in thinking this woman is over dramatic... (Title edited by MNHQ)

[DeloresJaneUmbridge]

So ...we have an American friend staying here with us as she’s a complete Anglophile and loves England especially for its history. A few months ago she more or less invited herself to stay for Xmas . Now at the time I was anxious, I am autistic and I struggle with organisation. Therefore although I love guests it’s a struggle for me mentally trying to keep on top of everything so that all stays as it should.

Since she has been with us it’s been a complete nightmare, she’s needy and has an odd relationship with her family, this has led to some loud arguments between them over the phone which usually ends with her throwing her phone and storming off into the night so we have to go and find her.

The airline she flew in with messed up her booking on the journey here so she had a row with them which culminated in them cancelling her return flight. As she has limited funds DH has forked out over £400 to book her an alternate flight ....the other airline are refunding her and then she will pay him back.

On top of this she has developed a heavy cold which isn’t her fault and is hideous when it’s both Christmas and her holiday,

She decided therefore to go to a nearby hotel to stay so she could have bedrest. She has constantly been on the phone and web chatting to her doctor back home. Her temp has been a bit up and down and we’ve been taking in food to her or she has been eating here depending upon how she feels. I did her a Christmas dinner yeasterday as she didn’t feel up to coming over.

She is due to come over today but has now booked a Skype call with her doctor to make sure it’s okay to fly home tomorrow. She “might come over about 6pm” which means hubby can’t drink all day. I can’t pick her up as I have an ankle injury which means I can’t drive at the moment.

The above doesn’t sound much but it’s been a constant drama since she arrived and although she’s nice I am going to be so glad when she home.

I don’t know what my unreasonable is. Maybe AIBU to want to see the back of her?

Or am I just horrible?

I haven’t displayed any of this to her....just fed her, provided lemsip, sympathised, offered to get medical care etc.

So she's got enough money for a hotel but not for flights, eh?

So she's in a hotel & you're taking meals to her??

Are you sure that she ever had a return booking (must have been some argument to get it cancelled) & that it's her GP she's skyping?

Sounds like a crock of shit to e!

YANBU. If you are unhappy with her being there,it's OK to ask her to go.

*Stop being dictated to by her! Just tell her no lifts tomorrow as OH is going to drink.

In the same way she can be loud and demanding, you can be firm and refuse to do certain things. You have been more than generous and kind.

She sounds a nightmare!*

This

Just do it

Well I'd be bloody relieved to see her go.

OP, you are choosing to do these things. People can’t ‘invite themselves’, make you pay for their flights, ferry them about or deliver food to their hotel, let alone continually going to find them when they’ve had a row with family and stomped off.

You are choosing to aid and abet her selfish, melodramatic behaviour. Ask yourself why, and don’t do it again.

She sounds like an utter nightmare

But this bit isn't true... A few months ago she more or less invited herself to stay for Xmas

You and your DH invited her. Lesson learnt no doubt.

Hope you see the back of her soon so you can relax on NYE

sounds a lot of hoo ha medically just for a cold not even flu could justify that lucky for you she decided to go to a hotel in the end if shes at a hotel cant she eat there instead of you doing her meals?

I have American family on DH's side and this isn't a culturally thing - she just sounds odd and very dramatic.

She sounds like a nightmare.

Perhaps you should stop running around after her so much. She has a cold - not double pneumonia! Don't pick her up but tell her to get a Taxi/Uber if she is feeling well enough to come over later.

It will soon be over. Never again aye? Some friends are OK in small doses. You've behaved impeccably, give yourself a pat on the back.

Tomorrow night, a big sigh of relief and a drink. Put your feet up.

I've been in the USA for 17 years and happen to have several doctor in-laws. I have never heard of a doctor here who would be happy to be bothered constantly on demand over the holidays unless perhaps they were working. That sounds strange, I have used health care phone consultations staffed by nurses that my health insurance provides but not my regular doctor. In more rural areas some doctors do provide telemedicine (basically skype consultations) but they are strictly regulated and a doctor cannot give a skype consultation to a patient in a different state if the doctor is not licensed in that state etc... so it feels weird to think a doctor is happy to be professionally diagnosing your friend overseas... I'm not saying it isn't possible just not the common practice and I definitely know my doctor inlaws would not communicate with a patient like this or allow the patient to keep bothering them...

If she can afford a hotel she can afford a taxi. Text the the number of the local cab company.

She has limited funds but has enough for the hotel?

An interesting point ...

Is this the same friend who was meant to be staying with your SIL bc she couldn't afford a hotel when she initially booked the trip?

If so, why isn't she there and when did it morph into her staying with you? Also, where did the funds for the hotel come from when she originally didn't have the money and equally doesn't have the money for a return flight?

The very same

Yes she stayed with SIL who didn't charge her anything. However plans changed when SIL went to stay with my in-laws for Xmas as they didn't feel up to the drive (they are over 200 miles away) so I said she could kip on the sofa as we have no spare room or bed.
The money she was going to give SIL has now gone on the hotel. It's a local travellodge so not mega expensive.

Am glad she is going home tomorrow.

Why would someone call a doctor over the common cold virus? Is she 12? There’s nothing a doctor can do. Bizarre.

I'm a Yank. You have to be VERY firm with some of them re visits- cash, timing, length of stay. When they're bad, they're rotten.

Thanks all.

She's gone.

DH took her to the airport this morning (yes that was planned)

He's now on his way back.

I'll be sitting him down to check that he has not subbed her hotel bills. I know she was expecting a payment to her account which would account for her being able to pay for the hotel but I do want to double check. DH is a pushover for a sob story.

He's definitely funded the flight home and will get that back.

I also know that while she was waiting for the payment she had a tooth abcess so had to see a dentist here which cost £90 and I know DH paid that bill.....again she was going to pay him back. I always see the good in people so am expecting she will pay back. Let's see if I am right.

She’s gone...and DH has said he funded nothing else other than the dental trip which she has already paid him back for and the flight which she will pay back next week,

Her plane is now In the air.

I do like her but.....never again lol.