too much and awkward when it gets to your dsd birthday that they may not be able to reciprocate x

Thanks, I do think its unreasonable and wouldnt need to ask.
Shes not my dd though, shes my dsd and her dad thinks it shouldn't matter so needed other parents opinions to show him would would matter to most people.

Yes too much.

Yes, a bit embarrassing for a child to spend so much but as has been suggested, a voucher for the jewellers would be appropriate and maybe family members will give her money so she can get her necklace.

You could try looking on ebay, it's amazing what people sell on there quite cheaply, maybe not in its original box or in a damaged box. If you found the same necklace on there you could say you got it on ebay to save embarrassment.

Your daughter sounds like a lovely, kind hearted girl.

Way too much. I would be so embarrassed as a parent.

Take her to Claires and she can buy one of those pairs of "best friend" necklaces. They're perfect for that age.

Far too much. The people who gave money to your DD wouldn't want it spent on other kids. There is also a manor thing of not copying other people's expensive jewellery.

It could also lead to friendship issues 'buying' friends. Other kids trying to befriend your DD to get expensive gifts.

I would suggest 2 jewellery or friendship bracelet kits. So they can have the same without spending a fortune.

Far too much. Ridiculous. Agree with going to Claire's and buying matching necklaces there.

I agree it's too much. Couldn't they buy a couple of cheap ones that match?

“There is also a manor thing of not copying other people's expensive jewellery

What on earth does this mean?

Yanbu what's the necklace?

i’m not being a dick, by the way-i’m assuming manor is a typo for manners. But I still don’t understand.

I coul afford a £125 necklace for my 10yo, but I wouldn’t get her one because I think that’s an absence amount of money to spend. Not just because children more easily damage things, or change their tastes - but because I simply don’t think that children should think it’s a normal amount to spend on a necklace. I would be really pissed off if someone bought that for my child without asking me of it was OK first. (and even if I would say yes, I’d still expect it to be checked with me)

Will be upset when friend loses it. Dad is an idiot

If I’d given your DSD cash I’d be really upset if she spent it on her friend. As the friend’s parent I’d feel awkward because no way could I reciprocate such an expensive gift. And as the parent you need to teach DSD about boundaries and what’s appropriate to spend on others. Otherwise she’ll grow up being taken advantage of. When I was a teen my friend talked me into gifting a £150 bracelet because I had the money - nobody had taught me that having the money doesn’t mean you should give it away, and I was naive and hadn’t leaned that unscrupulous people will fleece you if they can. I do wonder how much of this is coming from the friend who wants a necklace she can’t afford??

“There is also a manor thing of not copying other people's expensive jewellery
What on earth does this mean?

Its bad manors to go out and buy jewellery that's exactly the same as a friends. Plenty of nice pieces of jewellery out there without copying exactly what somebody else has. Maybe the other girls parents were trying to teach that, not to mention avoiding keeping up with the Jones.

The girls parents were may be also concerned that if the girls fall out she won't want it any more. Not to mention concerns about it getting broken or lost.

Yes I do have issues with spelling.