Is it normal to buy yourself gifts and wrap them and put under tree?

[cabbage78]

Because my narcissist husband does this and it freaks me out.

Print off the divorce forms from the courts website and wrap them up under the tree for him :grin:

No that's weird. I have bought myself a Christmas present though which I'll open and enjoy later when the amazon man brings it.

This is a really sad situation for you. I hope you manage to get out, when the time is right for you.

I do that. I don't think I am a narcissist but I do have issues with control and disappointment. I don't want presents from my husband (now ex), asked him not to get them etc. They were always shit and it made me sad, so I started getting my own. Ideally he would have actually listened and not bought me anything, but there you go.

I wrap my presents up from the dogs 😂

I'd be so tempted to change the labels on the presents

But I suspect this would send him into a worse rage

Stay safe and make plans to get out is my advice

Err I do it too! But no subliminal message behind me doing it though. I work hard during the year and use Christmas to buy myself treats. My husband is a shite pressie buyer, but I am a grown up and don't give him a hard time about it.

He sounds awful, you must dread what for many is one of the nicest times of the year.

Merry Christmas to you OP, I hope it is peaceful. Take comfort in the fact it is one day closer to the day you leave.

When I was little we (DM, DF and I) would buy a family present to us from us, usually a new board game or similar, and we'd wrap that and put it under the tree to open Christmas morning. Your DH sounds odd though.

I believe the whole presents thing is only connected to the fact that you're unhappy. Please, take the necessary measures and make yourself happy!

Please keep yourself safe op.

Make sure your phone is charged and keep it on you at all times. (I used to keep mine in my bra when I was scared). keep the charger somewhere you know where it is.

Have some essentials, belongings keys etc ready hidden in a bag in case you have to leave quickly.

Have some emergency money.

Friend/dc/emergency contact on speed dial

talk about your worries with police , ask them to put a critical marker on your house.

contact women's aid/similar for advice

You don't have to live like this and you have the right to live without fear. Can you make a long term plan to leave? Can your dc help with this?

I have read threads where women buy their own presents, wrap them and put them under the tree so they have something to open because they are either single parents, have a dh who can't be arsed to buy for them or just prefer to get something of their own choosing. None of these scenarios point to anything being wrong with the individual whereas in your case it sounds more sinister, like he is making a point of it and using it to make himself feel more important and you less.

Will he get you something nice? How was he with picking out the kids presents?

Please get out as soon as possible.

It's clearly not about the presents - preparing your own presents as an adult is obviously a bit unusual (unless you're a single parent like some PPs) but could be harmless fun if done in a lighthearted humorous way.

The issues in your case run much deeper as you seem to know.

Echoing other advice - keep yourself safe OP. And leave asap.

Ohlemons.thank you..brought a tear to my eye.

Make a promise to yourself that next Christmas you won’t be with him.

Asimplelampoon....thanks for the advice..my DC do help but know I won't leave yet...the three of us are very aware of his problem and they want me to leave..they have very little to do with him. We have lots of family time together with their partners without him knowing..it makes life bearable. My sil just got out of a similar situation..she was married to my husband's brother who is just like him..she and her two kids are finally free.

I could literally write a book on ..I have been suffering for 30 yrs. I met him when I was only 14. That's part of the reason I can't leave...he never wanted me to work..and I have only ever been a housewife.

Audrina.i picked out all the kids presents.got them all exactly what they like..he decided yesterday that my presents were not good enough so spent the day shopping and the night wrapping...the kids know the drill..we all have to be over the top grateful for his presents..orhe will strop and rage how ungrateful we all are. Hedies this sohecan get his narcissist supply from us...

I truely hope that you can bring your leaving day forward, my Christmas’s with xh were bad, but not that bad, merry Christmas OP, i’ll Think of you tomorrow

Please make plans to leave him.
Could you stay with your dc?
Some very good advice on here.

How are you supposed to lavish him with gifts when you're not allowed to earn any money?

it's time to give yourself the best xmas present ever - tell him you are leaving him tomorrow. Call Women's Aid today.

He sounds like a dick, get rid you deserve better

I do this. Not a narcissist (I hope) just a single mum who fancies treating herself to some nice stuff at a special time.

Sounds like you have bigger problems than your husband wrapping presents to himself.

We both separately started doing it a few years ago, kind of a joke/mid life crisis.