Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To not overcook the meal for MIL (warning: trivial)

71 replies

Oysterbabe · 23/12/2018 13:08

I'm cooking Christmas Dinner for husband, 2 small kids and PIL. When PIL cook they boil the veg until it is mush, cremate all meat just to be on the safe side and I hate it. I prefer my veg almost raw and meat just cooked and still succulent. When I cook MIL nibbles at the food and pushes it around, terrified she'll be poisoned I think. She usually offers to bring food with her, she'd never say so but this is to avoid my cooking. WIBU to cook the veg a bit more than usual but not as much as she would? I'm not overcooking the turkey, it's a dry enough meat as it is. I want it to have flavour and texture, she prefers mush. I could pop some sprouts on now, so they'll be just how she likes them by Christmas, but she would object strongly to me doing her anything separate. She would be very offended and argue to the death that she likes my cooking just the way it is, but she is definitely lying.

OP posts:

DillyDilly · 23/12/2018 14:58

Steamed or boiled veg can be a little bland, why not do something slightly different and roast a tray full of mixed veg ?

knobblytoes · 23/12/2018 14:58

DH's family are like this, veg is cooked to a green soup pulp and meat cremated 'just in case'.
I get PA comments like 'oh is is fashionable to eat raw broccoli?' when I've steamed it for 10 minutes.

I eat what I'm given there and would never dream of commenting and tbh expect the same of my guests. Just ignore Op and hit the wine.

Nellabella · 23/12/2018 15:03

At least your mil doesn’t constantly answer ‘only if you have enough’ or ‘I normally only have a banana for lunch’ every time you ask if she’d like something to eat!

Lynne45 · 23/12/2018 15:06

I would just microwave her veg and stick some turkey slices back in the oven for her! I do this for my mum, she’s also paranoid about food poisoning.

Ilikeknitting · 23/12/2018 15:08

Cook your Christmas lunch the way you and your family like it. Visitors have to learn to adapt if they want a free nosh, no washing up and waitress service! (I’m going to my daughters, but I taught her to cook so I’m ok )

Please don’t pile loads of extra work and stress on yourself by trying to cook mushy foods for the in-laws. Have a great Christmas

Juells · 23/12/2018 15:12

Some of you are just mean How difficult is it to leave some veg cooking for a few minutes longer, and put a few slices of turkey back in the oven in tinfoil while the main bulk of it rests? The poor woman, I bet she's dreading the meal.

OliviaStabler · 23/12/2018 15:12

I do have a meat thermometer and have managed to not poison anyone yet in my many years of cooking.

The issue here is that it isn't about your competence as a cook, but that your MIL likes food a certain way and has a set view in her mind of what she likes and will eat. No thermometer will change her mind believe me.

A good host would provide what their guests like, not force them to eat what the host assumes is the right way to eat meat and veg.

I hate mushy veg but would provide that if that is what some of my guests wanted.

ADastardlyThing · 23/12/2018 15:16

My ILs are like this , it takes zero effort to cook their veg a bit longer. Yabu

LittleBot178 · 23/12/2018 15:20

My MIL is like this. Her turkey instantly turns to dust in the mouth, it’s horrific. Maybe take your veggies out a few mins before hers? But cook the meat how you want and she can microwave it if she wants.

Lovemusic33 · 23/12/2018 15:22

I would just compromise with cooking all the veg a bit longer but not to make it mushy. I like my veg almost raw to but I respect that older generations cook it for a long longer so I go for inbetween. Don’t over cook the turkey though.

Serialweightwatcher · 23/12/2018 15:22

Do what you usually do ... she hasn't made correctly cooked food just to suit you, so in your house suit yourself

Nancydrawn · 23/12/2018 15:38

Juells:

It would be fine if she just said she'd like hers a bit more cooked, no problem. It's just that she'll insist that it's fine and not to do anything different just for her then not eat it. This is passive aggressive. She simultaneously insists that nothing is wrong and then acts, visibly, as if something's wrong (pushing around plate, nibbling, etc.).

If she said it was fine and just ate it, that would not be p-a, even though you know at her house she cooks it more. Or if, when more-cooked veg was offered, said, 'that would be really kind, thanks', then that would also not be p-a. But to insist that everything's fine and then miserably push the sprouts around the plate is p-a and annoying.

OP, I'm not having a go at your MIL, who is probably a lovely person. It doesn't mean, though, that this can't/shouldn't drive you up the wall.

cortex10 · 23/12/2018 15:43

Do they add bicarbonate of soda to the veg water as well 'just to make sure they are properly cooked'?

PrivateVasquez · 23/12/2018 15:43

I think I would just offer to put hers in the oven for longer to cook it a bit more. Then the decision is on her. I'm a very direct person and never have time for games, so if an adult says "no it's fine" after I offer to do it, then that's that. Conversation over. No need to worry about it any further. If she says yes thanks that would be great, then problem solved.

Original poster

Oysterbabe · 23/12/2018 15:47

Thanks Nancy that's exactly it.
She is a lovely person and my children adore her. But she's also annoying in a few respects!

OP posts:

limitedperiodonly · 23/12/2018 16:54

^I once served my grandma a seared salmon steak. It was perfect.
She complained that I'd burnt the outside and that the middle was still nearly raw. Oh well.^

I wouldn't like your 'perfect' salmon steak either BaronessBomburst I wouldn't say anything but I'd leave the undercooked bits. That's not because I am a philistine or afraid of food poisoning, it's just that it wouldn't be to my taste.

HSMMaCM · 23/12/2018 19:17

You could sell it that you haven't done a special one for her, you've done a special one for you and your DH?

Juells · 23/12/2018 21:55

cortex10
Do they add bicarbonate of soda to the veg water as well 'just to make sure they are properly cooked'?

I always thought that was so things would stay green

XmasPostmanBos · 23/12/2018 22:00

Love the trivial warning OP. I agree with doing the seperate dish of well done meat and veg.

C00lio · 23/12/2018 22:47

If she offers to bring her own, say yes!

Otherwise, I would be tempted to cook her portion to buggery. Completely dried-out meat, veg which is basically boiled into compos, everything cooked way past the point where any sane person would eat it.

I'm pretty sure this isn't what you ought to do. But it would be tempting.

PossiblyPFB · 23/12/2018 23:11

My in-laws are generally lovely but are weird on the food stuff like this too.

Strangely they enjoy a good meal out at a nice restaurant but eat very simply/blandly at home as MIL is not a confident cook. They don’t seem to aspire to cook anything like what they enjoy out, it is strange.

We have had multiple twilight zone conversations where they specifically say their preference is for veg to be crisp and not to be boiled to death and mushy, yet never once have we had a roast at their home which has not included overboiled mush of veg with no seasoning. DH cannot ever remember it being served any other way, so we are not sure what she’s on about. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread