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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking this woman is over dramatic... (Title edited by MNHQ)

47 replies

DeloresJaneUmbridge · 26/12/2018 12:30

So ...we have an American friend staying here with us as she’s a complete Anglophile and loves England especially for its history. A few months ago she more or less invited herself to stay for Xmas . Now at the time I was anxious, I am autistic and I struggle with organisation. Therefore although I love guests it’s a struggle for me mentally trying to keep on top of everything so that all stays as it should.

Since she has been with us it’s been a complete nightmare, she’s needy and has an odd relationship with her family, this has led to some loud arguments between them over the phone which usually ends with her throwing her phone and storming off into the night so we have to go and find her.

The airline she flew in with messed up her booking on the journey here so she had a row with them which culminated in them cancelling her return flight. As she has limited funds DH has forked out over £400 to book her an alternate flight ....the other airline are refunding her and then she will pay him back.

On top of this she has developed a heavy cold which isn’t her fault and is hideous when it’s both Christmas and her holiday,

She decided therefore to go to a nearby hotel to stay so she could have bedrest. She has constantly been on the phone and web chatting to her doctor back home. Her temp has been a bit up and down and we’ve been taking in food to her or she has been eating here depending upon how she feels. I did her a Christmas dinner yeasterday as she didn’t feel up to coming over.

She is due to come over today but has now booked a Skype call with her doctor to make sure it’s okay to fly home tomorrow. She “might come over about 6pm” which means hubby can’t drink all day. I can’t pick her up as I have an ankle injury which means I can’t drive at the moment.

The above doesn’t sound much but it’s been a constant drama since she arrived and although she’s nice I am going to be so glad when she home.

I don’t know what my unreasonable is. Maybe AIBU to want to see the back of her?

Or am I just horrible?

I haven’t displayed any of this to her....just fed her, provided lemsip, sympathised, offered to get medical care etc.

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 26/12/2018 12:32

No, this isn't an American being weird thing, this is just a person being weird thing

Tell her to get a taxi to / from yours if she wants to come

Butchyrestingface · 26/12/2018 12:34

Your thread title is a bit daft. Clearly all Americans don't behave like her.

Is your husband going to get his £400 back?

BumDisease · 26/12/2018 12:35

What does any of this have to do with her being American?

Original poster
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 26/12/2018 12:35

Yes agree my thread title is indeed daft...wish I could edit it but I can’t.

Yes hubby will get the money back. He other airline say the money will be back with her in 5-6 working days,

OP posts:
Original poster
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 26/12/2018 12:36

Yes it’s a crap thread title....I get it. I’ll MNHQ to edit it,

OP posts:
TheMaddHugger · 26/12/2018 12:42

Lol. Good Lord No. She is Not typical of Americans at all. I bet most of them avoid her.

((((((Hugs))))))🌻

DanglyBangly · 26/12/2018 12:46

Skyping her doctor is an American thing - no one here does that (imagine if we could!)

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 26/12/2018 12:48

Most of that sounds like you’d rather put up with the annoyance than tell her to get a cab, or no you won’t be driving her dinner over.

I’m a firm believer in guests fitting in with their hosts plans not dictating their expectations. It’s perfectly reasonable to tell her your plans and she can fit her stuff round it.

InSightMars · 26/12/2018 12:50

I think if I had a guest as difficult as this one I’d happily pay whatever it takes to get rid. You and your DH sound lovely to have put up with her and it’s horrible that she’s pretty much ruined your Christmas. Honestly, having got this far, I’d just suck it up until she leaves tomorrow then make up for it over the New Year.

FlippinNora1 · 26/12/2018 12:52

Stop being dictated to by her! Just tell her no lifts tomorrow as OH is going to drink.

In the same way she can be loud and demanding, you can be firm and refuse to do certain things. You have been more than generous and kind.

She sounds a nightmare!

InSightMars · 26/12/2018 12:55

DanglyBangly No, Skyping her doctor is her thing not an American thing. I’ve lived in the USA for 15 years and know precisely zero Americans for whom this is a thing.

ShowOfHands · 26/12/2018 12:55

My friend has her American SIL and nephew staying for Christmas and she has a cold. She's been face timing her doctor and her DS's paediatrician regularly for advice. I wonder if it's part of the healthcare package?

The rest of the behaviours are just person specific.

BerylStreep · 26/12/2018 12:55

Oh dear, what a drama llama. Hopefully she will be gone soon. It was actually pretty good that she booked into a hotel.

sackrifice · 26/12/2018 12:58

Let your husband have a drink, if she calls to come over say 'no prob, let me know what time you are going to get here'.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/12/2018 12:59

I'm almost wishing this is a wind up ... if it's not, why on earth are you pandering to her like this?? Confused

I could just about put up with the phone throwing or the loan needed for the return flight or the "got a cold/need bed rest" or the "need" for meals to be delivered (don't the hotel do food??) but not all of them

Another vote here for no more lifts; if she wants to come she can get herself to yours

MamaLovesMango · 26/12/2018 12:59

Stop looking after her. She’s an adult, she can look after herself, feed herself, get about herself, especially if she isn’t staying with you.

FleeceDetective · 26/12/2018 13:03

I remember your thread about her when she booked to come over you. You knew it would be an unpleasant disaster then, turns out it was.

Omzlas · 26/12/2018 13:04

She's a drama queen - stop pandering to her

Also - she has a cold, not the bubonic plague. Paracetamol will sort her right out, the fuss is just ridiculous and boils my piss when people act like they're dying.... cough dressing gown of doom cough

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 26/12/2018 13:06

You don’t have to run round after her. She sounds an absolute pain.

Cherries101 · 26/12/2018 13:06

Americans tend to take their health more seriously. Nothing your friend has done regarding her health surprises me as it’s something most of my north american friends have done

Original poster
DeloresJaneUmbridge · 26/12/2018 13:08

She's going home tomorrow and tbh I am breathing a sigh of relief.

We've been able to enjoy Xmas but I can't deny I have worried about her being ill.

OP posts:
Crocky · 26/12/2018 13:10

She has limited funds but has enough for the hotel?

Simulcrum · 26/12/2018 13:12

It will soon be over, so makebtge best of it.

NottonightJosepheen · 26/12/2018 13:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HashTagLil · 26/12/2018 13:17

She has limited funds but has enough for the hotel?

That was my first thought too.

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