To wish I had fewer but nicer christmas gifts?

[qauren]

My family are very generous, therefore I’m very lucky, and appreciative.

The issue is, they buy lots and lots and lots of “smaller” things. Whilst lovely, clutter up my limited space and must cost a lot of money. They refuse to buy “big” items.

Personally I’d rather have fewer gifts in number, but have nicer ones per se? Rather than three pairs of tesco pyjamas, i’d rather one really nice laura ashley pair etc. Or perhaps rather than small bits and bobs that in total cost a heck of a lot, I’d rather a silver bracelet.

AIBU?

Luna bubble bath, soap, hand wash, candle, diffuser yes awesome - i just don't like being sticky with the body lotion. My sister always picks stuff that smells like food it used to be Laura Mercier and i walked around smelling like cake. Shame cos i know she tries and it's so expensive.

Totally with you op. We have started specifying no tat gifts. DH and I buy one present each then one each from out DS. Something we wouldn’t have bought for ourselves. We have got national trust family membership from PIL. Money from my parents That way you get something nice rather than more stuff to clutter the house.

This year my dh got me a babylis big hair, some specifically asked for make up and a gift voucher.

I was over the moon but he was fretting I hadn’t got enough ‘stuff’.
I’m way past the age of needing a load of random stuff though.

My kids (now adults) are well trained. As they are boys I gave them a specific formula years ago and they don't deviate. One bubble bath, one box chocolates and one sentimental gift that specifically says i am an awesome mum. I don't care if i have to ask for the sentiments!

love the "I'm not risking athlete's foot so am giving them to a charity shop" .

YANBU at all, I hate tat!

Could you try to ask for vouchers from a specific shop, saying that they have your dream (not to expensive) handbag, jumper or whatever and a contribution voucher would be ideal?

I would sell everything I don't like and use that money to buy something I like

I got a small box of chocolates from the kids and nothing else. Amazed at how ungrateful people are. I’m ok with what I got but always makes me sad my oh doesn’t bother.

YANBU. My DMs Friends (known them years & years so more like family) used to do this. I like makeup and cosmetics but they’d always get me like a pallet of 40 eyeshadows that cost about a tenner and had zero staying power or were weird colours, then 10 cheap lipglosses etc. I know I sound massively ungrateful but there were 4 couples that used to buy for me and I’d much rather them have got me one Urban Decay pallet or even a voucher for a tenner from them all, as they probably spent more than that on tat I was never going to use.

No YANBU. It just ends up with too much stuff and nowhere to put it. People think they're being generous and they often mean well but it's no good in the long run. Especially not for the environment. But have you broached the subject with anyone?

Also, who are these people who don't use their body lotion stashes? I am always running out!

Ah I’m obviously in the minority but I think YABU and sound ungrateful. I like getting little bits, as long as thought has gone into them.

What about asking for an experience or event. My parents have bought family passes in the past which is great.

DP and I have both done that this year too. Theatre tickets that we know the other person would enjoy (plus the other person benefits)

I had a sum total of 3 presents this year. It was bloody miserable. Can I have some of yours? Having said that, I understand your point.

My dad does this and I hate it, I don’t even want/need presents but he insists on buying endless tat that I’ll never use, he’s into cheap quantity over quality and never asks what you might want. I hate that he’s wasting his money

The year we decided no presents for adults was a massive relief. I love it, it really works for our family.

If you think we are missing out, we are not. We all have that money still in our pockets and we can buy ourselves the perfume/body lotion/chocolates that we really like. Yes it’s not magical but it’s no worse than writing down what you want for someone else to buy it. And it’s so much better than receiving a load of things you really don’t need or want.

I'm with @SunshineP on this, it does sound a little ungrateful

I got a bottle of lovely Lancôme perfume from my builder but that's it. He knows I'm not a big drinker

Nothing from family and i haven't caught up with friends yet (but don't expect anything)

A bit divided here. A few years ago I put my foot down and banned lots of tat bought in the name of “it’s thought thatcounts” . Now I get what I want ( think nice bar soap) and doesn’t break the bank, MIL gets the hamper that she loves

For a number of people, I wonder if the only way ahead is to negotiate a policy of no gift-giving? There are so many wins associated with this - for individuals and more widely and it has lots of financial and environmental upside.

I said I only wanted things
I could drink, eat, read or soak in and this went down well. I hate clutter

I’m with you. My Mum and Dad understood the quantity message this year but not entirely quality. They also gave me cash to ‘make up the difference’ so it’s not a finance thing. MIL has found a winning formula so she’ll stick with that.

There will be far fewer things in the charity bag/food bank this year. I massively disagree with quantity over quality with smellies and chocolate.

Totally agree with you. Not unreasonable at all.

I only got one present to me personally (a purse that I had chosen). DH’s parents gave us a bag of clutter to share (weather vein, dish, picture frame, diaries - not to our taste or things we use). What feels most crap here, though, is that DH got lots of other presents - his family give, he got a gift from his manager, and I bought him something from the children. It all looked a bit unbalanced. And now DS1 is nearly six he is aware. It didn’t hurt me so much, but it upset me that he expressed sadness for me.

This year my mother bought me a kimono tie broach shaped like a rat to go on my kimono that I must wear in her imagination.

(Don’t own a kimono)

(Would quite like a kimono)

YANBU. I cannot bear the waste and plastic and tat and clutter and consumer madness of it all.

Secret Santa.

BayandBlonde you got perfume from your builder?

YANBU. I hate clutter and it's hard to ban "tat" gifts so I have a no gift policy. Most people are glad to hear it when I tell them.