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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I BU to take DS to hospital?

65 replies

Notrusthere · 22/12/2018 23:11

At a party tonight and DS slipped over and twisted his foot under him. He was in a ton of pain and couldn't put any weight on it. Foot swollen.

I told DH I was going to take him to a and e. He snapped at me that I was over reacting, at DS that he was being silly, it didn't hurt that much.

I had to ask one of DH friends to carry DS to the car as DH has stormed back into party, and DS was screaming in pain (he's a tough kid so n9t a normal reaction to a fall)

Doc at a and e thought it was broken and took x ray but thankfully it's just (!) A sprained/ torn ligament.

I text DH to let him know and he said good I'll see you when I get home (still at party 3 hours later) I replied and said he needed to get back before us so he could carry DS up to bed as still couldn't put weight on foot and I can't lift him for medical reasons (DS is a big 8 year old)

He did that but it's clear he's not really speaking to me and has gone to bed.

I'm absolutely furious. I felt like a single parent tonight and ended up having to ask my dad to drive us so I didn't have to park miles away and carry him from there.

This is not the first time this has happened. Exact same situation except DS had appendicitis (I suspected this but DH and all his pals said I was over reacting)

Was I being unreasonable? If I was I will apologise as I don't want this to spoil Xmas

OP posts:

pissedonatrain · 23/12/2018 00:53

How are things otherwise with your DH? How often does he drink?

Lalliella · 23/12/2018 01:00

You sound a little scared of your DH OP and he sounds a bit controlling. Perhaps you need to have a look at your wider relationship. YANBU.

JimCricket · 23/12/2018 01:11

Definitely not being unreasonable OP is a massive dick.

Willow1992 · 23/12/2018 01:26

You know, for me it would be the fact that he's in a huff with you at the end of the day that would really wind me up.

I could accept him misjudging the situation and thinking you were over reacting, although he handled it badly. What I can't get my head around is that his son is injured, can't do sport for 6 weeks and torn ligaments can be very serious from what I have read and instead of being worried about his son and apologising he is making it all about him? I certainly hope he wakes up tomorrow realising what a dick he has been.

ToeToToe · 23/12/2018 01:31

YANBU I would've taken him to A&E too - and I'm not one for rushing down to the hospital. Your DH wants to party, and won't be inconvenienced by his own child's injury. That is v sad.

I recently had a trip to A&E with ds who split his head open in a game of rugby. He had to be glued back together There was a sign up saying "Children's A&E is for major and minor illnesses and injuries" and then a load of info about triaging, and how people who arrive after you may be seen before you, and so on.

Don't let your DH bully you that you were wrong to take him. He needed it looked at and x-rayed. (I know a woman whose son had a broken arm for 3 weeks, before she sought medical attention, because she didn't think it was that bad an injury! The docs were not impressed.)

Maryjoyce · 23/12/2018 01:33

Sadly there’s no cure for idiocy otherwise you could take hubby to hospital tomorrow.
However you were very right to take your son as until it was x rayed no one would know how bad and often pain is worse from a twist than a break.
I stepped out the back of one of our vans and stepped in the edge of the curb and twisted badly a year ago it took 4 months to get fully better 4 years ago broke my leg and took 8 weeks

Purpleartichoke · 23/12/2018 04:59

I would actually wonder if your husband has an alcohol problem. Ignoring your injured child is not normal behavior.

TidyDancer · 23/12/2018 05:39

I'm wondering if it's the carrying DS about bit that he's reacting to? Clearly he's being a dick for the rest of it and you were absolutely right to take him to A&E but as someone who has been in a similar situation, I've got my DS to hop with support when going short distances from car to hospital for example. I'm not for a minute saying that would make his reaction okay btw.

Original poster

Notrusthere · 23/12/2018 07:33

Update - DH has apologised and agrees he was being an arse. Ds foot much better.

I had all of 4 hours sleep so going back to bed later lol

OP posts:

poppoppop100 · 23/12/2018 08:52

My child has a broken foot atm.i waited til next morning to take her.she got upstairs on her bum and at the hospital you park up and fetch a wheelchair

SoupDragon · 23/12/2018 08:53

On the plus side it's Xmas so good time to sit around with feet up doing bugger all!

Maybe pretend to injure your own foot...!

DS once had a broken ankle that turned out to be soft tissue damage only. He spent 2 weeks in plaster and the fracture clinic said that had probably helped it heal quickly as (like many others have said!) non-breaks can be worse than a break.

poppoppop100 · 23/12/2018 08:54

Forgot to say I waited til next day vecause usually a break feels worse and a share feels better ime

poppoppop100 · 23/12/2018 08:55

Sprain not share

Gina2012 · 23/12/2018 08:59

Trouble is ....you have form for health anxiety which your DH won't tolerate and finds annoying (imo this shows a lack of acceptance of you as a person which is disrespectful)

So I think this will be the pattern going forward with health related stuff

I'd leave DH out of the loop of health stuff and make your own decisions in the future

thaegumathteth · 23/12/2018 12:28

OP I wasn’t making assumptions. You said you had been wrong many times and added a comment about how many people are or everyone in a&e would’ve been admitted.

I therefore took that to mean you have been wrong in going to a&e a lot of times.

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