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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to have a filthy house?

178 replies

MissElaineNeus · 24/12/2018 07:39

So many threads on here where people's houses, towels, linen are spotless - am I the only one who's the total opposite? My house gets cleaned once a week. We have a large dog who goes on muddy walks and then lies on the furniture. The sofas are old and stained anyway. After a couple of days past the clean, the floors are covered in a light patina of dirt and bundles of fur and dust can be found in most corners. That said, we're never ill and are fighting fit in our fifties. So I know I'm not BU but just hoping there are other like-minded slatterns!

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 24/12/2018 10:07

My house got immeasurably cleaner and tidier the minute my husband left....

dolliebauble · 24/12/2018 10:09

If you were to walk past my house there is a high chance you'll hear me shouting "It's never fucking ending..!"
Me, 3 kids, a dog and a very hairy man, it really never ends. In fact, this morning I hoovered and you'd never know- DD spilt cheerios and milk over her head and the floor as she ducked under the table (don't ask me why) and the dog has come in from outside and done her usual putting muddy paw prints everywhere. This is why I'm tired before 10am.

LoniceraJaponica · 24/12/2018 10:10

Unfortunately no Wonkysack. DD is allergic to cats and dogs. OH and I used to have 2 cats, but we didn't replace them after they died when I was expecting DD.

I adore cats and would get another in a heartbeat, but we can't right now.

fleshmarketclose · 24/12/2018 10:15

It wouldn't work for me but so long as you are happy with it I don't see it as anyone else's business.

Danglyspider · 24/12/2018 10:18

Yep I am physically challenged, as it happens, which I did post. Good for you if you can look after DCs with SEND, work FT and keep an immaculate home. I get up somewhere between 5-7am, have a bath (cleaning the loo and bathroom, picking up towels), wash up and put a wash on while getting the DCs ready for school. Once they're off, I tidy before sitting down to get some work done. Lunchtime I rotate washing, fold a load, and/or put one away. Afternoon, more work. When they get back, sort out bags, school paperwork, lunch bags, and sort uniform for morning. Before dinner, more washing and washing up. DH cooks, we eat. He puts one to bed, I settle the other for the several hours it takes, by which point I either pass out myself or get some more work done. If I had a normal level of energy, I'd probably wash up, get more housework done, but I don't, so I work with what I have. Cheers for making me feel like an even shitter parent. Merry Christmas.

madcatladyforever · 24/12/2018 10:20

i have pets but I can't rest if my home is not clean and tidy. I don't care what other peoples homes are like though. Sometimes messy homes are the most chilled and comfortable homes.

Mulberry72 · 24/12/2018 10:21

As PP’s have already said, untidy and dirty are subjective and people have different standards.

We have four cats so I sweep and mop 2-3 times a day (I have a spray mop so it’s done in seconds). I’d say we are sometimes untidy, laundry piled up on the dining table, stuff on the stairs waiting to go up etc and that’s ok.

Dirt I can’t cope with and would not allow my home to become dirty.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 24/12/2018 10:22

You are stating all of these things as thought they are things that no other parent has to do.
I haven't made you feel like a shitty parent that's on you.
I do all of the things that you do- I have a condition which means I tire and get quite sore easily, although you wouldn't guess that if you saw me and I wouldn't tell. I get on with it.
I don't sacrifice time with my children to clean, however- they do leave in a clean, tidy environment.

LoniceraJaponica · 24/12/2018 10:22

Reading about your day Dangly makes me wonder why some women want large families. It sounds never ending.

AllYeFaithful · 24/12/2018 10:23

We’re pretty relaxed and our house is no show home - everything a bit worn & shabby, you can tell kids live here etc. I’m not particularly house proud and do the housework I need to do to keep it decent and nothing more.

I work full time, DH runs a business, one child with SEN who is a whirlwind of mess and another who does every extracurricular activity going and doesn’t see mess (working on both of them!). Life is too short.

Having said that (and this is just personal preference) I draw the line at having animals in the house, especially dogs. Dog hair, dog smell...I just find it revolting and couldn’t stand it.

AnotherPidgey · 24/12/2018 10:26

There's a difference in a light film of "dirt", crumbs, pet hair, dust that has gathered between cleanings and is easily wiped or vacummed away in a regular clean, and deep ingrained dirt that has built up over months or years and needs significant effort to deep clean if that's even possible still.

A house of hoarded rubbish so the functions of the house are obstructed, and filthy so that anything ends up getting grubby or sticky, and smells is not a pleasant, healthy environment. A bit cluttery, and grubby but easily remidied is fine. Nothing wrong with being clean and tidy, unless it's to the extent where housekeeping curtails family life, which does happen sometimes where cleaning is a form of control and a symptom of anxiety/ OCD type disorders. Overzealous use of cleaning products is neither healthy for people nor the environment.

Sitranced · 24/12/2018 10:28

I resent the implication that those who have clean houses do not have fun.

Purplecatshopaholic · 24/12/2018 10:29

Just to add I have a large dog and 3 cats. House is tidy (I do like tidy!) and I consider it clean - but as someone said we all have different standards re that. I will hoover a couple of times a week (I could knit extra cats with the cat hair, lol) but dont get unduly stressed about it - life is too short to continually wash your kitchen floor.....

dolliebauble · 24/12/2018 10:31

A spray mop? What magic is this? I need one.

Stoneagemum · 24/12/2018 10:34

My home is a tip, I just can't be arsed to clean and tidy more that the basics of food & toilet higene - see I can't even spell it!
I do enjoy visiting others that have the clean gene but it's just not me

Juells · 24/12/2018 10:36

I draw the line at having animals in the house, especially dogs.

Life's not worth living without dogs Grin

Love51 · 24/12/2018 10:37

On Mumsnet it often sounds like people's houses are always clean or always mucky. In my house, each room is clean, then needs cleaning, then possibly really needs cleaning, then back to clean again. The kitchen goes through this cycle more than once daily, the spare room takes weeks! I sometimes have a young visitor who can't walk and prefers not to use a wheelchair in my house, so occasionally the floors are absolutely sparkling beautiful and spotless, other days 'good enough' is good enough.
I have realised recently I need to spend less time thinking about cleaning and more time getting on with it!

buckingfrolicks · 24/12/2018 10:46

This kind of thread makes me think of the competitive doorstep scrubbing of times past, and the "cleanliness being next to godliness" crap, and the relentless pressure on women to be clean in their person and their home. Utter bollocks.

floodypuddle · 24/12/2018 10:48

I'm by no means all that tidy but dogs are awful for cleaning up after and is the main reason I don't have one.

My parent house is like yours and they don't see a problem but it gives me breathing problems and I spend my visits forcing myself not to crack out the bleach. Brother is the same, he has cat allergies and they have three cats so he spends any visits with his eyes streaming and sneezing. I've sent my mum a link to one of those vacuum/mop two in ones as I think the biggest problem with dogs if they leave all the fluff which you have to vacuum, plus then muddy paw prints which need mopping. I couldn't be bothered!

I'm betting guests don't like it too much but are too polite to say.

Purplecatshopaholic · 24/12/2018 10:49

Seriously are any of us going to look back on our death beds saying golly I wish I had spent more time cleaning the house...? I won't that's for sure

NoraButty · 24/12/2018 10:50

I read a tip a few years ago that I find works. It was basically to have a home that looks clean with little effort to keep surfaces clutter free and clean, so floors, worktops and table/dresser/drawer tops.

We have a long kitchen diner room and just clearing and polishing the table alone makes a huge difference so I always do at least that daily. Wood polish makes it smell clean too Grin

DarlingNikita · 24/12/2018 10:52

I have a cleaner once a week but beyond that, all I do is wipe the hob and chopping board and sweep the kitchen floor after cooking; dust off the odd picture-top with a finger as I pass; wipe toothpaste flecks off the bathroom mirror with a towel.

I don't care much about either mess or (within reason) dirt.

starcrossedseahorse · 24/12/2018 10:52

Ha! OP your place sounds like ours. We are out in the country with a fleet of gundogs, chickens and even the odd sheep now and then. We have wood and tile floors, the dogs have their own sofa (but sofa creep is a very real thing!) and a boot room where everything outdoors is supposed to end up but... it doesn't always happen!

We are not precious and live a happy, relaxed life. Dust and paw prints do not phase us and people have many times commented on the 'happy' vibe in out house. Grin

starcrossedseahorse · 24/12/2018 10:53

Nora completely agree about the smell of wood polish...it's lovely!

starcrossedseahorse · 24/12/2018 10:54

Life's not worth living without dogs

Amen.

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