To claim I've got the crappest Xmas delivery substitutes

[ImAChaiseLongueGetMeOutOfHere]

Morrisons excelled themselves in shitness.

Normal mince pies for gluten free.

Polar bear iced cake instead of Christmas pud.

A fucking chocolate yule log instead of a HAM fgs.

Anyone top that?

I had 12 substitutes and 3 missing items from Asda yesterday. Luckily had today off work so could go to Sainsbury’s. My sprouts, gammon and cheeseboard were missing plus the delivery driver dropped a huge tub of my cream and left the tub and their messy crate outside on the street. Not pleased!

Yum!

Instead of a salted caramel sponge pudding I got 2 packets of rice cakes. Straight back. And they forgot my Black Forest roulade. Bloody Tesco.

Carrots instead of clementines definitely wins!

I am making a meringue wreath as well as Christmas pudding tomorrow and Ocado had totally run out of the 4 punnets of Waitrose berries I'd ordered.

Fortunately I'm pedantic enough to have back up strawberries in case they weren't very good so I can make it work. No raspberries though! Wont anyone think of the children!

I did Tesco click and collect fully expected it to be full of substitutions but I only had one! Then they didn’t have any cheese boards left so they didn’t substitute anything and just refunded me.

The Yule log will be fine. Put it into the slow cooker with a tin of coke for 12 hours. Perfect!

You have to wonder if the store pickers are having a laugh......

OP you could make this with the carrots instead of a trifle.

This is why I got my delivery on Saturday, and requested no substitutions! In fairness the poor feckers must be seeing double doing all that packing!

My cousin once ordered fresh lemons for a new years eve party drinks. They sent lemon toilet cleaner.

I think the pickers have a pick rate too, all timed. It must be a really hard job at this time of year.

Asda once gave me a pack of tena lady instead of sprouts.

My dad used to run a newsagents; one Easter he ordered 6 Easter eggs and received packets of Nurofen Extra!!

Asda once gave me a pack of tena lady instead of sprouts

Maybe they thought they'd be useful if you were planning to eat too many sprouts?

There was a thread on here yesterday, where a load of party food from Asda had been substituted for a deluge of cocktail sausages and a massive pizza amongst other things.

I’m pleased to say the Tesco packers gave me appropriate substitutes.

I ordered a cognac-laced pudding to serve 8.

I received 8 Duracell AA batteries.

A Tesco delivery driver once told me that a customer had ordered cigarettes, and was substituted a loaf of bread instead. I'm not convinced that you can order cigarettes with your grocery shopping, but I haven't checked as it's a funny story that I kinda want to believe!

chocolate
You absolutely can order cigarettes for delivery. Dh added some to my order once.

plus the delivery driver dropped a huge tub of my cream and left the tub and their messy crate outside on the street.

Those crates are great for storing all manner of things in We have about 1/2 Doz of them.

This year I ordered from Ocado for the first time and had nothing missing and no substitutions. Last year, Asda sent me no potatoes, no veg, no cheese or crackers (although I did get a multipack of mini cheddars instead of these!) and meant I had to go out shopping on Christmas Eve which was precisely what I was trying to avoid.

AA batteries instead of AAA batteries. Not always a bad thing but when dd Christmas gift requires AAA there’s a slight problem!

I think some of these are made up

Condoms instead of nappies

A magazine instead of paracetamol