To feel annoyed and unappreciated

[snowman72]

My 2 step daughters didn't even give me a card or just stick me on their dads card, no present nothing!!! Their dad gave them money to go xmas shopping they did get my 2 dcs a small present but I just feel completely taken for granted, I spent over £100 each on them each, I cooked Xmas dinner, I look after them pick them up from school or the normal things a parent would do but to just get nothing I feel so sad. Maybe I'm expecting too much but I think from now on we should just say their dads presents are from us both !

How old are they?

You spent on them or you and their dad spent in them?

Where is their mum? Perhaps they blame you for the break up of their parents marriage? Mostly though, kids are selfish. Your DH should have got a grip on this, if you are mad at anyone, it should be them.

Him not them!

How old are they? I never bought specifically for my step mum but dad always put his presents (money actually) from both of them. I did a joint present when I was an adult, but nothing for her as a child.
On the other hand, I didn’t know her likeyoir step DDs know you. No school runs etc x

No I spent on them, that's why I'm saying next year the presents should just be from me and him! And don't start the blame me for their mum and dad marriage break up, their mum is with someone else, we've been together for 6 years and married!

I'd of been happy with a mention on a card tbh! But nothing! I think from now on the presents will be joint I'm done!!! I do a lot for them, I didn't even get a thank u for the presents I got them!!!

How old are they OP?

Kids are inherently selfish. It’s their parents’ job to teach them otherwise, so your DH is at least half responsible here. If they are young enough that you are still picking them up from school, it was really up to your DH to encourage them to think of you / facilitate gift buying.

Do they like you? How long have you been in their lives? Do they possibly feel you have “taken” their dad from their family?

What do you mean you didn't get a thank you for the presents you got them? What did they say then when you handed them the presents?

Oh, and how old are they?

Age?

Well they are old enough to walk home from school at 13 and 15 but I pick them up, I got my 2 dads gf a present from my 2 even though she didn't get them anything.

As I said we've been together 6 nearly 7 years, their mum and dad had been split up at least 3 years before we got together. I know it's just kids and I'm probably nothing to them, but I do have feelings and I am upset. Probably unreasonable but I can't help it! Especially as their dad gave them money to go out xmas shopping. Even a card out of the multi pack would of been something!

Depends on the age of the children which I’m guessing is fairly young hence why you refuse to comment. Ds doesn’t go out and buy for me and his dh and he’s 10 nor does his df and Sm the other parents gets a gift on their behalf. You can’t force them to get you a gift op even when they are adults

One thanked me when I handed them and one said nothing

He should of just got a present off you and they sign their name on it, your not obliged to receive a present because you’re married to their df. Leave presents to you’re dh to sort, they got you’re dc that should count.

Did they get their dad a present?

As a PP said, its the parents job to raise polite considerate and well mannered children so i'd be passing this one back to your husband and telling him he must do better in the parenting department to be honest.

How come you don't do joint gifts? Your a well established couple now? What did they actually say to you when you handed them their gifts and they opened them?

I really don’t understand why you would spend £100 on each of them, on top of presumably separate presents that your DH buys them?!

Why aren’t presents just from you and DH?

Do you do this every year?

Yeh jingle that's why I choose not to get them separate presents anymore too. Sorry but I remind mine to do something, but they just do it now at 12 and 15 with my help of course. I still think it's a bit rude I always remembered my step parents in some way! But I guess u have to be careful what I put on here as as step parents we're thought of as evil but I can assure u I am not and do a lot!!!

Yeh it's my own fault, things will definitely change now!

How are they with you the rest of the year? Has this surprised and upset you because you thought you had a good relationship with them?

I don’t think I was always particularly kind, gracious or grateful towards my parents at Christmas when I was in my early teens, and that was without the awkward relationship that often comes with step-parenting. I was selfish fucker, and I think that’s true of a lot of kids their age. I do agree though that they are old enough to make a gesture of their own accord and that your DH ought to have a quiet word woth them about your feelings being hurt because they basically ignored you.

Yeh pretty good, and I just feel unappreciated it's hard being a step mum, yes I know it's harder being the child maybe but I do have feelings. I will get over it again though

I don't think YABU OP. A card and a thank you would have been nice, try not to stress now, enjoy the rest of Christmas if you can.

I have probably put joint names on a card but didn't really ever buy for step parents. They weren't my parent and I had no choice in them.

They were good enough to get your dc even though no relation so they didn't have too. Many just buy for children.

They're quite young really to be responsible for this on their own. You're expecting too much I think and Christmas is for kids IMO and they're still kids.