In wanting to end a friendship/poke sticks in their eyes?!

[fourstars]

NC'd for this as it may be outing.

DH, dd (4) and I went out on a Christmas outing with friends and their kids (2 & 5) yesterday.

We met up, did the activity, they came back to our house for a couple of hours then we went for dinner.

Their kids were jumping all over our beds and playing with ds's toys.

At dinner the kids all sat together and we're sharing off of each other's plates.

Towards the end of the meal the Dad says how they've all had fucking norovirus and the 2 year old had only stopped throwing up that morning!!

I'm fucking furious.

12-48 days puts us squarely in Christmas.

What the FUCK were they thinking??? Now I'm going to be paranoid as hell for the next 24 hours.

Not to mention they were in a busy place with lots of people, including a lot of babies.

Gahhhhh. People.

They've turned up at our house before with stinking colds, coughs etc which they've passed on but this has actually made me feel so mad I don't know I want to continue the friendship.

Am I being over the top and unreasonable?

No drama needed but a firm curt text message required telling them exactly what the consquences of their selfish inability could be and how you do not appreciate being put in that situation.

I get you're anxious, goes without saying they were very U. Fingers crossed for you.

Forget about it now and act as if it didn’t happen. Otherwise you are going to be paranoid the whole time thinking is this it? Obviously it ring change the fact it might happen but no point in worrying about it on top. I know that’s easier said than done.

End of the friendship. Though I might tell them why, in the hope that they'd be more considerate to other people in the future.

I think with noro you're still pretty contagious a few days afterwards. Everything I've read says 3 days definitely and up to two weeks.

I wouldn't expect people to stay in for two weeks but definitely more than a few hours!

And if it was the week before, I'd expect them to have told me and not let them share food!!

YANBU OP, utterly selfish and thoughtless of them I'd be furious and end the friendship. I have anxiety and emetophobia so like you this would make my anxiety unmanageable and ruin my Christmas. I really hope you don't get it and have a lovely Christmas

Oh god that's so inconsiderate.

I really hope you don't end up with it for Christmas and nope I wouldn't be seeing them again ever!

As an emetophobe, I would be beyond fuming at this. End of a friendship for me. So utterly selfish. As long as their darlings are feeling better, right? 🙄. I'd be messaging them to let them know how selfish I thought they'd been and reminding them of the condition your DH and DD have. Hope you don't get it.

I would be fuming.

And yes, I'd email and tell them exactly what they have done / put you at risk of -on christmas day and how everyone else in the cafe etc is in the same boat.

That is very selfish and/or unthinking behaviour on the part of your friends. Also behaviour that is totally outside your control.

However, 2 things are within your control: your response to them now and how you deal with the information for yourself

You say you were too stunned to react at the time. I think if you are this upset you deffo need to let them know how you feel. It's up to you if you want to end the friendship about it but either way, I think they need to know you are v upset that they have potentially passed an unpleasant virus onto you.

Dealing with the knowledge that one or more of you may come down with Norovirus, is entirely within your control. You don't have to spend the time up until Christmas in a panic about it. That will only serve to spoil even more of your precious Christmas holiday time if you do then go on to get the virus. So that bit is your call to make. I wouldn't dwell on what might happen, and focus on making the most of your time together as you are currently all healthy.

Fingers crossed you are spared!

Ah man I would be apocalyptic in your shoes OP.

Well there's nothing much you can do now apart from quarantine prep. Disposable gloves, bleach, spray bottle, buckets and lots and lots of handwashing.

Make up the bleach solution now and go round doing all touchables, remotes, door handles, taps, toilets, toys etc. If one person gets it keep them.upstairs and bleach each time to go to the bathroom.

And message your friends that under no circumstances do you want contact with them if they have illness amongst them, even if it makes you sound precious, they need the direct approach.

they WHAT?

Awful and selfish.

I never ever felt the same about a friend who brought her chickenpox infected DC to see my 2 day old baby.

Is there anything at all you can do to try to shore up you and your family's immunity in the short term? Lots of vitamin C, echinacea? . I would be washing the sheets and soft toys in a soda crystal solution.

Am I the only one who was also appalled that children were jumping on beds? Definite no no in our house.

I'd be furious too. No way should they be out in a restaurant or meeting up with anyone.
Let's hope though that if they felt well enough to be eating restaurant food after just getting over being ill that it wasn't actually full on noro virus. Most people take longer than that to regain their appetite.It's still not great but hopefully a bit less contagious.

My DD threw up yesterday afternoon, it was a one off and likely food related, but I cancelled all Sunday plans esp where they would involve children.... Pure selfishness on your "friends'" behalf.... Ditch ditch ditch

I never ever felt the same about a friend who brought her chickenpox infected DC to see my 2 day old baby.

I'm surprised that wasn't the end of the friendship completely. What a thing to do.

I would be raging.
If it’s rige you will all certainly have it within 12 hours I would say.
My Mum came once, didn’t know she had it, I looked after her and bleached everything but still came down with it within 12 hours or so. How awful for you.

That's immensely selfish of them. Give DC hot baths, hair wash, TCP gargle and spray every surface with Dettol. Change all towels, throws and bedding they've been on. I really hope you don't get it.

If you get it, don't tell them. Arrange another playdate asap. Give it back to them.

I feel your rage. A guy at work came back in just a few hours after being sick. I spent my first 3 days annual leave being sick, and now DD has it. So utterly selfish. You might get away with it, I'll keep everything crossed for you.

Massive over reaction.

Yes I would be annoyed IF any of my brood became sick 48-72 hours after socialising with people who were still within the incubation period of norovirus.

But to end a friendship over it shows that actually your friendship was never there in the first place!

I have friends who do stuff that ducking annoy the shit of me, but I wouldn’t end a friendship over that.

Noro virus isn't just being sick though, it's horrific and hospitalises the vulnerable!!!

Was it definitely norovirus? That flattens you right out. You wouldn't be vomiting and then bouncing round a few hours later would you? Maybe it was just a small bug and he was exaggerating?

Our friends did something similar yesterday- met at a place with lots of kids-“oh, x was sick just before we left the house, but we think it’s nothing much!”

GREAT

I think that's deplorable. And i wouldnt be going out of my way to see them again

If it's any help with your anxiety my you best keeps bringing vomit bugs into the house and the last one was 2 vomits and d(4/5) of us got it. Eldest was eating a cheese sandwich a few hours after.

Fingers x it's that if anything. But really hope NOTHING!