...to ask for your Christmas Day horror stories to cheer me up?

[homeishere]

So...currently in bed with explosive diarrhoea after my DH had the same (and sickness) yesterday. He’s looking after the 1 and 3 yr old.

We were hosting Christmas, so have to put off both set of parents and my dsis.

AIBU to ask for you to regale me with your Christmas horror stories to cheer me up?

Oh Derek. You have just made me teary. Take care 💐. My mum died a few years ago and recall very clearly how I felt physically and emotionally the next day.

The Christmas where we all had flu and I served beans on toast for Christmas dinner was monumentally shite.

However DH has just rang me in a flap. Apparently one of the kids has just fallen off their bike whilst riding it on the field behind our house. Apparently dc has a great big cut on their knee.

Dh hates blood, guts and gore so he is probably being a bit keen with the description. Dc is one for going all out when they're injured anyway. Please god don't let me end up in A&E this afternoon. I had plans for this afternoon and the local hellhole hospital doesn't need to feature.

One year a drunk relative:

Spilled a drink over me
Knocked the Christmas tree down on me
Vomited over me

I no longer see the relative.

Thrown out by OH at noon on Christmas Day two weeks after I’d miscarried his child.
A lucky escape if ever there was one.

One year, DC2 went down with nasty virus on Christmas Day and by Boxing Day I too was in bed with raging fever, limb pain, hacking cough etc (I have asthma so tend to be quite poorly with such things.) DH contacted his DM in the New Year and told her that DC and I had all been ill over Christmas. His DM lives overseas, is not Christian, and does not celebrate Christmas in any way - DH had of course been in touch with family who had kindly sent presents for the DC. (MIL does not do presents, in accordance with her religious beliefs.)

MIL's response was to send an email to DH questioning my mental health on the grounds that she'd noticed that I was 'often ill' at times of celebration and had he ever considered I did it to get attention?

Her other evidence for this accusation was that I'd missed a family anniversary to stay home with a toddler with chickenpox - and that was three years before!

Oh how I laughed.

This one I heard from the horse's mouth someone who is an ambulance dispatcher:

Christmas day - elderly father dies at the lunch table of a hearto or whatever. Ambulance crew come and take him away. As they pull out of the drive they run over the family cat.

Sorry Derek

The only year we hosted the in laws the oven broke on Christmas morning.

Can't think of anything off hand but feel very sorry for you. Hope you soon recover. Don't worry about parents and in laws, they'll be fine, these things happen.

No for you but are fitting in the circumstances.

Happy Christmas, if not today, tomorrow or the next.

Christmas 09, during dinner my mum started having stroke like symptoms. Turned out to be un treatable brain cancer, she died 8 weeks after diagnosis, and we haven't done Christmas since as it was her "thing".
Used to be my favourite time of year, relaxing on the sofa at night with just the tree lights on, now it just makes me sad.

So sorry Derek sending unmumsnetty hugs

Sorry for those that are poorly.

I've just par boiled to shit, roast potatoes and parsnips for 7.

Unorganised DSD and BF rang at 11.55. Could they come for dinner after all?

DC have presented DH and I with holiday booking for March but I've used up all my annual leave entitlement.

DSIL just turned up early....with her 2 massive dogs.

Brother arrived empty handed.

I have to work a night shift tonight.

Oh fucking hell.

Merry Christmas!

My granny died last week, Christmas was her thing. I’m distraught.

onbail sorry for your pooch. Neighbours lovely dog pts yesterday and they are distraught.

derek so sorry for your loss.

So sorry to hear of your loss, Derek.

A few years ago, my mother's oven conked out while she was cooking Christmas lunch and it was a case of hastily tidying up and let's put the show on right here. Minor stuff compared to what others have gone through.

Derek I’m so sorry. My mum died suddenly last month and I’ve cancelled Xmas at our house. It’s hard to see everyone having fun and being happy when you are struggling. Thoughts are with you

Have had to gaffer tape my oven door shut. And had no gaffer tape so drove to 24 hour petrol station and begged the lady at till ti sell me hers. She said she couldn't because it wasn't for sale but lent it to me and said bring it back after lunch. Life saver.

Derek and Onbail, I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news.

My worst Christmas was the year my DSis and DH had a massive row just as I was serving up lunch. It caused so much trouble between DH and myself. So for the last 4 years I can't have my whole family together at Xmas and every year I travel 4 hours on the 27th to spend a couple of days with her and her family. Makes me so sad as my mum is now in her late 70's and will probably never have a Xmas with us all together again.

Having said all that I'm having a lovely day so far with DH and DS and have been spoilt rotten, just feel there is something missing 😢

Derek I am so sorry for your loss may you and your family feel the love and well wishes from all of us here on MN

I'm 30 years old and wearing a diaper at Christmas. It's humiliating, but nobody else really knows apart from my mum.

I was diagnosed with gastroparesis this year, so I basically can't eat anything, and I'll be vomiting all day anyway  I need the pad for the more embarrassing side of things.

Still, chin up! I can still watch everyone else enjoy their food, so it could be worse. It's not really a Christmas horror story, it's more a situation I never expected to find myself in.

Two years ago a Housing Executive error left me and my son homeless at Christmas, so thank god for family!

Couple of years ago now:

DBro , DSil, DMum, DDad all came to mine for Christmas , arriving Christmas Eve .
On Christmas Night after dinner , DBro elderly cat goes out for a pootle , we were trying to coax her back indoors . DMum fell on the patio (I did not know she'd had a fall less than 24 hours before !)

Call to 101 , they send an ambulance .
I drive to local hospital, SIL goes in Ambulance with DMum. (What I didn't know was if the ECG was poor they'd have taken her to the Royal London - I have no jeffing clue where that even is , I think its Whitechapel area)

Anyway - it was local A&E , she had tests done , cracked ribs and very HBP.
They didn't give any medication even though she lives 600 miles from me
"Your GP will be open Boxing Day" they said (They aren't)

Couldn't park near the doors because of all the cars on the double yellows . Only wheelchair was broken ( "that's all we have" )

Got home 2am . Had to move beds so DParents had DS room (downstairs and we have a downstairs loo as well so no stairs to worry about)
Went to Pharmacy at 9am with DDad (who had waited up, so he got very little sleep too) .
Gave the Hospital Discharge letter to Pharmacist with a Help me I've been awake all night look . Got an Emergency 5 Day course of tablets. And I was right , my GP wasn't open.

They left Boxing Day and after that , we decided they weren't to travel the distance so we visit Christmas/New Year or early in the year .

I was staying with my mum. She rented spare rooms to lodgers who were there over Christmas.

The toilet got blocked up in the early hours of Christmas morning. She only had one toilet. We called some emergency plumbers who were very expensive.

We drove to the nearest petrol station who agreed to lend us their plunger. That sorted the problem!

Also, much love to anyone missing someone this Christmas. My granny passed away last Christmas Eve, and nothing is the same without her.

A few Christmass's ago now...out of 13 of us, inside 24 hours, 11 were vomiting as the norovitus spread like a wildfire. I've never experienced anything like it. Luckily (or unluckily) I didn't succumb so was on full cleaning up and nursing duties. It was smelly, vile and horrible.

We then, the next day, ended up at hospital with our youngest who had an ear infection, croup and needed fluids after the bug- queue a 2 day stay in a different city from home...

The dog needed urgent surgery that cost £1k on the 27th (dealt with by dog sitter so couldn't actually see him for ourselves and it really was a life/death op- he got a stick dangerously speared through his windpipe) and to top it all off, the car tyre blew when we eventually tried to head home. £200+ later. It's known as the Christmas We Shall Not Name.

Can just about smile about it now...we all got out alive..!

Worst one was when I was 18. Dad was coming home from work 12 days before Christmas when a lorry driver hit ice on a corner, hadn't put the safety bar on properly, jacknifed and crushed Dad's car between the cab and the trailer. He did survive the accident (albeit with a lot of broken bones) and it looked like he would recover, but died in the first week of the new year after a blood clot in his leg broke free and blocked his heart. That's 25 years ago and I've never managed to get into the spirit again since.

I have put my back out and cant barely walk or stand (sitting just about OK). DP has a chest infection and is bed ridden at his house. He also had the stocking fillers. Luckily my kids are both a bit meh about stockings now so found it funny when I told them that if Santa didnt come it didnt mean they had been naughty (DD is 18, DS is 12)

DD had her presents before Christmas and DP and I got my son's present between us. There was just the one present under the tree. I tried to get an XBox voucher too, but mistakenly bought it through xbox.com so its on his account now - no envelope to open. He got a Occulus Go. Only problem is that it needs a phone and his phone has been lost for the last 2 weeks. Google says its in the house but we've turned it upside down looking, including me looking under his built in bed and then getting stuck on the floor for 20 mins.

Dinner is much reduced. I cant pull the big table out for us to eat on so its small tables in front of us. Luckily beef so much easier to deal with than a turkey. Ive found some frozen yorkshitres which may just save the day.

Im on my 2nd lot of codeine. Had the last anti inflammatory in the house at 9 am. supposed to be going to DPs parents later, am yet to decide if I can make it.