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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish I had fewer but nicer christmas gifts?

59 replies

qauren · 26/12/2018 06:13

My family are very generous, therefore I’m very lucky, and appreciative.

The issue is, they buy lots and lots and lots of “smaller” things. Whilst lovely, clutter up my limited space and must cost a lot of money. They refuse to buy “big” items.

Personally I’d rather have fewer gifts in number, but have nicer ones per se? Rather than three pairs of tesco pyjamas, i’d rather one really nice laura ashley pair etc. Or perhaps rather than small bits and bobs that in total cost a heck of a lot, I’d rather a silver bracelet.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsGg8 · 26/12/2018 06:15

YABU. These are gifts from your family and you do sound a little ungrateful.

Maybe if they ask you what you would like next year you can be more specific if it bothers you that much

Loopyloopy · 26/12/2018 06:18

I get it. I've dealt with it by suggesting a $30 limit - at least it keeps the volume in check.

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/12/2018 06:47

Dp mum always buys us a load of random bits, we have a very tiny house and I hate having clutter. I hate asking for specific items with people other than my personal family as I don't like to think I may have gone over budget etc.

I have now learnt my lesson, 'dayman, daymandp, what would you like for Christmas?' 'vacuum cleaner' (not actual thing we requested) done! No tat! Sorted.

Yura · 26/12/2018 06:50

Not ungrateful- giving people loads of stuff is for the benefit of the giver, not the person the gift is for!
we have a £20 limit wich helps

RedRedBluee · 26/12/2018 06:52

Yanbu.
I strongly agree! It’s sooo wasteful to receive a load of cheap tat that you’ll throw in a cupboard and forget about rather than one lovely item you’ll use all the time.

Crimbobimbo · 26/12/2018 07:04

YANBU.

rcat · 26/12/2018 07:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thighofrelief · 26/12/2018 07:11

On the fence here. If it's lots of consumables ie chocolate and bubble bath quantity over quality is key. If it's more STUFF where to put it all. It's sad really people try, i try, I'm sure PP upthread is right that only the giver enjoys.

ImogenTubbs · 26/12/2018 07:13

I totally understand. Over the years my family have collectively agreed that we all have too much clutter and are now much more relaxed about basically just telling each other what we'd like to limit the amount of random tat. I wouldn't raise it right now after you've received the presents, but maybe when the topic of Christmas comes up next year?

thighofrelief · 26/12/2018 07:15

Someone gave me Jo Malone body lotion and i know it's lovely and expensive but it's getting regifted because I can't get through all the body lotion i already have. Does anyone ever actually get through the stuff?

OlennasWimple · 26/12/2018 07:34

YANBU

MIL (who is lovely, so this is not a MIL rant!!) does this. She asks what we want, so say something like PJs. She will get us lovely PJs but then also a Toblerone, Lynx shower gel, a picture frame, a jokey book etc etc etc. It's very kind, but I'd rather she saved the money than buy lots of bits, which collectively cost quite a bit even if individually they aren't expensive

ChampooPapi · 26/12/2018 07:35

Yanbu. My mother does this every year and 90% goes into a black bin bag ready for charity shop donation.

I definitely agree with the poster regarding doing it this way is actually a gift for a giver really.

It's a cheap and selfish option in some ways, unless your buying for children who do love opening lots and having random bits.

NeedAUsernameGenerator · 26/12/2018 07:43

I opened 6 lovely presents yesterday (3 from DH, 1 from each DC and 1 other because we do secret santa). Much preferred to stacks of chocolates, cosmetics I don't use etc. Although I would be very happy with 3 pairs of Tesco PJs (and your local food bank might too if you really hate them)!

Ethel36 · 26/12/2018 07:45

I cant stand waste either. This is the reason why I tell everyone not to buy presents for my husband and I. Only gift to the children and likewise we just gift to the children in the family. I have even wrapped our presents this year in brown paper. I bought good quality slippers and lovely mugs for our children to give to my husband and I. Tat, crap and overflowing bins drive me crazy!

FreeButtonBee · 26/12/2018 07:46

YANBU. I asked for some leopard print socks. Would have been happy with one nice pair. Instead got cheapo amazon polyester six pack in horrible pattern Straight to the charity shop for those. I’m not risking the athlete’s foot.

anniehm · 26/12/2018 08:05

Know what you mean. We've trained mum not to do this, got no random stuff this year thank goodness. However dh, he needs to learn (grotty clothes and a computer game he wanted!)

2018Already · 26/12/2018 08:29

I’ve just said exactly the same thing. I also got three pairs of supermarket pyjamas, but at a total cost of around fifty quid. I wouldn’t mind, but I have nowhere to store that many bulky pairs. One pair would have been plenty! Food bank / charity is a good idea, but I hate feeling so ungrateful and giving away gifts.

Cookit · 26/12/2018 08:31

I get it, but actually seems to have happened to me over the years. Yesterday I got 4 presents total, each nice and more high value. I will have a few more coming from relatives after Christmas.
I’ve had no bath stuff and no confectionary this year,

MintyT · 26/12/2018 08:41

YANBU. My daughter asked me what I wanted, I said one expensive thing !please rather than lots of stuff to upward that cost the same. This year she got me some beautiful wine glasses which I really love. But I love them more because she told on board what I said x

pictish · 26/12/2018 08:50

Nah whether it’s ungracious or not, I’m with you. Quality over quantity every time.

LunaTheCat · 26/12/2018 08:52

thigh the Jo Malone body lotion should get used -unless you have a cupboard full of Chanel of course - but I would use the JM above all else!

picklemebaubles · 26/12/2018 08:56

Definitely! This year has been better- we did a one present rule, so each gift was better.

I might extend that to wider family next year, if they agree.

I think people take a scattershot approach- if they give several small presents one of them will be appreciated. If they give one more expensive gift and it isn't suitable, that's a real shame.

Calvinsmam · 26/12/2018 08:58

I’m with you.

My mother is terrible for this, she will buy you tat just do you have something to open. (One year she gave me a jar of half used spice mix).

My mil is amazing at present buying.
She understands that what I want is better quality of the stuff I normally use but wouldn’t buy myself.

Strangely Jo Malone body lotion is an example of this, I love it but would never buy it myself,
I also use loads and loads of body lotion so if anyone has some send it my way Grin

ToffeePennie · 26/12/2018 09:00

I’ve had a single pair of pjs, a pair of slippers, a LOT of sweets and bath bombs. The majority of my gifts are consumable and therefore won’t be hanging around forever, and they are definitely going to be used. The slippers won’t be - they are too bulky for me and I prefer little slip ons so I’m taking them back to swap them. The pjs are perfect and I can replace my old holey ones. Win - win.
To me it’s only tat if it has no purpose. I have been moaning about my pjs for ages, I needed new slippers etc.

PurpleWithRed · 26/12/2018 09:01

Yup, I love my MIL but she gets me a ‘stocking’ each year to match the stocking she does for DH. DH gets little things he likes, 90% of what I get will go straight to charity/the bin: not only is it stuff I don’t use but it’s cheap and nasty stuff I don’t use. She also gives me a voucher for something I love, and I would SO happily swop the ‘stocking’ for a bigger voucher.

But I love her and I know how lucky I am so I will just keep smiling and being grateful. Sigh.