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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to spill my guts out

41 replies

Punto1 · 25/12/2018 10:38

It's Christmas, and I'm alone. Obviously a lot of choices and decisions by powers higher than me have lead to this. But am I ok to cry?

I'll be fine tomorrow.
Not sure whether to try to sleep through today or just live vicariously.

OP posts:
Tryingbutfailingmiserably · 25/12/2018 10:40

Do a bit of both. I know how hard it is to be alone on Xmas day. Just remember.....it's one day. Be kind to yourself.

JoyceDivision · 25/12/2018 10:42

It's a very over hyped day, have a cry, then go and have fun,indulge yourself.

Flowers Wine

FloweringOrchid · 25/12/2018 10:43

Also alone here. Have no money so cant even binge on yummy food. Im going to sleep through it. Hope the day is gentle to you.

kaldefotter · 25/12/2018 10:46

Have a cry, get yourself a drink, then log in or create a Twitter account and see the Twitter posts with the hashtag #joinin. It’s a thing Sarah Millican does every Christmas Day, for people who feel lonely.

mobile.twitter.com/hashtag/joinin?src=hashtag_click

raeray · 25/12/2018 10:47

Hello everyone, and merry Christmas to you all. Christmas can be a bit miserable when it seems every bugger apart from you is surrounded by loved ones and having fun.
It was just going to be me and my Nan for Xmas and now she's admitted to hospital very unwell. So admittedly I'm not alone but still feels a bit lonely and rubbish.
But I'm grateful I can spend it with her even if not what I planned .

Sallygoroundthemoon · 25/12/2018 10:49

I'm alone too so it's not just you. Big hug.

Auntiepatricia · 25/12/2018 10:57

Sending you some hugs, cosy blankets, virtual choccies, a marathon of great movies and a roaring fire. Oh, here’s a cup of online coffee too and I whacked a load of imaginary baileys in it for you.

Batton down the hatches. You have the most important person with you, yourself. You can make a good day of it.

Ollivander84 · 25/12/2018 11:10

Alone here too. Well apart from the cat who is mithering me. Going to eat something in a bit and then head out to work at 4

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:20

Well sobbing uncontrollably so that should sort me out.

OP posts:
sunshineNdaisies · 25/12/2018 11:22

could you go to a local church or community group who are offering free xmas lunches and company?

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:22

Can we put on a playlist that is going to keep me alive rather than my playlist? No point ringing the crisis team - if toast was burning they'd hang up because you said Fuck, the toast is burning.

OP posts:
katseyes7 · 25/12/2018 11:23

On my own here too. l've already had a couple of cries this morning. Do whatever you need to do to get through the day, but it is just one day. Love and hugs xxx

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/12/2018 11:23

If crying is what you want to do, have a cry. Hope next year is better.

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:23

I haven't left the flat in six weeks.

OP posts:
Bumbledop · 25/12/2018 11:26

Im not alone, but just wanted to let you know I’ve already had my cry. Now I will put my smile back on so everybody else thinks it’s all ok.

Just thought it might help to know sometimes it’s not what it seems if thT makes sense Flowers

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:27

My playlist is a load of songs that remind me of every bloody month in this year, mostly getting dumped.

I lay down and cried. I know I need to try not to go down my usual path.

OP posts:
Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:28

I thought I was prepared for this. It's just Tuesday. Fuck no. It hits you sideways.

OP posts:
Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:37

Apparently I'm a goodlooking girl. I look in the mirror and see an ogre. I get a knot in my stomach when guys online say 'you're so goodlooking' because I think, when you see me, you'll run as fast as you can.
I had a very abusive childhood where I was told several times a day that I was ugly, so I don't see, how anyone, could ever think that I am goodlooking.
They can tell me ten times over and all I see is me. I don't know what they see. I just can't get it in my head that I might look normal.
My head is so fucked up. I can cope if I'm working. I can cope if I'm thin. There's a thread on here about what people would never guess about you. Nobody would guess that I think I'm ugly as fuck. I have learned how to pretend I'm confident.
Nobody would guess that little miss 'confident' would be alone on Christmas day. Nobody would know anything about me, because nobody knows me.

OP posts:
Pavlova31 · 25/12/2018 11:43

It is a very over hyped and only the one day Punto 1 ☕️💐
Keep talking on here 🙂

madcatladyforever · 25/12/2018 11:45

Bless you Punto, I am alone as well - sort of, I have my cat. i have the plague and I don't want to spread it about.
You must go to counselling, you cannot carry on like this, see your GP too as soon as possible and make 2019 the year that you start the healing process.

Pavlova31 · 25/12/2018 11:47

I had not read your latest post before replying .
So sorry that you are feeling so sad Punto 💐

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:54

I'm listening to Scooter haha. Think THUMP THUMP THUMP

OP posts:
finnmcool · 25/12/2018 11:54

Punto, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.
I'm alone too, but I've got used to it.
Regarding songs, I'm no good at links, but I would suggest...
Kasabian Ill Ray the king.
I find it a two fingers up song.

finnmcool · 25/12/2018 11:55

Regarding how you feel about yourself, are you getting any help with that?

Original poster
Punto1 · 25/12/2018 11:55

I was a 90's chick. Forgive me lol

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