To think they should come earlier?

[BasinHaircut]

The ILs are coming round today and asked the other day what time to come. We said it please not before 12pm and dinner will be at 3.

They live an hour away but every single time they come they say ‘oh it was terrible traffic’ and they always arrive at least 90 mins after they say they were leaving. I think they just always leave late.

Apparently they are leaving at 1pm so won’t arrive before 2pm earliest, more likely 2:30.

AIBU to think this is a little late? We have a 5yo who they will want to do presents with when they arrive before dinner so they will literally arrive, presents, dinner. This will almost certainly them make dinner late by the time they come in, faff about and have a drink, do gifts.

They aren’t staying over and are unlikely to stay later than 9.

You should have said a time-
Arrive at 1 please.
Bit late now though

Yeah I should have I suppose. But they still would have been bloody late and cited traffic.

Just feels a bit like wanting to spend the least amount of time possible here. I’ve a growing feeling that FIL (well MIL’s partner, not DH’s dad) avoids us as much as possible and it’s starting to piss me off.

My in laws are like this, if we tell them a time they come 40 minutes later. They must leave at the time I asked them to arrive.

Next year give them a time you want them to arrive (that’s an hour or so before when you actually want them but not so early that you couldn’t cope if they actually arrived on time.

Next time Give them a time, but make it an hour earlier that you actually want them there.

Obviously you have to be prepared for the fact that they actually may arrive at the earlier time :)

What a non issue!! I think you just want a chance to whinge about them

You’re expecting them to be mind readers.

Dinner will be late anyway. It always is at least an hour late in our house! And let the dc open some of their presents at least!

This wouldn't bother me at all.
Have dinner at 4pm

Dinner is at 3 though you didn't specify I am sure they are not doing it to piss you off just let your son do his presents when they arrve don't let this stress you out not worth it really .

Oh don’t worry next year they’ll be with his family, who actually get invited to thier house.

Yes I probably am just wanting to whinge.

Have dinner later

Yes I did specify dinner at 3. I don’t do late either I’m well known for it.

That’s why I think it pisses me off when others are blasé about arrival timing.

It’s not that they plan to arrive at 2, it’s that I know and they know they will be late!

Anyway I’d better get back downstairs!

Do you feel better for your whinge better out than in then you won't seethe have a nice day

Next time say 1. Then they might turn up at 2?

Or eat all the yummy bits before they come 😅😂

It seems late to you OP (and I'm with you) but all families have different Christmas traditions

It's Christmas. Just relax and let everyone enjoy it.

Yes I did specify dinner at 3. I don’t do late either I’m well known for it.

I didn't too late, until one year where the gas pressure was so low that the turkey wasn't cooked until nearly 6, instead of at 3!

By the sound of them, the less time you have to spend in their company the better, so try and treat it as a good thing.

Next time tell them dinner is at 2 and when they turn up say you're running late and it will be at 3.

My aunt and uncle were like this. We started telling them to arrive an hour before we wanted them there, so that they arrived at the right time.

Well you said after 12 and dinners at 3 so I would take that as arrive anytime between 12 & just before 3. Technically there not late.

Can you not tell them that present opening will be after dinner? If you do it nicely, all smiles and sweetness, and say you want to be there for it too and if it's before dinner you'll be in the kitchen - would they go for that?

Push lunch back a bit