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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DH to go out drinking on Christmas Eve

70 replies

user1471433387 · 23/12/2018 11:57

DH has said that on Christmas Eve people from his work will be going out for drinks when they finish. He wants me to come and pick him up. I’d rather him not because I’ll be 38+6 pregnant and I want him to be able to drive me to hospital if I go into labour. I don’t want him to be drunk. Also it would mean I would be on my own all day with DD 19 months, which is fine, but if he can come home and help out then I think he should.

OP posts:

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/12/2018 14:22

He is an idiot. Does he not realise how stressful it can be going into labour snd how quickly second babies can come? I've heard loads of stories of late / slow first babies and second babies being born on the way to the hospital. And an urgent taxi on Christmas Eve!?!! Or driving yourself between minute long contractions every few minutes?? Has he actually thought about what he's saying at all? I think at this stage there's about a 5 - 10pc chance you'll go into labour every day. Yes it's more likely you won't but it's not a risk worth taking

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 23/12/2018 14:27

If you do go into labour, who will be looking after DD? Presumably DH couldn't do it if he is very drunk?

Original poster

user1471433387 · 23/12/2018 14:37

He wasn’t planning on getting really drunk (I don’t think) but drinking enough to be over the limit. He can handle his drink very well and doesn’t really get hungover.

If I go into labour in the next few days we will be taking DD to a friends’ to look after. My mum arrives later next week to stay with us though so I’m hoping to hold out until then!

OP posts:

Pinkprincess1978 · 23/12/2018 14:49

Even if you weren't heavily pregnant I wouldn't be happy. You have a small child. Christmas even is the most magical day and should be spent together. Plus if he is drinking he is at risk of spoiling Christmas Day by being hung over.

masterandmargarita · 23/12/2018 15:10

So to those who think that wanting to keep christmas eve for family is 'balls' - does that also apply to Christmas day?

FrangipaniBlue · 23/12/2018 15:16

I was 38wks with DS at Christmas 11 years ago, DH didn't touch a drop of alcohol after his work Christmas party around the 20th.

It's not just getting to hospital but we were told by our midwife that labour wards won't let dads in if they think they've been drinking, no way was I going it alone !

Munchyseeds · 23/12/2018 15:25

He is being pathetic....no 2 labour's are the same and none of us can see into the future

Munchyseeds · 23/12/2018 15:26

Cant believe going out for a drink with workmates is that important to him!

MadeForThis · 23/12/2018 17:33

He's being very selfish. It's one night. You have given up a whole lot more for 9 months.

If you agreed he wouldn't drink after 37 weeks and he's already been over the limit twice in less than 2 weeks he's showing you that he cares more about having a drink than being fit for labour. And now he wants to go out drinking again!!

What about Christmas Day. And New Year's Eve?? How many more excuses??

You are 100% not being unreasonable.

MadeForThis · 23/12/2018 17:34

In my second labour I was at 8cm within the first hour.

And he thinks you could drive!!!!

Loopytiles · 23/12/2018 17:36

Selfish behaviour.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/12/2018 17:39

Selfish dick.

HelenaDove · 23/12/2018 17:45

He absolutely shouldnt go.

Even if you wernt pregnant. Because if a relative/spouse of mine ended up ill as a result of drinking too much i would not be spending my Christmas in a hospital waiting room. Especially when its due to their own stupidity . If people want to take risks that close to Christmas fine

Dont expect others to take the consequences.

AtrociousCircumstance · 24/12/2018 11:28

So what’s he doing tonight OP? Hope he’s seen sense and is supporting you.

ChanklyBore · 24/12/2018 11:33

I had a 42 week baby and followed that up with a 39 week baby OP.

Just saying, there.

Original poster

user1471433387 · 24/12/2018 15:45

He is saying he won’t go out at all but is arguing about it. He thinks it is extremely unlikely that I will need to be driven to hospital straight away. I can’t make him see my point.

OP posts:

Rarfy · 24/12/2018 16:05

Oh it's not even an early afternoon drink? Can't fathom not wanting to spend time with your little one on Christmas eve.

Original poster

user1471433387 · 24/12/2018 16:36

I’m not in the UK. It isn’t yet the afternoon here so he’s hoping to get me to change my mind in time for the drinks.

Not sure what to say to encourage him to see my point of view

OP posts:

icannotremember · 24/12/2018 16:39

If DH had wanted to get drunk when i was at term in any of my pregnancies I'd probably have had a full on meltdown if the first "wtf? No!" hadn't been totally accepted. Is he a grown man about to become a father, or an embarrassing loser trying desperately to cling to his youth?

Original poster

user1471433387 · 24/12/2018 17:07

Would you believe he wants a third child (I don’t).

He’s just going to come home now and be in a sulky mood. Not a nice Christmas Eve.

I am upset about the whole thing.

OP posts:

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