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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think she should've cancelled her hair appointment!

104 replies

redtulip19 · 23/12/2018 13:38

I am absolutely livid and am blaming myself but I was not aware! Please help! I am a mobile hairdresser and regular client who is also distant family, booked to have her hair done today. It was a longer trip as she's moved and I had to take my dd(3) with me.
I got there started the colouring process and she mentions she was off work yesterday with D&V. That she got it off another women who she works with and her kids have been fine but she stopped being sick yesterday afternoon! I'm was actually going to leave but had to finish the service. I kept my gloves on for the whole time didn't drink from any cups and left and was only there an hour or so. I got straight home and dragged me and my little girl in the bath washed our hair and bodies.
I am absolutely livid to think she didn't tell me before hand otherwise I wouldn't have gone ! And to think it's so selfish to put the health of others at risk just to have her hair done! What's wrong with ppl ! 🤬🤬 I should've just left Straight away.
I've read you shouldn't really have contact with anyone within 48 hours after last sick episode! I just don't need this crap over Xmas ! I have a fear of vomiting and I'm livid ! What's the likelihood of me and dd getting it? 😫😫

OP posts:

Estellar · 24/12/2018 17:57

YANBU.

Yes, to a pp, we obviously come into contact with bugs all the time. unwittingly. The point is, this woman knew she'd been ill, yet selfishly didn't ring to warn OP which she should have done even if it wasn't Christmas. People can be total arse holes.

Branleuse · 24/12/2018 18:02

YANBU and id be fucking furious

TigerTooth · 24/12/2018 18:04

I agree she should have cancelled or phones and given you the option.
When my kids have colds, tummy bugs etc I always phone various tutors, instrument teachers and say X Gascony a snotty nose/ cough or whatever, do you still want to do the lesson. Most are grateful for the heads up and cancel, others need the cash and come anyway but at least they know.
I think you'll be find but I agree that she was BU.

RCohle · 24/12/2018 18:07

Your level of anxiety over vomiting is unusual though OP. Your client couldn't have known that and it's not reasonable to expect people to act as if everyone they interact with suffers from health anxiety.

The 48 hour rule exists in schools and some jobs, it's not a bloody national quarantine law. If you want to make it a condition of your hairdressing services you need to incorporate it into your Ts&Cs and warn clients in advance.

I also don't understand the point of carrying on with the appointment, saying nothing to the client and then getting wound up about it on the Internet after the event.

BrownEyedGirl32 · 24/12/2018 18:07

Yes, I definitely think she was BU!
My DS brought it home from school and then we all got it. Horrible bug and advice says you should wait 48 hours post vomiting. I had to cancel two nights out and a beauty appointment today! Pain in the ass but didn’t want to spread it. Hope you stay healthy OP

AntiHop · 24/12/2018 18:09

Yanbu. She should have cancelled. Hope you didn't catch it

Boulty · 24/12/2018 18:18

" our level of anxiety over vomiting is unusual though OP. Your client couldn't have known that and it's not reasonable to expect people to act as if everyone they interact with suffers from health anxiety.

I also don't understand the point of carrying on with the appointment, saying nothing to the client and then getting wound up about it on the Internet after the event."

This... perfectly put

Thisonewilldo · 24/12/2018 18:33

I get the worry and I would also have been livid!

As long as both you and your DD practiced good hand hygeine you should be fine, these things are not airbourne. I think it was very wise to have a bath when you got home. Try not to worry

Angiemum24 · 24/12/2018 18:50

She should have told you. I would have left ASAP but I understand why you stayed.
Bloody disgusting.

FilledSoda · 24/12/2018 19:04

I'd be furious.
I cancelled a dentist appt because I had had a bug for the two days prior, not because I wasn't well enough to go but because I didn't want the dentist and nurses to catch it , is that not just the decent thing to do?

strawberrypenguin · 24/12/2018 19:15

Not over reacting at all. And she doesn't know her kids don't have it as they aren't 48hours clear yet.
She was very very selfish. I hope you and DD don't pick it up.

manicmij · 24/12/2018 19:53

If your client hadn't told you about the D & V you, you would have carried on as usual. Dunking in a bath would do you no good to protect yourself and DD apart from cleaning your hands. With you having had gloves on all the time that would go a huge way to prevent contamination as long as you didn't place in mouth or eyes. You are over-reacting.

Hushhush89 · 24/12/2018 21:29

Defiantly not over reacting.... I can't stand it when I hear people have been sick all night but because they feel better in the morning they still go to appointments, have people round, send kids to school.... the 48hr rule isn't just for schools, it's what everyone should be doing so they don't pass it on to others....

Hushhush89 · 24/12/2018 21:32

Hope you and DD have managed to avoid it and have a lovely Christmas....

I know exactly what you mean by jumping straight into the bath, about 2 years ago all I kept hearing was the amount of children that had it at my girls school, so everyday after school their clothes went straight on a wash and they both into the showers, and thankfully they didn't catch d&v but instead caught chicken pox

Itssosunnyout · 24/12/2018 21:33

She should have let you know before the appointment

Witchofzog · 24/12/2018 21:39

The level of anxiety is NOT unusual. Ffs it's Christmas. Why would anyone willingly expose themselves to d & v? The client should not have attended the appointment. It is fucking selfish to ignore the 48 hour "rule/recommendation" which exists for a bloody good reason.

Witchofzog · 24/12/2018 21:41

And as for blaming the op for continuing the hair appointment. The dye was already on by this point. What on earth was she supposed to do. Words fail me

currentcake · 24/12/2018 21:48

Working as a nurse in a large hospital you can imagine the amount of infections I come across and I don't get paid any extra if I catch something. You could be on public transport and touch something someone with an infection has touched/sneezed on. ATM machines etc or just in the vicinity of someone with something...and you don't even know it
Huge overreaction from you OP

Chucky16 · 24/12/2018 22:22

@ redtulip19 she has BVU, you ANBU. I would be livid too. As previously stated by another poster the NHS state a period of 48 hours free from D&V, before anyone returning to work, this should also apply to not having people other than family in her house. The poster who was a teacher and said that they do not have a period of exclusion, I would suggest you check the policy as I would be very surprised if there was not a procedure regarding this. In fact if my child was in your class, and caught D&V after you had gone back to work early, I would be putting in an official complaint against you (no I could not be sure it was you he caught it from, but you had significantly increased the risk) as my son is severely immuno compromised and D&V could lead to him being very ill and requiring hospitalisation. I work for the NHS and if I returned to work within the exclusion period I would be sent straight home and receive disciplinary action.
I think your client was completely out of order. It is all very well saying you should have left as soon as you knew, but it is very difficult to do so and you are a professional who had started a job (though it would have served her right if you had left her hair half coloured).
I presume she knew dd3 was coming with you? if so, I cannot believe how irresponsible she has been. She had caught the bug from someone at work, so she knew it was infectious! Was having her hair done for Christmas more important than you and your family? I do think you should contact her and tell her you think she was completely out of order and no longer wish her as a client.

Touchmybum · 24/12/2018 22:34

Oh wise up, how many clients have you come in contact with who didn't tell you they had recently been sick? You are going to run into ill people unless you live in a bubble. Go and enjoy your Christmas and forget about it!!!

Dita73 · 24/12/2018 23:32

I’m with you on this. I’m emetophobic too and I’d be absolutely terrified. Please ignore all the comments telling you to pull yourself together,get a grip,etc. These people are clueless and have no idea how crippling anxiety is. I’ve had to deal with this all my life. I’m fairly certain you will be ok. I’d love to tell you to try not to think about it but I know you will. Does she know about your phobia? She could be one of those arseholes who says things like this to see how you react,that’s what most people do when they know. Take each day as it comes and I’m sure you’ll be ok. Sending love

Lillyringlet · 24/12/2018 23:34

Awful person - tell her that you are dropping her as a client as you or your daughter could have a lower immune system due to health or pregnancy. If she is d&v in future that she should warn people she's booked to meet if within the 48 hours.

My cousins got lower immune system kicking her arse so cancelled her mum coming to visit because my husband had been ill and he wasn't even going to be there! People who don't think about their action and never face the consequences of their thoughtlessness will never learn.

I completely understand why you didn't stop straight away but she is totally in the wrong and a stupid cow for not cancelling.

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 25/12/2018 01:17

It’s done now and hopefully you didn’t catch it. But the time to deal with it was then. As soon as she mentioned it, you should have spoken up and told her you would have expected her to cancel and reschedule. I’m sure you would have squeezed her in after her illness but maybe she didn’t know that.

Speak up! If a client is arrogant enough to put you at risk of illness, ask yourself why you can’t defend yourself!

ferrier · 25/12/2018 02:37

YADNBU. Who knowingly exposes themselves to a d&v bug at any time, let along Xmas. Height of selfishness on client's part and I wouldn't be doing her hair again if I was you.

Yidette86 · 25/12/2018 05:47

I don't think you're being unreasonable to have expected her to cancel but it did make me laugh that you reacted a bit OTT by having a bath etc as it doesn't quite work that way, you will come across germs unknowingly every day and you can't react like that, it's a bit extreme and pointless.

But yes, they should have cancelled or have at least informed you before you came so you could have decided yourself.

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