Almost 7 year old worst loser

[Ansumpasty]

AIBU to have come out of my son’s room thinking ‘yuck’

Some alone time with my almost 7yo son while the others are out. Thought we’d get out some new games he got for Christmas.

Every time he loses, he literally storms off saying he hates the game or even starts to cry and say he’s never playing it again.

How do I stop this repulsive behaviour (besides letting him win every time, which can’t be good) or is he destined to be one of those awful people who swipe the counters from the board game when they lose!?

Ha ha my nearly 10 yo DS is a shocker of a loser and an even worse winner! He can start crying playing games at after school club if he is losing, I am wondering what the other children must think of that!
Think you've had some good advice already am going to use some of it in this house!
Also, I have no problem with your language, it's appalling when your child behaves like that and I should know!

I feel for you OP. This is anecdotal, but I think children take longer to grow out of this stage nowadays due to life being generally a lot more instantly gratifying than it used to be.

My sister was like this but she is a multi millionaire now and very successful and driven so it might not be a bad thing in the long term! My daughter is the complete opposite, she tries to help others win because she feels bad beating other people. She waits for friends to catch up in races on sports day. I despair a little bit about her lack of competitiveness too!

How on earth did you fathom that I don’t like my own child or spend much time with him because I said to other adults on a forum that his behaviour was repulsive. Jesus wept, some people hmm

You're the one who worded your post. An OTT reaction to your child's OTT reaction. He's 7, still very little and you've written off as a future awful person (your words)

My Dneice was like this as a child, she was a demon and refused to change. Now she is determined, ambitious young lady, and will be her best at all times, With her winner mentality. It can be a also be strong character.

Ooh I like that link Allthewaves animatebehavior.com/autism/7-tips-to-help-your-child-with-autism-deal-with-losing/ - I think DS is just about old enough to start practising that kind of thing together.

Another player at a geeky games night I attend did a 'rage quit' off of a board game a few weeks ago.

He's in his forties.

In his defence, the game wasn't adequately explained before we started and his positioning of his pieces pretty much spelt out the end of the game, but it was rather odd for me. As a beginner to many of the games we play, I often realise I'm going to come at the bottom because I haven't learnt any strategy yet.

Keep going, praise any positive efforts even if they still don't produce the required outcome.

Some kids just are harder to play with.

Sounds totally normal to me, kids can’t really manage their emotions yet. Games like that are always going to stir up bad feelings if he’s losing, and it’s an important lesson for him. Don’t give up but be understanding.

When ds2 was 7 he wouldnt even play competitive games in case he lost. We started to get him past that by letting him play on behalf of his teddy (he could just about cope if the teddy lost), then by doing team games so he could be part of a team that won or lost then, and he eventually grew out of it. So don't lose hope just yet.

You have to “let” them win occasionally. Then you can explain the difference between gracious winner and loser. Surely no child ever sat down and just learned to play a game fairly and squarely, that’s where dads, mums, older siblings and grandparents enter.

You need to remember that hardly any kids are their best selves on Boxing Day. As adults we expect them to be grateful and lovely and coping over their presents and how wonderfully they have been treated.

The reality is that Christmas has been building up for weeks then huge excitement on the day and Boxing Day is like a giant come down. Excitement and magic are done, the toys turn out to be simply toys, and most of them are a bit deflated. Children’s Christmas Hangover.

You sound like you have a touch of it as well.

This sounds mad, in fact it is mad, but as a child my Mum and Dad were so sick of my brother, sister and I kicking shit out of one another each time we played Monopoly, Scrabble or Cluedo that they bought a crown (not a real one, one of those Miss Congeniality crowns made from sadness) and at the end of every game they'd give the Losers Crown to whoever lost but wasn't a dick. How they didn't sell us is beyond me; we were such a competitive family and so many of my Christmas memories are of us shrieking and crying about Park lane.

I've continued the tradition and our kitchen windowsill contains a Loser Crown that the DC have grown up loving.

However, Christmas is a fractious time and emotions and tiredness and excitement all throw children out of kilter, so I tend to make more allowances at this time of year than I would do generally. Just keep playing, keep having a go and keep reminding him about the fun of playing for a laugh. It'll take time but he'll get there.

My DS was like this at 7, he's nearly 9 now and seems to have grown out of it. We found rugby (or any sport) was the way thing for him. They really encourage managing winning and loosing well.

My DS was like this at 7. He’s still like it at 11 in spite of many of the suggestions here. We are a family heavily into gaming and he adores games of all types, as long as he’s winning. If it looks like he is losing we get dramatic sighs, “X has won, no point in playing now”, stomping off to his room, “fine, I’ll go if you don’t want me” type behaviour.

No help to OP but your DS isn’t alone! I’m going to try the 7 tips linked to above though.

I think having a sore loser or not, largely depends on the winner's behaviour. A gracious winner, no crowing or boasting, helps a lot.

My 7 year old is a sore loser too. We laugh it off.

With the 'best loser' idea, surely that's just another thing for them to get grumpy about if they don't win that either?!

DS (8) is both a sore winner and sore loser! He is improving, but it's not unheard of for both him and my 5yo to be wailing and sobbing because they got knocked out of a group game at Brownies. His classmates just ignore him

Hnrtft but if it's of any comfort my DS1 now 14 was the worst loser in history (what you describe with a few bells on) and he's fine now. Still what I call a "sensitive soul", ie finds it hard to laugh at himself & hates any form of teasing however gentle, but he's learned how to lose at a games without going mad! Persevere - play more games, with more players, try not to lose your rag, he will grow out of it!

because they got knocked out of a group game at Brownies

Erm isn't brownies a girls group?