To think my brother is being unreasonable and silly? Christmas dinner debacle

[CobaltRose96]

Hi all.

Me, my partner, and my brother and his partner are visiting my parents for Christmas dinner tomorrow. We all agreed last week that we would all bring something to the dinner: my mum is cooking the meat, my brother and his partner are bringing the veg, and I'm bringing desert.

Now, at 6pm on Christmas Eve, my brother is complaining that he will now have to stay up and cook the veg tonight as he has work at 6am tomorrow (finishes at 10am and we're going to my parents at 1pm) so won't have time tomorrow. Oh, and apparently he doesn't have enough Tupperware/tubs to bring it all. I'm baffled by this as it was actually his partner who agreed to cook the veg, not him. His partner doesn't have work tomorrow. Surely his partner could cook it tomorrow morning, and if he didn't have enough Tupperware he could've bought some last week when we agreed on the arrangement? Plus surely he could just bring the veg in their baking trays/pots?

He is also complaining that the veg will have to be cooked at his house and brought to my parents instead of bringing the raw veg to my parents house and cooking it there. He is worried the veg will be soggy once he gets to my parents. He lives literally five minutes away from my parents and is getting a lift there, so surely if his partner plans it properly and cooks it at the right time, this won't be an issue? He simply assumed he'd be able to cook it at my parents without actually asking, and my mum's oven and hob is quite small and wouldn't fit the meat and trays/pots of veg all at once.

AIBU for thinking my brother is being ridiculous and kicking up a fuss where none is needed? He just called me up to rant and complain about how 'unfair' it was and I told him he was being silly and should've been more organised. I fear this will ruin our Christmas as my brother is a notorious sulker and really quite difficult personality wise. I love him and we usually get along well, but I find him quite exhausting at times. It's quite pathetic really since it's just bloody veg!

Then again, I'm almost 30 weeks pregnant and perhaps slightly hormonal and unreasonable myself?

Desserts are surely the easy bit. We buy frozen Pavlova, Frozen choc gateau, cheesecake from supermarket and Vienetta ice cream. Tell him to drop veg off to you to do and make him sort out or pay you for the frozen desserts. Failing that cheese board. prepping veg and potatoes takes a lot of time if you do cauliflower cheese, carrots, swede, parsnips, yucky sprouts and frozen peas.

Stuff that can be peeled, chopped and diced tonight - do it. Wrap it in clingfilm if he doesn't have enough tupperware.

Parboil the spuds before leaving for your Mum's tomorrow; everything else (carrots, peas, sprouts etc.) can be done there as it won't reheat well.

Surely you prep the potatoes and roast when the meat is resting. Brussel sprouts just need one little bit of the hob. Stuff like red cabbage can easily be reheated.

Sounds a lot like my DB used to be like, and then became a chef and that thing changed. Weird if he or his DP can't get it together between them.

Help him out and cook the veg at the house you're going to eat it. He's working on Xmas day fgs.

Anyhow it sounds unpleasant to cook veg at another house and bring it to the place you're eating regardless of this situation.

There’s quite an easy solution to this: ‘I am sure you can find a way between you. See you tomorrow!’ And end.

He has bought the veg, hasn’t he?

It's not nice that you're making him cook xmas dinner on a day he's working. Also, you gave yourself and your mum the easy jobs - or she did, which is worse. The veg is the most involved part of the meal preparation wise, although it does tend to be the cheapest too, but considering time is the thing he's lacking on the day it's unfair.

You sound genuinely difficult in this post, I hope it is just temporary and not how you normally are. Reread it and the language and tone you've used, it's utterly bizarre that to describe your brother whinging about vegetables the way you have done, it's not nearly important enough to sound so much like you're fuming under the surface like this

Do the roasts at his then cover with tin foil on the baking tray and quickly whist to location, I would honestly make the room to cook the veg at parents house.

What are you doing for dessert? Could you not help him

Erm, if my job was veg, I'd expect to buy it, prep it the night before/morning and then take it uncooked to the host house, where I would then use the hosts pans and hob/steamer.
No bloody way would I cook it at home and take it to reheat. Minging soggy veg with my roast?
No thanks!

^agree with this. If I had offered to do veg then I would have meant the above. No way would I cook once then re heat. Maybe he is upset that his offering is going to turn out less than perfect and everyone will blame him.

Don’t know what happened. Will try again.

Am I right in thinking he’s only working 4 hours and people

I give up my phone keeps posting mid sentence. Anyway, he’s only working 4 hours I don’t understand what the problem is. I used to work 12 hour nights at Christmas, bung the turkey in the oven before 4 hours sleep and then get up and sort the rest of the food out. What a softy.

Why would anyone want reheated veg??? Ick

Also isnt doing all the veg a lot more work than doing a dessert??

Yes why reheated?

Not sure that brining some veg is an equally contribution compared to cooking the meat and/or bring pudding.

Yes. bringing pudding is a doddle- veggies quite time consuming

If I were responsible for veg, I would prep them beforehand and take them to the host family to cook. Otherwise, I don't think they would taste their best if transported and reheated.
I would've thought the veg could be cooked on the hob, or in the microwave. There would probably be room in the oven once the meat is resting.
I would also expect the partner to do her bit in the morning. It won't take that long!

Not seeing why he can't cook it at your parents. Whats going to be on the hob that means no room for veg?

I can see his point about not being able to cook it there. If he could cook it there it could be cooking while he is hanging out with everyone, but to have to cook it and then bring it over after having already had to have gone to work would be a massive pain! Although if the partner has agreed to do it what is the problem? Hope it all works out and you have a nice Christmas :)

Reheated veg is rank. If I was asked to provide veg I’d expect that to mean I’d buy and prep it, then cook at the hosts house just before serving.

He hasn't bought any veg....

it was actually his partner who agreed to cook the veg, not him

Partner should be doing it then. I'd be cross if my DH agreed to do the veg for lunch at my parents and then expected me to do it.

Sounds like they've agreed to do it without actually thinking about the logistics until 6pm on Christmas eve.

I wouldn't engage. He is an adult, has a partner who can do the prep as he is working.

Leave it and let them deal with it, it is not your problem is it?

He should have bought pre prepped veg a day or two ago anyway. Idiot. Do not be guilt tripped. Have a nice Christmas.

I can't imagine cooking veg and then transporting it somewhere else.