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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.

311 replies

Ohdesireer · 22/12/2018 19:48

Is this saying still relevant?
I only ask because I’ve wanted to be a nurse all my life, I never got my GCSE’S and didn’t think I was clever enough.

I’m now mid 20s with two DC (3&4)
I decided at the start of this year I was going follow my dream.
I’m halfway into my GCSE maths, if I pass this then onto an access course for a year then uni.

But I’m put off, I got myself a job in a care setting to gain experience for my application. It’s shift work and my partner also does shift work, he’s the main earner so his takes priority and probably always will.
Trying to figure out shifts is a nightmare, I also narrowly escaped having to work Christmas Day (some CF was going to call in “sick” and I would be the next person in)
The thought of missing out on Christmas Day with my kids is daunting. I know people do it, but they know they have to do it and still choose to work in that job.
I don’t know if I want to be the mum who isn’t home for Christmas.

As my partner already works shifts and weekends, I want the DC to have some stability and a parent who is there on weekends.

I think getting into teaching would be the best option for me, maybe a primary school teacher.

My partners mum is a teacher at a blind college.
She leaves at 8:30am and is home by 5pm Mon - Fri.
Once in a blue moon goes into work at the weekend and even then it’s not a must.
And obviously has half term off.

I’ve looked a lot into nursing and the further I look the more I’m put off. I live in a small city (I’m not even exaggerating when I say, most people think it’s a town) so jobs in nursing are hard to come by unless it’s with the NHS.

I’ve heard the saying “those who can, do; those who can’t, teach”
I haven’t looked much into teaching yet, I’d just like advice if people still think this.

I’m not saying I believe it, I just want to know if others honestly do.

My family never expected anything of me.
My mum always said to me, I’m going to end up pregnant at 18, live in a council house and aspire to nothing. She was correct, this indeed did happen. But I now own my own home. (Nothing wrong with living in a council house, but 90% of them in my area are filled with druggies so not the best environment to bring up kids in)

I feel like if I go into teaching, my family will still think I’ve amounted to nothing. Yes I overthink, but the quote is just stuck on loop in my head and I think I need someone to snap me out of it.

I don’t mean to offend anyone, this is just what has been drilled into my head for years.

AIBU?

probably

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2018 14:10

Dandygal1976

You are quite welcome to your anecdotes. Its just a shame that so many people take them as fact over actual evidence.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2018 14:13

Dandygal1976

these are personal comments to me.

You many want to look up personal as they are not about you. But its funny that you want people to respect your views because its your experience but can't do the same for others.

Schoolchoicesucks · 23/12/2018 14:13

I think that while you are studying for your maths GCSE you should consider the (huge!) range of other career possibilities. There are many other things you could be than a nurse or a teacher.
I think you also could benefit from developing your own confidence and not listening so much to your mother. What is her career by the way?

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:15

BoneyBackJefferson

My statements are fact as I witness them (for more 20+ teachers I know) - last time I checked this was applicable in a court of law. BBJ - just because your are conscientious - don't think everyone else in your profession is.

Hohocabbage · 23/12/2018 14:16

Dandygal im sure your sister would love to know ypu are posting this potentially identifying info about her job and feelings about staff

MissMarplesKnitting · 23/12/2018 14:17

If we are being fussy about Buddhism, one branch (Theravada) allows meat eating under certain circumstances, but Mahayana Buddhism does not. Most are vegetarian in this tradition, and some vegan.

So the teacher is wrong, but not that far off.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:17

BBJ - please go and have a G&T. I meant my sister was speaking to me personally - not that they were personal comments. You are taking it personal.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:21

Hohocabbage - I should have put that in my first response - q teachers responding and q teachers then intimating to make someone stop..." I am sure you may be identified and piss someone off. As if I am that dump". Same old when someone challenges teachers on here - why don't they start a TeachersNet or something. I disagree with you and I am adult enough to manage my life. Thanks

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:22

Stupid phone - you get what I mean before we start on the correcting grammar and how to write part (oh you know you want to!).

Beautyandthe · 23/12/2018 14:23

Teacher training is hard and being a teacher is a difficult job. There are many obstacles.

If you qualify as a teacher you have done well. If you stick it out in teaching for many years you are amazing. I couldn't do it. Most of my teacher friends have mental health issues due to the job !!

Don't underestimate it. And know you have to be very smart, have a lot of initiative, perseverance and creativity to succeed.

Beautyandthe · 23/12/2018 14:25

Also .. you're in your mid 20s halfway through GCSE - not sure they would even take you on as a teacher. That would be something to explore before planning anything.

Moussemoose · 23/12/2018 14:29

Living the "life or Riley"?

This Riley does he work in a deprived area? Does he know about self harming? Those middle class kids who are so easy to deal with are at it all the time. Does this Riley help kids whose parents abandon them or kill themselves. Parental suicide is always such a laugh for teachers.

Perhaps Riley could come and help me sometimes I'm obviously doing something wrong but then I have turned down promotions to stay working with the kids and not go into management.

Perhaps Riley is a manager?

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:33

Ohdesireer

Sorry - I do want to respond rather than defend you against teachers on here with nothing constructive to say to help you. If you phrase things incorrectly on here there is no leeway with them but I get what you mean.

Why do you not look to become a teaching assistant? Perhaps start by getting to know your local school and staff by volunteering to read with the children and then you are more likely to get the job when you apply. Show them that you are a hard worker. Get the required grades at GCSE for sure but I think their are course for teaching assistants and you should look at your local college.

That saying is quite old and it sounds like you may have got it through some family bias and that is why you are worried. Fuck em and prove them wrong. Teaching is a wonderful career - and will deliver what you want, depending on the circumstance of where you teach.

GrammarTeacher · 23/12/2018 14:33

Oh yes, every school (just like every work place) has it's own difficulties and issues. Yes there are some rubbish teachers but the vast majority I have met (far more than 20) give their all and work bloody hard.
It's a marvellous thing to want to be. But I wouldn't go in to it because I thought it would be more family friendly than nursing. Both have pros and cons and I wouldn't say one was better than the other.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:34

Moussemoose - please re read my responses. You have missed the point I was making completely.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:35

Oh god - I said 'their' instead of 'there'. Don't do it teachers on here. I repent.

Hohocabbage · 23/12/2018 14:41

Struggling to follow your post Dandygal but i wasnt concernd about you managing your life, more you causing problems for your sister. Teachers are quite restricted in what they can post on social media and i dont think you should post stuff she wouldnt be happy with herself.

ilovesooty · 23/12/2018 14:41

I don't see the point of trying to goad people into correcting errors. It's not only teachers who do it on here you know.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 14:49

Hohocabbage - I am not identifiable. I have had to deal with few scenarios around schools and social media fuck ups before - one even landed with a teachers tits in the Sunday Mail (I clean up LA's messes). I have changed enough detail to keep me anon - whilst not misleading or biasing my point of view. I have a great respect for the teaching profession and you probably do wonders - it is not across the board though (as with most jobs I suspect). You probably know that from where you work. But I do get frustrated with teachers on here with a pack mentality - especially when people just worded the the query wrongly. The OP was not trying to be personal to teachers. It is her life and her upbringing - give some advice teachers and stop this pack mentality that I see so often.

Clionba · 23/12/2018 15:00

I have great respect for the teaching profession
Doesn't sound like it.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 15:06

Clionba - I do for the teachers that work hard. Some do sit in the same easy role for years in the same class in some middle class villages and do sod all. My Sister worked in Leeds inner city and then in village schools. She moved because of this - she loved the challenges of deprived areas. I know teachers that go above and beyond - I really do. But, my experience, is that a lot of teachers have it easy. You must all be taking so much offence at me because you all work very hard. That does not diminish my own experience.. it just make you all great and how it should be.

Dandygal1976 · 23/12/2018 15:10

I would also like to say in regard to how this post started. I knew the most amazing and dedicated Head Teacher I have ever met (even above my own sister). At primary school a child said to the her 'Miss did you come from the jungle' (she was black). Did she shout and rage at the ignorance, poor scorn, be nasty (year 6 this was)... no she educated kindly. One of the most amazing women I have ever met.

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/12/2018 15:11

Dandygal1976

Your Dsis believes 1/3 of her teaching staff are lazy and entitled, If she truly believes this then whatever title she is given she is not a "super head".

As for pack mentality, maybe you should listen to what posters are saying and not spin the narrative you want just because people don't agree with you.

My statements are fact as I witness them

Making them anecdotal

(for more 20+ teachers I know) - last time I checked this was applicable in a court of law.

Its call proof on the balance of probabilities not the same as actual evidence.

Clionba · 23/12/2018 15:12

a lot of teachers have it easy
Maybe they do, I have no idea, but I have seen surveys and read posts on mumsnet etc and would struggle to see how that could be any more than a tiny minority, if that's the case.

PurpleDaisies · 23/12/2018 15:16

a lot of teachers have it easy
Maybe in the olden days. Certainly not now.