Welcome to my pity party Trigger warning: Rape [Edited by MNHQ]

[Tryingbutfailingmiserably]

Not sure what I am hoping to gain from this post. Have had a few glasses of wine. Trying to create the perfect Christmas for my little family. Have spent way too much. Keep thinking about Christmas when I was a child and the magical time it was. So much melancholy. Am facing a huge rape trial in the new year involving my DD. He will probably be acquitted because most rapists are and just dont know how to cope with the fall out from that. I am trying so hard to be festive. My house looks like Santa's grotto. I just feel so so sad. Why does Xmas do this. I am lucky on so many levels compared to people having a really shit time of it. AIBU to to be struggling on so many levels? Does anyone else feel like this?

Christmas always accentuates anything going wrong in your life, You will feel better next week

I think there's so much pressure around Christmas anyway, particularly about Christmas Day itself being 'perfect'. And you've obviously got so much going on in the background.
I actively look forward to Boxing Day as it's so relaxing after Chistmas Day.

Best wishes for the New Year.

Urgh what an awful thing for you and DD to go through. You're right, he probably woll be :( you will get through this and justice will fall on him somehow x

Omg, I hope your daughter is OK? It must feel horrendous to have to go through something like this and face the injustice! Stay strong, fingers crossed the guy(s) will get what they deserve!

Thank you. Have been trying to stay strong for a year and a half. I guess I am just papering over the cracks by trying to create a perfect Xmas. I dont even know what that looks like anymore

Hi OP

We've added a trigger warning to your thread now. Sending love from MNHQ.

Sorry.... I should have done that

OP I can't imagine there are many things that are more daunting than what you're facing. Fwiw I'm sorry and I wish you and your family so much strength. I hope you manage to find some peace this Christmas and yes I think a lot of people are feeling very sad at this time of year

I think Christmas accentuates any negative thing in your life sometimes. I lost a family member close to Christmas and it's only been in recent years that I've been a bit more "joyful" at Christmas.

I think it's natural to try to make some sort of normality for your family and Christmas is so hyped up to be fun and happy that by embracing it you're (not you specifically) trying to give your family that. Maybe because of the awful things that have happened you feel you need to compensate for that. And I don't mean that that isa bad thing. Do you have other children you need to keep a Christmas normal for? How old is your daughter?

I don't think any of us could imagine what you and your family are going through, and putting on an extra special Christmas is just like wanting to wrap a big blanket round everyone. That's not a bad thing!

I think you are remarkable for staying sane in these difficult times, I know from my history I would have said sod Christmas and not bothered. You're making an effort to maintain normality. I think you are being hard on yourself.

I'm sorry I have no advice. I will be thinking of you over Christmas op. I hope you find some.peace over this festive period.

Your poor DD and poor you. The length of time these things take can be utterly harrowing.

I just wanted to let you know that if you need support at all Rape Crisis supports survivors of sexual violence, but also those who are supporting survivors of sexual violence (and this is often Mums).

I hope that you manage to get some peace and enjoy the company of those around you over Christmas.

I am truly saddened that you and your Dd are facing such an awful time.

I hope whoever he is will suffer immensely. It seems utterly unfair, and I know it just just seem like a terribly unfair legal system... because it frequently is!

I hope you get some peace and some small good feeling this Christmas. It sounds trite, but just keep on going.

Thank you for your kind words

A few years ago I was awaiting a major court trial during Christmas. It was so stressful, upsetting and scary. I think you have to take one hour at a time, be kind to yourself and your family and keep right away from anything whatsoever that could increase your stress.

Massive hugs to you and I very much hope the trial is fair and that you all have good support around you. Try not to be scared and IF the defendant is found not guilty you will know you all did your best and that a lot of people did believe your dd- most cases don’t get past the CPS.