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Original poster

To wonder if parents who cosleep with toddlers have very biddable children?

92 replies

abacucat · 23/12/2018 11:04

Many parents co sleep with babies, but I always wonder about parents who co sleep with toddlers and young kids. IME toddlers are fidgety, have a propensity to starfish, and basically be awkward buggers who would make the parents getting a good nights sleep, totally impossible. So do parents who co sleep with toddlers and slightly older just have lovely kids who sleep in a way that means their parents can also sleep well?

OP posts:
Knitwit101 · 23/12/2018 20:48

We co-slept for years and still do now and again. Ds is 6. He's not a peaceful sleeper at all but I seem to just move around with him and he doesn't bother me. I sleep really soundly when he is there.
Dh finds him really annoying though and usually sleeps separately. But then he is a bad snorer which I find more annoying than a wriggly child. Snoring keeps me awake a whole lot more.

So no, he's not biddable but he's comforting and familiar and he doesn't bother me at all.

Neverunderfed · 23/12/2018 20:51

Mine both coslept to about 2ish, it was fine
🤷 We had a big bed, they liked to cuddle and I'd shove them over a bit if I needed to.

#3 is 14 months and will be with us for the foreseeable

PearlandRubies194 · 23/12/2018 20:59

Both of mine would stretch, kick, poke, snore... but it was still better than back and forth from my room to theirs, all night. At least they got a good sleep (me... not much!)

Cookit · 23/12/2018 21:00

Ha no, my toddler takes up most of the bed. I just fit around him.

He wouldn’t sleep without me there though and I don’t know how we’d get him into a bed without tears so I’m not going to force him into it.

Verbena87 · 23/12/2018 21:01

I know on MN there is a better off demographic with presumably bigger houses than average. Not an option for a lot of people unless you want the bed to take up the whole room.

We’ve got a very tiny 2 bedroom cottage and having the 3 of us in one bedroom (double bed with cot cable-tied to the side) means I’ve still got a desk/ sewing room. When my 15 month old goes into the spare room I’ll have no workspace at home.

And no, he’s not biddable, but he’s pretty nice to wake up with.

Stompythedinosaur · 23/12/2018 21:01

My dc were not the comfiest to share with, but since the alternative was no sleep at all I put up with it.

They now sleep fine and in their own beds btw!

Timeforachangeofusername99 · 23/12/2018 21:07

I bed share a double with my 4 and 2 year olds. DH has a second double pushed up to it. Sometimes I join him, sometimes one or both kids roll onto his bed, usually I'm sandwiched between the kids whilst she starfishes Hmm

It works for us. 4 year old is a quiet and cuddly sleeper, if he stirs he located the nearest warm body and snuggled up before dropping off immediately. 2 year old has always been an incredibly light sleeper and boob monster which has been exhausting, but she is slowly improving. I couldn't leave the bed even for a wee without her stirring until she was over 1, it was tough. Ds was also a shocking sleeper as a baby but is a lovely sleeps-through-anything type now, so I have hope that DD will one day be the same.

There are some kids (and adults!) It's almost impossible to share a bed with!

Timeforachangeofusername99 · 23/12/2018 21:10

And with regards to the "well off" demographic, we live in a one bedroom and technically live in poverty as some of the "hidden homeless" despite both working so... we would choose to sleep like we do regardless of income as it works for our family right now. They will have their own beds when they want them, they're quite keen on bunk beds for their birthdays so maybe they'll choose to sleep alone then. I will miss the snuggles but not their cold feet!

Mummadeeze · 23/12/2018 21:14

No, have had 10 years of interrupted bad night’s sleep :( Am really hoping she will grow out of wanting to sleep in my bed soon.

Bababoo13 · 23/12/2018 21:16

Nope mine don’t sleep st all so co-sleeping gives me a tiny bit of sleep and sanity. Last night they were both pissing around in some shape or form till 7 am 😭

Joinourclub · 23/12/2018 21:24

Snoring, star fishing, kicking, fidgeting, it's awful. Just slightly less awful than putting them back to bed a million times and putting up with screaming for hours

I get some comfort from knowing I’m not the only one!

My 2 yo dc likes to kick me in the back at 3 in the back shouting “wake up mummy!” It’s still more restful than her screaming from her own bed.

TheDarkPassenger · 23/12/2018 21:24

I don’t do sleep but they handful of times they’ve been in my bed it’s fucking horrendous. Fidget, move about, touch me (I don’t like being touched while sleeping). It’s not dissimilar to my DP, I wish I didn’t have to co sleep with him sometimes

DrunkUnicorn · 23/12/2018 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDarkPassenger · 23/12/2018 21:25

I don’t co-sleep*

I defintley do do sleep

sj257 · 23/12/2018 21:26

I co-sleep with my 23 month old because he sleeps so badly, it’s easier to sleep with him than keep getting out of bed! He usually turns widthways so I get feet in my back

BottleOfJameson · 23/12/2018 21:27

Nope, we did because it was the only way he would sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time. He mainly snuggled into one of us and kicked the other persistently through out the night (until they gave up and slept in the spare room). Once he'd got rid of the spare parent he'd often somehow climb all the way on top of whoever was left and use our face as a pillow (and he was 99.9% for height and weight at the time).

BackIntoTheSun · 23/12/2018 21:36

DD (15mo) usually ends up in our bed as she is unbiddable and won't go back to sleep in her cot. In our bed she clambers around, pinches and scratches me, sits up and starts chatting... it can go on for hours. But at least I can lie down and just wait for her to get bored and sleep. When she eventually drops off she is pretty still, although sometimes horizontal across the bed. Having a super king bed definitely helps

AveEldon · 23/12/2018 21:45

Mine is not biddable and we have now progessed to a toddler bed at the foot of our bed
We are getting more sleep now vs the bed being in the next room

DonaldDucksTowel · 23/12/2018 21:47

@DrunkUnicorn have some Flowers with sympathy and a Wine in solidarity

Mayhemmumma · 23/12/2018 21:52

I co slept with my DS initially because he was such a nightmare sleeper. He woke frequently but when he did sleep he's completely still so is a joy to sleep next to, especially when he slept through.

Thankfully my DD has always been a great sleeper because on the rare occasions she's slept in with me, I tell her it's like sleeping in a washing machine she wriggles so much!

TheGhostsOfPresidentsYetToCome · 23/12/2018 21:53

DS (6) is an absolute dream to cosleep with. Has been since a baby. He likes to be spooned. I used to lie him on my arm so I couldn’t roll onto him and we’d both lie perfectly still for about 10 hours and wake up in the same position as we fell asleep.

Before I discovered this he Didnt. Sleep. At. All. Getting him to sleep was still hit and miss in with me but once asleep, he was awesome!

TheGhostsOfPresidentsYetToCome · 23/12/2018 21:54

Ha cross post with mayhem and used almost exactly the same descriptors!

Soconfusedbylife · 23/12/2018 21:55

My eldest lies still as a log and is lovely to sleep next to when he gets in with us. My youngest is still very attached to me day and night at nearly 5 and so when he gets in my bed it’s to spoon, i usually get to be little spoon as I like facing away, he would happily sleep led on top of me

Xmasbaby11 · 23/12/2018 21:56

Dd2 is 4 now but has had the odd night sleeping in with us. She's a dream to sleep with - stays still and just murmurs I love you Mummy if you give her a cuddle. I barely notice she's there.

Dd1 otoh would thrash around - never managed a whole night with her!

NoShelfElf · 23/12/2018 21:59

One of mine regularly gets in with us into our king sized bed. I cuddle him in then ultimately get out and sleep alone in a single bed, which is lush. I think he just likes my bed better - he doesn't cuddle up to dh when I get out or miss me when I'm gone!!