Not sure what I am hoping to gain from this post. Have had a few glasses of wine. Trying to create the perfect Christmas for my little family. Have spent way too much. Keep thinking about Christmas when I was a child and the magical time it was. So much melancholy. Am facing a huge rape trial in the new year involving my DD. He will probably be acquitted because most rapists are and just dont know how to cope with the fall out from that. I am trying so hard to be festive. My house looks like Santa's grotto. I just feel so so sad. Why does Xmas do this. I am lucky on so many levels compared to people having a really shit time of it. AIBU to to be struggling on so many levels? Does anyone else feel like this?