To have just sent this text

[Monty27]

My ds was 23 last week.
I know it hurts him.
His df, my xdh for 21 years has bought hself a farmhouse in France and more or less is domiciled there, coming back to this country from time to time to sort stuff out and show his face to his elderly relatives.
How the hell is a df so casual about parenthood?

Your DCs are adults, you divorced years ago. Why shouldn't your ex buy a house in France?

Did you read the thread? And if so, do you honestly believe that the reason OP is made is just because he bought a house in France?

Her ex husband lives in France and isn’t interested in his kids. Only elderly parents ( wonder why.....). Her so is about to turn 21 and craves dads love. She feels rotten for him. She wonders how her ex can be such a miserable b.

At 21 mummy doesnt need to speak for him. Its a 2 way street.

She's not really "speaking for him" though, is she? She's speaking for herself, expressing her anger at his bad parenting.

Well she is isnt she. She might think hes a bad parent. Chances are he isnt going to give a shit what she thinks so in what way is it going to help?

I doubt she thinks it will help, but maybe it makes her feel like she's doing something to call him out on his bullshit

I understand OP.

My ex walked away from our children years ago. They are now in their twenties but it makes me sad that he simply didn't care about them then and still doesn't care about them now. They missed out; they deserved better.

Some people can do that.

He does sound a bit of a crap parent, yes, but at 23 and 25 your kids are more than old enough to have raised it with him themselves if they’d wanted to. So in answer to your question, yes I did think you were unreasonable to send the text. Plus I doubt it’ll change his behaviour for better but will possibly have made it worse. I also think you would have been better off checking with your son first because you might have embarrassed or upset him by sending it.