AIBU to think this is rude?

[CodeGeen]

Hi, we moved into a new area and DH went round with chocolates to the neighbours. Two out of the six refused at the door saying we don't eat chocolates. AIBU to think that's a bit rude? Surely even if you don't eat it, you'd just take it and pass it on to someone else or bin it?

I moved into my house last February. I know my neighbours either side. One of them delivers my milk and offered to replace my outside light bulb when it died. He came out once in the early hours of the morning when I got home late just to check I wasn't being burgled. The other moved in after me and she came round a few days ago to give me a box of chocolates for Christmas.
I work and I'm out a lot but I'm pleased to live in a friendly street.

And I think you sound like a lovely new neighbour!

@LipstickHandbagCoffee have you been on the gin?

Hi, we moved into a new area and DH went round with chocolates to the neighbours. Two out of the six refused at the door saying we don't eat chocolates.

He should have entered through the chimney. Worst Santa ever.

I thinks it’s lovely that you did that. Who knows why the people said no. They are the miserly ones missing out. You were being neighbourly and trying to be kind.

I do agree, Christmas Eve can be chaotic, however, they answered the door and could have easily said, “Merry Christmas, thank you so much, we are crazy busy now! Would love to meet properly another day! “ Leave it at that. Give the chocolates to come one else that night or on Christmas Day as I am sure someone they know eats them!!!

Unfortunately, it could be because you are Muslim. People are ignorant fucks who are biased and racist. I am happy to say not all of us are!

If you lived near me I would have happily accepted what you gave me, awkwardly wished you a Merry Christmas with my son in the background giving me shit saying mom! What if they don’t celebrate christmas😁. I would have offered to meet for coffee or the like another time as I would need to be wrapping g last minute gifts and getting my kids to dinner and bed!

Merry Christmas! I hope it didn’t ruin your holidays.

I'm just impressed you were organised enough to doo this. We moved intil a new area last week and i spent the days between then and Christmas fruitlessly hunting for cutlery. We were very nice to the neighbours who popped out to say hello but didn't go round to them. I'm a little wary with new neighbours and prefer to build relationships slowly because if they go wonky it's so damned uncomfortable living RIGHT THERE with them.

I still wouldn't turn away someone making a lovely gesture though. I just probably wouldn't do it myself.

I feel sorry for @LipstickHandbagCoffee. We live in London and are friendly with most of the street. We take in parcels and they'll take in ours. We have keys for two of them (the teenagers across the road are always locking themselves out).

There's an Indian couple a few doors down. They took us to their favourite Indian restaurant and occaisionally knock on our door at night to say they've been back there and picked us up some of our favourite dishes.
If we had a problem there's at least 5 or 6 doors I could knock on for assistance.
How sad to live so isolated and suspicious of everyone.

Wait - your dh went around alone, and then you and your child went again? (That doesn't sound right!)

Look at it another way: most people thanked you, you got to say hello and meet them, and you had some extra chocolates to enjoy afterwards.

Did he offer a box of chocs to each neighbour or a chocolate from, say, a tin of chocolates?

If a whole box then weird to say no but if a neighbour came with an open tin i think it is okay to say no to taking a chocolate but have friendly conversation as well?

I would have invited you in! It’s a lovely gesture, I don’t engage with the horrible ‘suspicion of strangers’ that seems to be increasingly commonplace. Also...it’s Christmas!!!! I love the way folk go on about the whole peace and goodwill message...but seemingly that only applies to certain people/situations. When we moved into our village, loads of neighbours called in or left cake etc on the doorstep, it was exactly why we moved...for a caring community that looks after its neighbours. OP Don’t let a few rude people change your generous nature.

I would’ve said thanks, but no thanks too.

I don’t want to be on friendly terms with people I have to live in close proximity to, (and I don’t want to take any more of your parcels in either- so stop putting MY fucking door number down as your delivery instruction just because you can’t be bothered to open your own front door you lazy fat cow)

If they’re anything like me- they’ve probably done you a favour by not engaging. We’re not all people people.

"Surely even if you don't eat it, you'd just take it and pass it on to someone else or bin it?"

I wouldn't take them. I don't bin food.

We don't do Adult presents in our Family. So I don't want to feel obliged to neighbours, or work colleagues.

I'd thank your DH, tell him it was a lovely gesture, but refuse them.

I am friendly with neighbours, I take in parcels, put bins in and out, help cut hedges, I've done shopping, gone the chips hop etc. But I don't want to get into card/gift/in each others house.

It isn't rude to refuse an unexpected gift. It's best to refuse than regift or bin. Drop it in your local food bank collection.

Ah that's a shame OP. I would love a new neighbour who brings chocolate! Luckily we live in a friendly little road, so we're all happy to say hello to each other etc. I hope you find some friendly people in your new area.

I think Christmas Eve can be quite a busy time for families & also many families have special traditions etc that they observe etc.

I wonder if people thought, with all 3 of you knocking at the door with a gift, that you possibly were expecting an invite in.

I don't think it's anything other than that tbh. To blankly refuse your kind gift was a little rude but just bad timing that's all.

I don't put neighbours down on parcel instructions but occasionally deliveries end up with them anyway. Thankfully the people opposite weren't hostile when it happened last week.

This is a really horrible thread. I can't believe people are so rude and suspicious of others.

Not everyone tbf Rita

I'm certainly glad I don't live next door to a couple of posters here.

Yes, not everyone. I'm glad too! We live in London and have the loveliest neighbours.

It's extremely rude to refuse the chocolates, whether you eat them or not. I don't celebrate Xmas but would not be offended or refuse a kind thought from my neighbour. For those going on about scams, what exactly do you think would happen in this scenario?

When we moved in earlier this year I knocked on all the doors at the end of our close with a bottle of wine by way of apology that the removal lorry would be blocking the (narrow) road for a while.

We take in parcels for one another, help each other out and they all came round for drinks and nibbles at the weekend.

OP I am so sorry that you encountered such inhospitable and unwelcoming people.

Were you aiming that at me Sooty?

I know she’s put me down to take her parcels in because the delivery drivers have told me.

She also doesn’t even have the manners to answer the door when we take stuff round once we know she’s home.

I’m not the rude here.

We took a bottle of wine round to our neighbours who put our bins out every week. I've never seen anybody look so grateful. He was lovely

More at Lipstick actually Saucy though I didn't think you sounded too neighbourly. However given your update I can see your point and I think your neighbour sounds incredibly rude.

My ndn and I share the bin putting out and returning - whoever is in does it. I quite often work on a late night rota on bin day so I always feel grateful when I get home and the bin is back!

That was so rude of them. Even if I didn't eat them I'd say thank you so much and merry Christmas.