Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to wonder if my creepy neighbour sabotaged my car?

72 replies

TotalWhittle · 23/12/2018 17:17

I need some objective viewpoints, as I'm not sure if I'm getting paranoid or if something weird is going on here. Blush

I got to know my next door neighbour last year when I was single. He was very interested in dating and so was I initially, but he came on very strong and got extremely controlling very quickly. After we got chatting and swapped numbers, he tried to insist on me seeing him straight away. The last time it happened he asked to see me, I said I was out with friends and he asked to see me when I got back. I said politely that I wouldn't be back until very late and had to go to work at 5am so I wanted to go straight to bed. First he said I should come and sleep with him, then apologised when I said that was way too far, then he tried to insist I just pop in and see him for five minutes so he could apologise. I said no, so he said he'd bought me a "treat" and I just needed to come by and pick it up and then he'd "let me" go home. I told him that wasn't happening. So he watched for me getting home, then came over and knocked, so I ignored him, then he texted to say he'd left my "treats" (that word makes me shudder) on the doorstep! Turned out to be chocolates which I threw in the bin. I told him I wasn't interested after that. He texted me for months begging for another chance, then fell quiet. (I didn't block him as I'd rather he was able to text me than come and knock on my door, but I was politely clear that I wasn't interested.) He completely blanks me now but his expression is always furious when he does.

Now the car stuff: I live in a small group of houses with a secure gate and shared car park. A young single neighbour, around my age, was recently driven out by someone repeatedly putting nails under her wheels and at other times letting her tyres down). She lodged a report with the police but there was no evidence of who did it, and she eventually gave up and moved out. So that was horrible for her (and weird for us all, as we knew it was someone in the estate).

Then weird stuff started happening to me too, after I got a new boyfriend. First, my boyfriend parked his car in one of the two "spare" spaces for two days the first time he stayed over (it's in everyone's contracts that these spaces are first come first served for visitors, and they are almost never used). We were walking to the houses from his car and creepy neighbour bumped into us, looked furious but then ignored us. After that during the day, someone printed a (fake, as it turns out) warning notice, supposedly from the estate management service, saying this was an allocated space and threatening to have boyfriend's car towed unless he moved it. A quick google showed it was printed from a general online generator, but just in case it was actually the management I called them and turns out they hadn't left the notice. We moved the car out onto the next street for future visits anyway, as we thought if someone cared enough to leave threatening notes then they might well be capable of keying the car or something. Thought that was the end of it. But we just found today that someone had let down his tyre (no puncture but totally flat; fine once re-inflated). Again, weird.

Finally, I had a car accident last month. I noticed my steering was a bit "weird" (felt loose?) when I was out driving, but didn't quite register it before turning a corner, losing control and smacking into a tree. I was going an appropriate speed, had just had the car serviced a month earlier (everything was fine) and have never had an accident. Unfortunately I sustained a head injury and the car was written off and scrapped before I recovered enough to think about this sort of thing, so I'll never know if someone tampered with it.

I know these things happen, but with the other things that have gone on and now boyfriend's tyre being let down today, I wonder if the person who victimised my poor neighbour might also be targeting me (and no prizes for guessing who, if so). I'm entirely open to being told I'm paranoid. Grin Thoughts?

OP posts:
HeathRobinson · 23/12/2018 17:19

Cameras.

Confusedbeetle · 23/12/2018 17:22

report it

AntiHop · 23/12/2018 17:22

Jesus Christ. Yes, cameras are a good idea. Can you move?

waxy1 · 23/12/2018 17:23

Sounds unlikely.

happinessischocolate · 23/12/2018 17:24

I would ask a mechanic whether the steering is something that could be sabotaged easily from outside the car. I've had steering problems and the steering column made a massive bang before the steeeing went and if the fluid gets drained it makes a hell of a noise before it actually goes. Tbh I'd have thought it would have been easier for him to sabotage your brakes, but as I say ask a mechanic.

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 17:24

Cameras cameras cameras.

My DM's friend had a similar issue with nails being put in her car tyres. She had argued with the guy next door about car parking and she knew it was him.

She had cameras installed while neighbours were at work. Turned out she was it right, it was the neighbour.

But not the one she was convinced it was!! It was a woman who was always pleasant to her face. Police were involved and it stopped.

Cameras!

Littleraindrop15 · 23/12/2018 17:28

What à psycho !!

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2018 17:31

I don't think that you are being paranoid about someone being a dick.

I doubt that anyone had tampered with your car, there are alsorts of things that can go wrong with the steering without being tampered with.

Although you may want to keep an eye on your "creepy neighbour" being "creepy" doesn't mean that he is the one that is doing these things.

BerylStreep · 23/12/2018 17:32

Another one for cameras. And dash cam.

Your neighbour does sound very intense with the potential to become fixated.

I wonder were the nuts on one of your wheels loosened? I hope you have recovered from the accident.

HollowTalk · 23/12/2018 17:32

It would be very interesting to know if he'd fixated on the other woman who left. Is there any way of finding that out?

kalefire · 23/12/2018 17:40

Don't suppose you're still in touch with the woman who has moved out?

Dramallama16 · 23/12/2018 18:01

I just asked mechanic DH if it’s possible to damage the steering from the outside of the vehicle and he said it’s very easy. He said anyone with minimal knowledge of cars could do it. I would report this to the police OP. He sounds very dangerous.

TotalWhittle · 23/12/2018 18:03

Thanks for the advice so far everyone. Smile I do agree with those who say it seems like a stretch, but it's just a bit weird that my boyfriend has had a car issue today too. Could all be coincidence, but someone has definitely tampered with his car and someone was definitely messing with my neighbour, so it's certainly on my mind that they might have messed with me too (particularly given the fake parking notice which shows someone was trying to make my boyfriend's life difficult, when he doesn't know anyone here).

Happiness and Beryl, it could have been the brakes or a wheel I guess - I just remember the car spinning out of control and then the crash. It was pretty horrible. Thanks for asking Beryl, I'm feeling much better now. Smile

I've been thinking about cameras too - probably have to speak to the management company, but we pay a service charge and this is an ongoing problem so I'm hoping they might be willing to consider it. I can't move house as I've bought here and anyway it's (usually) a lovely community in a friendly area - we don't even fight over parking. Grin

Unfortunately I wasn't that close with the (nice) neighbour so we're not still in touch - I just knew her to speak to, and she posted the crime reference number and a description of what was going on on the communal notice board with a plea for people to speak to the police if we had any info.

AllKinds - Shock

OP posts:
AllKinds · 23/12/2018 18:05

I would report this to the police OP. He sounds very dangerous.

Report what? Jeeze, there's no evidence whatsoever. Innocent until gulity, and all that. You can't just assume it's him.

Cameras!

Starheart · 23/12/2018 18:09

I think it would be worth going to the police to speak with them about what's happened . As you live on your own I would be keen to see what they would advise .

blackcat86 · 23/12/2018 18:10

Definitely get cameras, maybe consider your home security/online security generally. As much as I'd hate to see you driven out of your home I would consider moving if I was you. Your boyf should also think about his personal safety. If someone is unhinged enough to tamper with your cars who knows what they may do.

TotalWhittle · 23/12/2018 18:11

I didn't include this because the OP was long enough already, but on the morning I had the crash, I found a small towel carefully tucked against my front wheel. No one has laundry there as the car park is nowhere near the gardens (other side of the houses). I can't see how it's relevant but did find it weird (and must admit I immediately thought of poor nice neighbour and carefully checked for nails on the ground), so I guess that's contributing to my suspicions. I'm aware I have no actual logical reason why this would bother me - just another strange thing.

DramaLlama, that's pretty disturbing.

OP posts:
TotalWhittle · 23/12/2018 18:14

Starheart, I've been wondering if it might be worth giving the local station a call - partly why I started this thread, just to see if I was being ridiculous. For all I know, nice neighbour might have had her own concerns about this guy. (Or not, of course.) On the other hand, I don't want to make trouble for him if he hasn't done anything. Creepy and controlling obviously doesn't automatically make him responsible for any of this.

OP posts:
TotalWhittle · 23/12/2018 18:16

Blackcat (sorry for triple post everyone), I mostly sleep at my boyfriend's these days which has removed the niggling worry. I love my home but - whether or not creeper is responsible for the car stuff - his presence nearby after the weird way he acted makes me a bit uncomfortable. Sometimes he waits for me when he sees me coming out.

OP posts:
Tara336 · 23/12/2018 18:17

Could you get a dashcam? Some record when the cars disturbed. At very least you will either catch him in the act or deter him

Starheart · 23/12/2018 18:18

In terms of personal safety, I am a firm believer in their is no such thing as being over cautious. You should feel safe where you live and have every right to ask for advice in any situation that makes you feel unsafe.

LanerandPhn · 23/12/2018 18:18

Report it to the police. He has probably got a history if it is him and they will be able to have a word. Leopards don’t change their spots and this is all far too coincidental.

As for steering failing and you crashing as a result it just doesn’t happen. Steering is carefully checked as part of your annual service and MOT and they are red hot on it. They test it very carefully because a steering failure is likely to lead to a serious accident.

Sounds like someone has tampered, again let the police know. Too many coincidences going on here.

Thingsdogetbetter · 23/12/2018 18:20

You have a crime number for a similar crime. Contact police with the number and report. It may or may not be creepy neighbour but it sure as hell sounds like it's someone!

Thehop · 23/12/2018 18:22

Cameras for sure

Troels · 23/12/2018 18:24

Front and rear motion activated dash cams would only record of there was movement around your car. I put those in first so you can at least have a quick look make sure no one has touched the car overnight and feel safe driving it. Don't let him chase you out of your home.