To Absolutely Loathe Christmas

[Fortyfatandfedup]

I feel a real grump today, but my family put such intense pressure on having a perfect Christmas that I just want to curl up under the duvet and not come out!

For example, my parents are massively materialistic, and I don't want my daughter brought up that way, so we've not bought her masses of stuff. However I know there will be a mountain of presents when we visit them tomorrow. It sounds really ungrateful, but for them it's quantity over quality - there will be so much absolute rubbish in there that we will end up giving most of it away (DD is only 2, so won't notice). There are so many examples where they force certain things on us to ensure they have the perfect Christmas.

It doesn't help that me and DH are sooo tired. We've both been ill with a sickness bug, and our daughter hasn't been that well either. I just want to sleep tbh.

I know it does sound unreasonable (and horribly ungrateful) but each year it seems to get worse and worse and I wish these few days to be over as quickly as possible.

Can you say you still have D&V SVD won't be able to go? Stay home relax and enjoy your Christmas

*And not SVD, not sure where that came from 🤷

Yes, could claim we are still ill (which we are), but I think we'll have to face it this year. I need to review it for next year though. It sounds dramatic, but I'm not sure I can go through this again. I am just so miserable.

I don't blame you.

I realised today while deep cleaning the kitchen after the millionth shopping trip, that there are two types of people in the world:

Those who make Christmas 'happen' and those who Christmas 'happens for'.

People who love Christmas are usually those who do little of the work required to make it happen.

I have been known to call Christmas forced fun day......

We are spending it just the two of us this year the first time in 8 years as 34 weeks pregnant.
Yet still I've spent most of the day today cleaning as we have friends coming over on boxing day

Your not unreasonable, the amount of stress on having the perfect day...... I don't know anyone who has the perfect day!

AfterSchoolWorry - whilst that can be true I think a lot of the people who are having Christmas "happen" for them also hate it.

They hate the sense of obligation, being forced to eat, ("because I cooked it for you"), travel, ("because we want to make it special for you"), smile and be grateful and "appreciate" all the stuff that is done for you or bought for you when all you'd rather have is a quiet day spent the way you want to.

I never want anyone to be deep-cleaning their kitchen one million times for me - and resenting it. I'd much rather I didn't have to visit at all in mid-winter.

Each to their own -so OP - make the visit as brief as you can. Regift the persents that you don't want and make it clear for next year that you are not doing the whole Christmas palaver again.

YANBU I have come to the realisation that I also hate Christmas! My parents drive me insane and always always ALWAYS drink too much and become very unpleasant and hurtful. I’ve made a 7 hour round trip to be insulted

Next year i’m Going to lie and say I have to work and order an Indian or Chinese for dinner!

Forced fun day - that's a very accurate description! Yes, there's no way I can go this again. It's got steadily worse over the years, and now I've got DD I don't want her to be spoiled rotten with so much she gets overwhelmed and upset.

Not sure why it seems worse this year...probably because I'm not well

People who love Christmas are usually those who do little of the work required to make it happen.

I have to disagree with this. Christmas maker who looooooooves them. But I organise and take it as it is. Not "perfect"? So what. It's not going to kill us. And that's how they actually become perfect. When you are enjoying it, not running around and breaking down over forgetting to buy parsnips.

OP you need to start saying no to things, do Christmas your way and don't listen to anyone about how it should be.
Take all the pressies your DC won't use and donate them. It will make you feel better. Make the visit there short and then go back to....
Being curled up under the duvet...
... with your DC, hot choc and a Christmas movie.

Make Christmas great again😁

You don't have to do it

Defo going away next xmas, oh no I can't DD just bought a house so wants us all at hers. Ah well xmas 2020 then in the sun!.

I get more ‘bah humbug’ every year. To be honest Christmas actually depresses me these days. I play along and make the effort outwardly but deep down I would rather be somewhere else on a beach where they don’t celebrate Christmas. I cook a mean Christmas dinner so I am happy to hide in the kitchen all day with jimi Hendrix and a bottle of wine.

Can you have a serious talk in the new year about packaging, plastic, excess consumerism etc?

I think this is THE most stressful time of the year. Today, picking up a few last minute food bits, I was struck by how frazzled and worn out people looked. We’ve totally lost the plot People living on the streets, in poverty and loneliness and people are moaning about the queues and the lack of brandy cream.

I also get my more bah humbug every year. I find Christmas a bit meh and when everyone's making a big deal I feel worse and then feel bad for feeling like this. My husband loves it and wants it to be special for the children. Nearly swerved the Christmas dinner shopping yesterday but faced up to it in the end. I can't opt out and have a quiet one due to family

And...being around family, on your best behaviour is EXHAUSTING.

How many Scrooge threads are we going to have today

If you don’t like Xmas fine but don’t ruin it for everyone else

Be grateful you have family some people are spending it alone and would love to be in your position

There comes a time when adult families need to have their own little Christmas at home, however you like to do it and start your own traditions. All my 4 do it and we see each other at various days over the holiday, Boxing day etc. It works to be flexible so each family does it however they like and sees family whenever they like. Suck it up this year and next year have the day on your own

Also as children get older they dont want to be carted off to big gatherings

If you don’t like Xmas fine but don’t ruin it for everyone else

Who said anything about ruining Christmas? For an awful lot of people it is extremely stressful, expensive, exhausting and generally an anticlimax. If you love Christmas then great but there are quite a few people out there who do not want to live in a John Lewis advert.

I'm becoming more bah humbug now, which feels terrible as I have two small children. My son is 3 and has been a nightmare in the run up to it.. not his fault but so many people playing him with every presents and sweets - so many bloody sweets - I just hate seeing him becoming greedy and materialistic. Also can't be fucked having to spend half the day at MILs house.. thought by now I'd be able to be my own boss and have a day at home myself but no.. Sorry for pointless whinge but feels good to get it out!

I honestly cannot wait for it to be over. I'm pretty sure DH is a bloody elf he's so into everything Christmas. I feel like I've had a forced smile on my face for weeks. Will be nice to see the DCs tomorrow, but they are at the age now that's they're too big to be excited but not yet started having families of their own. Really really not feeling it this year.

Hi Selepele, I started this post and I completely agree with you that it's really selfish to complain when others would love to have what I have. That's my point really - I've been really spoilt over the years to the point where I take everything for granted and appreciate nothing. This year it's just tipped over the edge where it all feels so overwhelming to have to behave a certain way. My new year resolution is to lead a much simpler, paired down life - I need to do this for my daughter as I would be mortified if she ended up like me.

I'm sorry if anyone takes offence - it's certainly not intended. Just needed to vent really.

I think your tiredness and poorliness are stopping you from seeing straight.

There’s a good chance that in what you call rubbish will be something that your DD loves and plays with over and over. Don’t assume she thinks it’s tat. DD’s GPs have bought her some right junk over the years that she’s loved and got a lot out of. You can put some of it away and pull it out of the hat another day. Your parents’ materialism won’t affect your DD by and large.

I think Christmas is pretty hard when you’re the parent of a young child. DD is 9 and we’re still there a bit but I can see when Christmas will return to how I used to love it.

I was looking forward to Xmas as I'm 21 week pregnant tomorrow and my sickness has just subsided. Except now I have a bloody awful cold and in bed, nose dripping, feeling like the worse mum in the world (I have a 3.5yr old) I just want a bloody Lemsip!! :(