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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else has converted faith to get into a school?

120 replies

JumpingJunipersBatman · 23/12/2018 23:58

OK. So I know people have but what does it actually entail?

I was raised rc but am atheist. We are looking at getting our agnostic 8 year converted (is that the right word?) to open up school choices but I'm not sure what that would mean in practice.

I'll make an appointment with a preist to discuss but what should I expect and for those who have done exactly this, what did you tell the preist when he asked about your reasons?

I know this may be seen by some as disrespectful or playing the system and it possibly is.

OP posts:
LotsToThinkOf · 24/12/2018 00:03

You're disrespectful and playing the system.

You don't believe in religion, that doesn't make it ok to lie. And the suggestion of lying to the priest...

Disgusting. And even worse when you get a school place for your child over a family who haven't been dishonest about their religious beliefs. I could go on about how angry people like you make me but I can't be bothered.

howonearthdoyoucopewith3 · 24/12/2018 00:07

It's not worth it. You would have to spend every weekend going to church, especially for a Catholic Church you need to sign a register to show attendance. Why would you spend every weekend at church if you don't believe? And why would you want your child surrounded by religion at school if you don't believe? Our children go to a CofE school (we are both churchgoers and have been since we were kids) and they pray 3 times a day and religion is a huge element of assemblies and the teaching. Why would you choose a school like that if you don't believe?!!

NoIAmSpartacus · 24/12/2018 00:12

A lot of parents I know did this with their DC to get them into the naice religious school in our area. They had to prove they'd attended church every weekend for 2 or 3 years prior to applying for this school.

I'm atheist but I think it's disgusting.

Ploverlover · 24/12/2018 00:13

It depends on the area exactly how much church attendance is required.

Tbh, it's much harder if you've let her get to 8 with no baptism. She will have to do rcic, which requires more assent to the whole thing.

Have you checked the admission criteria? Having a Catholic parent (which you are, if baptised, they never let you leave...) can be enough.

TheQueef · 24/12/2018 00:15

Baptism catechism all the Sunday school it really isn't so easy.

Ploverlover · 24/12/2018 00:15

Lots of priests won't care about your reasons.

"I'm Catholic, never got round to having this 8 year old baptised, want to correct that, what should we do?" They will just be glad to get a victim convert.

Amanduh · 24/12/2018 00:19

I know loads who have.
They didnt go to church regularly. Just got baptised.

MadameJosephine · 24/12/2018 00:21

How are you going to explain it to your 8 year old though? You don’t believe and neither do they so are you going to ask them to lie? I wouldn’t do it myself but I can just about get my head around baptism of a baby for this purpose as they’d be none the wiser but asking an 8 year old to be an active participant in deception doesn’t sit right with me

Original poster
JumpingJunipersBatman · 24/12/2018 00:55

She has to go to church regularly as part of cubs. Not every Sunday but regularly. It's CofE though. Both sets of grandparents are regular church goers (CofE and RC) and she sometimes goes to church things with them. They understand what we are considering and accept it.

She is interested in faith and actually enjoys church and we'd be very open to having discussions about it so from that point of view I'd say it would be good for her. If she goes on to believe, then we'd genuingely respect that. We wouldn't agree with her but would help her.

I was christened, did First Holy Communion, Confirmation etc. My primary school was very religious, 5 sets of prayers a day, mass once a week at school and then another most Sundays and daily trips to the associated church during certain times of the year. Can't remember much of the teachings though tbh.

I've never had to sign a register at any church.

The schools we're interested in aren't as religious as that and tbh it's a compromise we'd be willing to make when you look at the educational alternatives in the area. The seconday schools in the area are absolutely shocking and moving isn't an option.

Parents have done much worse. I also find it funny that people are so anti us doing this now but if we'd been organised enough to get her christened as a baby but only start going to church now, no one would be bothered.

I appreciate the comments from people who have answered my question. Was that from experience? I'm not really sure what to say to the preist though. In your experience was it the school that requires proof of attendance or do they ask the preist? I know I need to ask the school and preist but I'm just trying to get an idea.

I know we should have done it when she was younger.

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 24/12/2018 01:16

I wasn't aware you had to be baptised to get into a rc school in the UK?
If that is the case I would probably do the same.
You do not have to be rc to go to a rc school in Ireland. My DC go to a rc school but lots of the other children are from different religious back rounds.

EmeraldShamrock · 24/12/2018 01:23

When I had DS christened, there was an older child been baptised as she wanted to make her holy communion.
It was very modern Wink

Fantasisa · 24/12/2018 01:26

OP, I haven’t had to do this but I absolutely would have done if it had meant my DC got into a better school. I think education should be secular anyway so I don’t care if it is playing the system and I would have absolutely no qualms about it. But you will need to check what the rules are around your school and catchment etc, some are stricter than others!

Redskyandrainbows67 · 24/12/2018 01:29

Don’t you just say you are a lapsed Catholic and you are finding your faith again

MrsTerryPratcett · 24/12/2018 01:33

You're disrespectful and playing the system.

It's a disgusting, discriminatory system. I have no time for state-funded education controlled by religions. If we invented a system now, there is not way on earth it would be allowed. It's only allowed now because of the UK's weird history and the bankrupt education system.

moredoll · 24/12/2018 01:34

i don't know anyone who converted but I know plenty of people who found God.

You're disrespectful and playing the system.

The system. It's designed to benefit those who play by the rules. So play by the rules. They make the rules, just play by them. I get what you're saying but one person can't change the system. If it benefits my child to go to church once a fortnight for three years I'll go. And so would many other people. That's why the churches stay open. So it benefits them.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 24/12/2018 01:36

I don’t think it is disrespectful as you are clearly a latent Catholic

JustABetterPlayer · 24/12/2018 01:38

There nothing really wrong with it, it’s no different to renting a second home to get a better catchment area (a little crappy, but allowed!).

moredoll · 24/12/2018 01:42

You don’t believe and neither do they so are you going to ask them to lie?

I don't think the OP knows whether or not her DD believes. It's not clear if her DD knows - she is only 8 after all.

Dixiechickonhols · 24/12/2018 01:43

Have you checked the admissions criteria. RC secondary near us just needs baptism certificate. C of E wants christened plus register signing in church 3 out of 4 weeks for all of yr 4 and 5.

KeepServingTheFestiveSnogs · 24/12/2018 01:47

I work in an RC school. Entrance criteria starts off like other schools (so LAC, etc get priority) (if these initials don't mean anything to you, I'll explain them, but they're every school).

After that then it's on baptism. Address doesn't matter, and older sibs will bump you up, but it's baptism, baptism.

If there's space afterwards, they'll take you. But if you want to be guaranteed a place, baptism is the way to go!

You SHOULD be aware though, that if your DC go to a faith school, there's going to be a LOT of faith stuff (think, as PP have said, at least 3 prayers a day and all the peers doing communion, etc). You can't complain about this - you knew what you were signing up for!

moredoll · 24/12/2018 01:51

if your DC go to a faith school, there's going to be a LOT of faith stuff (think, as PP have said, at least 3 prayers a day and all the peers doing communion, etc).

I went to faith schools for primary and most of secondary. It meant church once a week, and that was it really. So it will vary from diocese to diocese.

Nakedavenger74 · 24/12/2018 01:52

@LotsToThinkOf I certainly can be bothered to tell you how angry it make me that my tax money goes to fuel discriminatory admissions practices in schools.

OP lie away. It's a state school and your child has every damn right to go it.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 24/12/2018 01:59

Renting a second home to get a better catchment is certainly not allowed and in some circumstances is actually fraud punishable as a criminal offence. Your child risks being thrown out of school if you do this.

jessstan2 · 24/12/2018 02:06

I've not known people actually convert to get their child into a faith school but have known some who are lapsed and bent over backwards and sideways to do so. It worked too!

What was funny was that they moved house after a while and then did the same with another faith school - different faith to original one.

Strange.

SD1978 · 24/12/2018 02:15

It's no different to any other lapsed catholic using baptism to better school chances. I seriously doubt every child in a catholic school has religious parents, observing every Sunday and all other holidays. Maybe they did once, but not anymore. The OP is just being honest. You can guarantee that if asked, many parents in a religious school have done the same thing.